Not much can make me jealous of you penis-toting folks. I heart my vagina–complicated orgasms, periods, hidden G-spot and all. When it comes time for a little… me time… I’ve got vibrators, dildos and hands to play with plus many more nerve endings in the clitoris than you’ll ever find in the head of the penis. Sure, you may climax faster, but male masturbation is just lube, a dirty magazine and some Kleenex, right?
Wrong. Yes, I heart my vagina. But when the Japanese-made Tenga male masturbation sleeves finally hit U.S. store shelves, I couldn’t help but feel a little green-eyed. Sure, I had always known of male masturbation sleeves, the flimsy tubes of internally ribbed elastomer designed to add some textured cushion to your solo pushin’. Even the notorious Fleshlight, with its easy-to-clean outer shell lined with the oh-so-realistic vaginal or anal sleeve, didn’t impress me much. But Tenga? Not only has Tenga got me jealous, but they’ve got me (of all people) blushing.
Tenga’s Onacup line, like all their masturbation sleeves, follows the standard jerk-sleeve formula: a soft, internally textured tube you can insert yourself into for partner-simulating sensations. One touch, though, of the pre-lubricated, oddly realistic interior of the Onacup (with my finger, mind you) and I knew that Tenga wasn’t your typical masturbation sleeve. It felt blush-worthy, and suddenly I had a healthy dose of penis envy.
Tenga Onacups consist of an elastomer sleeve inside a hard plastic shell (with one side open for insertion, and the other closed for suction). Disposably designed for one-time use (as the elastomer is impossible to clean completely), the Onacup series includes five different sleeves with varying internal textures, tightness and suction. Soft Tube’s extra-flexible shell gives you maximum squeeze control, Deep Throat mimics what you think it mimics, Rolling Head has an accordion-like midsection designed for strategic undulations, Air Cushion provides a soft, pillowy cling, and Double Hole gives you two sides to penetrate for solo variety or a virtual threesome with a kinky comrade.
For a more portable pleasure break, try Tenga Eggs, a half-dozen carton of disposable, one-time use sleeves smartly designed for the guy on the go. Pick your poison (as each egg offers different rubbing with different ribbing) and keep it in your pocket for spontaneous self-pleasuring sessions. When the mood strikes, simply peel off the outer shell to expose the soft elastomer egg that stretches down to envelope any size, then toss it out when you’re done.
For a greener Tenga experience, invest in the Flip Hole, the most impressive sleeve in the Tenga bunch. While Onacups’ and Eggs’ porous elastomer sleeves are impossible to disinfect and disinegrate quickly, reusable Flip Hole was designed to last, with a supple, non-porous silicone interior encased in a two-part hard plastic shell which flips open for easy inside access and complete cleaning with soap and water.
Though questionably named, the Flip Hole is by far the most sophisticated Tenga in the bunch, with a wide variety of nubs, ribs and ripples strategically placed down the entire shaft. They take you down a more than pleasurable path toward the tip’s final pocket, which offers 360 degrees of head-caressing stimulation. With three specially designed “push pads” built into the case, you can apply pressure when and where you want it without compromising Flip Hole’s soft suction.
For a tighter squeeze with new internal textures, upgrade to the Flip Hole Black, or try the Flip Hole Lite, which loses the push pads in favor of a compact, light-weight design with stronger vacuum suction. To make matters even more realistic, keep things cozy with the Tenga Hole Warmer, an electrically heated rod which fits inside both Onacups and Flip Holes and is sure to have you questioning what’s “real” and what’s Tenga.
Finally, even this writer will admit that when it comes to Tenga, words can’t say what a video can. Visit fliphole.com for how-to videos which, while not technically pornographic, are sure to bring you up… to speed on why Tenga’s got me envious.
