Yesterday was my mom's memorial, in Albany. It was the first time since she'ddied (the first time in years and years for some) that I've seen many of her friends. They aremostly women, mostly ardent feminists, many lesbians.

The memorial itself was terrific, but the reason I mentionso many of the guests'gender and stance is that the day of celebration of my mom was enhanced by rare good news from the larger world – that of the Iowa Supreme Court's unanimous ruling in favor of gay marriage.

Too much of the time we coastal typessee the vague middle ofour country as a cultural and political vacuum. This is a great day to rethink that.

Also, one of the elements of Sheila Berger that I spoke of at the memorial, one of the aspects of my mom that I most admire, was her moral and ethical beliefs that she never compromised and represented in word and in action as a member ofcountless organizations -ACLU board member, community activist, the list islong-and tirelessdiscusser and arguer. But what always meant the most to me, that Itry to live up to, is that my mother's values were almostnever based onwhat was best for her team.

Human beings, tragically, inevitably, tend to scew what we think is right based on the needs or wants of our team, be itreligious, national, gender, race, aesthetic, or, today more and more, brand. SheilaBerger came as close to being team-bias free as anyone I can imagine, and I think in so doing, she made her bestcontribution to the world. The Iowa decision is one for basic human rights, and as such, it's a benefit to everyone, not just those on the gay team, and even, whether they realize it or not right now, forthose who think they're on the anti-gay team.

I'm so glad my mom was alive to see Barack Obama elected president; from now on events like the Iowa decision will be bittersweet without her here to witness and celebrate.