Ah, the blow job. Somewhere on the road to sex-god(ess), between reading the Kama Sutra and installing the sex swing, the once terrifying adolescent sexual initiation rite sadly becomes a mere pit stop between a faltering erection and penetrative sex.
Big mistake. You can’t master calculus without first dominating addition. Nor can you fully rely on penetrative sex in a quickie scenario—say, in a JCPenney’s dressing room (people monitor those, you know). Your sex godhood is only as strong as its foundation. It’s time to perfect fellatio.
Great head is a visual performance as much as it is a tactile one (mirrors can do wonders). Kneel down while he stands or sits, straddle him while he’s lying down (try reverse cowgirl/cowboy) or play with power exchange by rolling over and letting him do the thrusting (just establish a timeout signal).
Before you get down there, make some decisions. Will you use condoms? Talk to your partner to assess your STI transmission risk, keeping in mind that STIs (including HIV) can be transmitted orally. Increase his sensation by putting lube inside the condom and cut the latex taste with flavored options.
Lube it up! If going down has got you drooling, stick to saliva. If not, silicone or liquid lubes are relatively tasteless, so try flavored Sliquid Swirls. Lube up your hands, his penis, his perennium (the sensitive skin between the scrotum and his backdoor), the backdoor itself (if you’re headed there) and even slap on some lip balm. Communicate with him about how much slip he prefers with his slide, but never leave him high and dry.
Know your terrain. Be gentler with the sensitive head of the penis (cover those teeth!), directing firmer grips and stroking to the shaft. Wrap your hand around the base of the penis while orally stimulating the tip, coordinating the stroking of your hand with your mouth movements for all-over sensation. Or, go hands-off for a wilder all-oral approach. Uncircumsized? Wrap your fingers around and gently pull down the foreskin and continue as usual, moving the foreskin up and down with your strokes.
Notorious deep-throating takes practice. Position your mouth so it makes a clear path down your throat, relax, and breathe through your nose. If that pesky gag reflex kicks in, try making a ring with your fingers and thumb and placing it over the “O” of your lips to make a deep-throatesque continuation of your mouth.
Explore your surroundings. Penis and balls are a package deal, so don’t neglect the boys. Licking, sucking, caressing and even gentle tugging (especially during ejaculation) can be the cherries to his blow job sundae. Venture further south (with permission, of course), stroking the sensitive perennium or even slipping a (well-lubed!) finger or anal plug into his booty, hooking towards the belly button to stimulate the prostate.
Sexcessorize. Vibrating cock rings blissfully buzz the balls. Holding a vibrator against your cheek while you suck causes a tingling ripple effect. Or try a small fingertip vibe like the Fukuoku (babeland.com) for subtle manual sensations. Add power to your play with restraints and blindfolds (on you or him) or add extra elements with ice cubes, Altoids or lukewarm tea.
Never underestimate eye contact, and show your enthusiasm! (Remember, if you don’t want to be there, you shouldn’t be). Well-placed “Mmm”s feel and sound nice. Throw in a little dirty talk (avoiding diminutives like “winky”), or pop in a porno.
And though mixing it up makes for some fabulous fellatio (and gives your jaw a break), stick to a rhythmic, sustainable stroke when he’s close to climax, as changing it up last-minute can throw an orgasm off course. What to do with the…stuff? Establish a signal he can give you when close so you can politely divert to a towel or preferred body surface, or… bottoms up! (Tip: The deeper he is in your mouth, the less bitter it’ll be, as most of your taste buds are up front).
Finally, remember that sloppy can be good. Like truly enjoying barbeque ribs, giving a good blow job isn’t a dainty affair. Don’t blot the corners of your mouth with a hanky—just let it slide. Bon(e) appetit!
