So everyone's up in arms about Barack Obama's choice for the person who will give the prayer at the inauguration later this month. He's picked the inspiring-looking, Evangelical, megachurch-leading Rick Warren to bless the ceremony. The logic behind such a choice is obvious; Obama's nodding to the sea of fundies still stockpiling canned peaches and powdered milk after a, Obama win in November convinced them that, yes, the apocalypse is impending (though I guess they wouldn't want to stockpile anything, 'cause that would mean there's a possibility they'd be left behind). He's practicing his much touted "reaching across the aisle," technique. If this is "reaching across the aisle," Obama, please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.

Warren's lambasting of gay marriage has gone the way of many other social conservatives. No longer able to incense the multitudes over the gays' dirty sex, this group has taken on a snakier technique that is so brazen in its sneakiness it just might work. Like Huckabee before him, Warren realizes that he cannot get away with proclaiming gayness wrong, so instead he says there’s nothing wrong with it; he doesn’t agree with “some of [gay people’s] beliefs,” but loves them just the same. No, his problem with gay marriage is a much less provocative one. He, like Huckabee, is a stalwart of the English language, and will not sit idly by and watch as his precious mother tongue is butchered. Marriage, by definition, is a union between a man and a woman, a definition, Warren claims, that “has been universally accepted since the beginning of man.” “I’m not opposed to gays having their partnerships. I’m opposed to gays using the term marriage for their relationship,” he says. He goes further to claim that, “this is not even just a Christian issue. It’s a humanitarian and human issue.” He sums up his views thus: “While I believe the gay view of sexuality is contrary to God’s word, I do believe that God gives us free choice and he gives us a choice to obey his word or to disobey it.” Saddleback ministries has videos of these sermons posted on their website. The offending one can be seen here.

Um, sorry to burst your bubble, Rick Warren, but you are so wrong. First of all, marriage has not had the same universally accepted definition since the beginning of man. Are you forgetting polygamy, arranged marriages, marriages that serve more as business transactions than unions of love, dowries? Marriage has been an ever-evolving status that has only recently come to mean a union into which two people who love each other enter into willingly. And for someone who rails so heartily against the misuse of words, I’d think twice before throwing words like humanitarian around. I mean, you're right, this is a humanitarian issue in the sense that it’s a civil rights issue. It’s an issue of social reform. But this doesn’t vibe with your argument. What I think you, Rick Warren, meant to say (by using a word that is basically a synonym for philanthropical, or sometimes, philanthropist) is that your views come from a secular place in your logic, not a Christian one.

Now, any born-again evangelical who tells you that their opinion on anything is not swayed by their religion is lying. The whole point of being born-again is to live your life, your entire life, for God. Plus, anyone who has contributed to the linguistic salmagundi that is the word “megachurch” has no right talking about definitions and universal acceptance of them.

So I’m kinda bummed that this is the guy Obama picked. But then again, who would have been safe? People would have had problems with a Catholic priest, a black minister, a rabbi… An observance as divisive as prayer at a ceremony that, if anything, promotes leadership and union under that leadership, is a difficult one to carry on. One that is becoming increasingly more difficult to continue.