It’s ironic that of all the wild rhetoric, chest-thumping machismo and venomous barbs to spew forth from Charlie Sheen‘s lips in recent months, he is still most closely associated with a single word: “winning.”
As evidenced by the rousing ovation the oft-maligned actor received upon gracing the MGM Grand at Foxwoods stage April 17, a long-running TV show and a deep IMDB movie catalog virtually assures that Sheen enters every stop on his current Violent Torpedo of Truth: Fear Is Not An Option tour with the room overwhelmingly won over. It’s how long before he loses the fans that has become the million-dollar question—prompting promoters and producers alike to scratch their heads and cross their sweaty fingers with each scheduled stop.
And this particular evening, it appeared said occurrence could be clocked with an egg timer.
“When does the show start?” an audience member yelled out.
“When does your life start?” Sheen retorted. “You know, people say that… ‘the show,’ and I’m like, ‘Dude, I never advertised anything.'”
Sheen paced the stage to field some similar jabs while a guitar player (who remained on stage all night) attempted to fill in the holes with a series of riffs, squeaks and squawks. The whole thing was coming off like a bad high school production. Ticketholders seemed to be double-checking the $82.50/$150 admission prices on their stubs.
Another part of Sheen’s shtick is that he fancies himself a “warlock.” While the Crawler certainly cannot corroborate that claim, he will liken the recovery that followed to that of a prize fighter as Sheen shook off the early barrage, gained his footing and took advantage of his surroundings to score some points of his own.
“You know, it’s baseball season, and I wasn’t sure what jersey to wear,” he offered up, creating a predictable swirl of New York/Boston cheers and jeers. As the cacophony cascaded into a robust “Yankees suck” chant, Sheen seized the moment.
“True story—I actually own the curse of the Bambino contract and in 2004, I accidentally locked it in an old gun safe,” he revealed. “It took a while to find a locksmith who could open it—it was like a 1936 safe. But he finally did, in November, 2004, right after the Red Sox won their first World Series since 1918. So you’re welcome.”
Sheen would similarly regale audience members with offscreen stories from the movies Platoon and Wall Street (while space will not allow for more detail on these, the most important thing to know is that if you ever have the opportunity to dine with Darryl Hannah, you do not want to share her beloved goat cheese with her). The show was also given a much-needed boost by Comedy Central’s Jeffrey Ross, who has started coming in to both roast Sheen and emcee the Q&A portion of the show. In between, Howard Stern fans got a kick out of seeing Chuck Zito onstage (supposedly heading up security), a breast was autographed, and some news was broken.
“I would have you meet the goddesses now, but actually, there is only one goddess now,” Sheen revealed, adding that porn star Bree Olson had left the fold.
In the end, the retention rate of nearly 90 percent of the 4,000 in attendance—plus the fact that most were applauding—prompted the Torpedo launcher to declare this particular evening “the best night so far on the entire tour.”
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In stark contrast, George Lopez, a comedian who still has his TV show on the air, had no problem holding the capacity crowd’s attention all by his lonesome at the Mohegan Sun Ballroom the previous evening, April 16. Picking up the Latino comedy torch first ignited by Cheech and Chong, Lopez and his takes on everything from politics, immigration and racism have garnered him near-universal appeal.
“I wanted to be a cop when I was little,” he quipped, “so I dressed up like one for Halloween one year. But I forgot—in my neighborhood, nobody opens the door for cops. It was the worst candy year ever.”
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