Among the perilously drifting banks of emails that pile up in my inbox every day, a question recently struck me like a spotlight. It said, “Hertz: Music Industry’s New Star Maker?” The taste that hit my tongue upon reading those words was rather like a mix of gasoline and the must of sweat-grimed dollar bills.

Most people, especially musicians, know the music industry is as crass as any other buck-grabbing enterprise, full of questionable middlemen siphoning off percentages of an artist’s career. And corporate advertising has long made a habit of finding songs it can exploit for their soul, hoping musicians will agree to give up lifeblood in return for a sorry embalming of greasy cash.

Hertz’ campaign is boldly and baldly opportunistic: a musician named Amy Regan, who looks to be another fresh-faced young woman toting an acoustic guitar with which to emote, has agreed to be front and center in Hertz’ latest effort to convince us all to rent their cars. Says the press release, “…when Hertz rolls out its new campaign next month, it up’s [sic] the ante—with Amy Regan starring, and her song “Carry On” being central to the commercial’s storyline of Amy as a young-up-and [sic] coming musician getting to her show on time—with the help of Hertz of course. It is an exciting artistic and cooperative effort that may signal a new way of discovering new music and talent.”

Me, I’ve heard my share of arguments that I should loosen up my anti-corporate attitudes, just not worry about such things, because, truth be told, they make my head explode. The fastest way, it seems to me, to turn even a fantastic song into something with the emotional resonance of, say, “plop, plop, fizz, fizz,” is to attach it to a product rather than to one’s authentic voice. There are reasons musicians like Tom Waits and others have made a point of keeping their material out of the corporate world.

Who among us hasn’t heard the familiar strains of some high-school favorite tune, its hard edges softened to bubbly, synthesized joy, sung by some unreasonably happy vocalist who sounds like he’s huffed nitrous, and turned to the screen to see the tune supporting the sale of foaming bathroom cleaner? (It is indeed that very phenomenon that may first indicate, in our culture, having turned a corner toward middle age.)

The singer Hertz is supporting, Amy Regan, may get the last laugh, of course. Hertz may indeed propel her to stardom based on her inclusion in an ad campaign. For her sake, I hope so.

For Hertz’ and ours, I hope not. Because if it works once, we can all expect to be inundated with ads full of new unknowns, happily scrubbing toilets in order to make it to a gig on time, spritzing branded air freshener in their practice spaces and jacking up on Abilify before they hit the stage. It’s going to be hard to keep your rock cred when you got your start pushing fabric softener.

Perhaps it’s a hardline stance, this resistance to the corporate helping hand. But I’m hardly alone in my annoyance. Just witness the latest “campaign” from that most wonderfully weird band of the late ’70s, Devo. Because of its ongoing nature, it’s ripe for a column all its own, but Devo has undertaken something that outdoes even Hertz’ shot in the dark boosting of a young singer.

On May 18, Devo announced the results of its “Song Study.” Not only is the band happy to see that the “de-evolution” for which it stands has proceeded at a startling pace, it’s more than happy, in its fashion, to embrace another level entirely of corporate largesse. The Song Study was announced this way:

“DEVO Inc., and it’s [sic] musical division DEVO, are in need of your help. In an effort to comply with the growing need for appealing sonic products in the mass market, we have officially launched the ‘Devo Song Study’ to collect data regarding which of our current roster of recorded material is most appealing to you, the general public…. Currently the band has created 16 new songs, which, at the request of corporate leadership, must be narrowed down to 12 for the official album release.

“This interactive test will gauge your exact opinion on matters of musical taste and is the latest technological wrinkle in facilitating DEVO’s ongoing mission to appeal to everybody. We need you, the harrowed content consumer, to determine these final 12 songs. And we assure you that any measured contribution to this cause is time well spent, and enables a freedom of choice that was foretold long ago.”

Now if only Hertz had gotten that memo.