Ex-Future-Palin-in-Law Eats Nuts

For many reasons, this commerial makes no sense. First of all, how is eating pistachios like having unprotected sex as a teenager? And how is a burly bodyguard dressed in black like a condom? And why would one need protection from eating nuts? And is Levi Johnston famous enough to be in a commercial? Is he famous enough to need a bodyguard? I mean, he's not even recognizable enough to not wear an article of clothing indicating the state he's from and whose recently retired governor is the sole conduit for his fame. Would you believe paparazzi follow him and scream his name while he eats nuts, warranting a man whose job is to protect him while he eats said nuts?