Over at Townhall.com, columnist Eva Lorraine Molina offers some advice for the female conservatives out there. The simple, four-word solution for these a-changin' times where a conservative woman no longer knows who she is or how she should behave: Act like a lady.
Molina explains: "As our society abandons the conservative values that make women into ladies, women with grace and dignity have become an endangered species—especially on today’s college campuses. The kind of woman who inspired Tom Jones’ song “She’s a Lady” has become an antiquated figure from America’s past."
Tom Joness ideal lady, based on the lyrics of that song, is a doormat ("Well she knows what I'm about / She can take what I dish out) and a showpiece ("She's the kind I'd like to flaunt and take to dinner / Well she always knows her place / She's got style, she's got grace / She's a winner"). And Molina doesn't exactly seem to mind that. Her analysis of the role women should play, specifically conservative women, relies on a statement she never justifies: "Conservativism is not just an ideology; it's a lifestyle." Conservative women should, "act like ladies," because the difference between conservative and liberal women should not just be the way we vote.
So what is being a lady, exactly? Molina doesn't forget to tell us:
A lady does not tell dirty jokes along with men and she does not tolerate men telling dirty jokes in her presence. She does not swear, and she is not considered “one of the guys.” In spite of new fashion trends, a lady always dresses appropriately, leaving a lot to the imagination. When at a social gathering, a lady does not do things she will regret the next day. Above all, a lady is well-mannered, dignified, gracious, and kind.
Oh bother. Is it 1957? Does she think she's Emily Post? If I couldn't tell dirty jokes or enjoy them, what would I do all day? Wear turtlenecks? Cross my ankles when I sit? Vacuum? Try to "reduce?" I can only imagine, because Molina offers no alternative, only condemnation. She only suggests that conservative women should operate on a higher moral level than liberal women. Funny, considering her most famous female collegue on the website is Ann Coulter. And this ad ran next to her column: 
If you can read her shirt, it says, "I'd rather be waterboarding." Demure, indeed.
