When people find out that I write about sex toys, they lean in to whisper the inevitable question: “So what’s the best?” Especially when it comes to vibrators, they’re always looking for The One, the guaranteed insta-orgasm.
Though I hate to disappoint, I never have the answer. To lean on old faithful food/sex analogies, people’s bodies are as unique as their taste buds. Just because you love spicy food doesn’t mean I do. Similarly, just because the (fictional) ladies on Sex in The City find the Rabbit vibrator delicious doesn’t mean it’ll have everyone reaching for seconds. So how do you find the right vibe? Cater to your personal taste with the right mix of the following ingredients:
Vibration speed and patterns: Not all vibes vibe the same and not all vibes will vibe with you. Choose a vibrator that has a variety of speeds and pulsation settings, allowing you to experiment with what works for you. Though one-speed bullet-style vibes are cheap, if their single speed doesn’t do it for you, you just wasted 20 bucks. Instead opt for something like the Lucky 7, a bullet that packs seven different speeds and pulsation patterns (goodvibes.com). Other types of vibration to consider include oscillating motors (which provide a thuddy rather than buzzy feel) and strength—the more batteries, the stronger the vibe and those that plug into the wall (like the Hitachi Magic Wand) pack the biggest punch of all.
“Insertability”: While the clitoris responds more to vibration than the inner part of the vagina, internal vibration contributes to some great orgasms, too. Unlike smaller bullets, vibrators with longer shafts can be used externally and inserted, giving you more bang for your bucking. Those with a curved end reach the G-spot while “twice-as-nice” toys (such as the famous Rabbit) are built to stimulate both internally and externally, working in tandem with a strategically placed outer vibe attached to an insertable shaft.
Material: Always check the box to see what kind of material your vibe is made of. Silicone and plastic can be disinfected with soap and water. Jelly rubber and elastomer toys, however, should always be used with a condom if inserted, since small pores in the surface permanently trap bacteria that can lead to yeast infections and more. Buzz-kill.
Body Parts: Which fancy do you plan on tickling? If you’re purely a clit-climaxer, smaller vibes (try Bullet Buddies, thescreamingo.com) will do the trick. On a quest for the G-spot? Go for the aforementioned curved insertable (the G-Twist, RO-120 Mini Mate and the Gigi are just a few of the hundreds out there; check babeland.com). Looking to explore the back door? Any vibrator with a base is anal-safe. Meet all three of these criteria with the Night Rider, an inexpensive, multi-speed vibe that’s slightly curved with a base so it can reach the G-spot and clitoris simultaneously, or safely reach the prostate (goodvibes.com).
The Specifics: Water babies should opt for something waterproof. The shy will appreciate cleverly discrete vibrators; I Rub My Duckie is an undercover vibe sure to be your new favorite bath toy (bettersex.com), while Lelo’s Mia vibe looks like a tube of lipstick and recharges in the USB port of your computer (en.lelo.com). Looking to shake things up with your sweetie? Partner-friendly vibrators include those with longer, slender handles for easy reach or those with separate battery packs that allow one to control speed and the other to pleasurably position (try the wirelessly-controlled Cry Baby, stockroom.com). Or choose a toy specifically built for partner play like the hands-free We-Vibe which vibrates internally and externally during penetration and can be worn under a harness (we-vibe.com).
Cost: Don’t break the bank for your first vibe. Treat it as an inexpensive learning experience. The lower the price tag, though, the shorter the lifespan. So when it comes time to upgrade, take your newly sophisticated vibrator palette and apply it to your new purchase.
Finally, as when you decide on dinner, trust your instincts about what sounds good. After considering your other options, return to what initially caught your eye. It might just be the only thing that’ll satisfy your craving.
