This is one of those ideas that I can picture being born in a smokey conference room, packed full of “idea men” who are trying to “contemporize the brand.” Truly, don’t hate these men: they have good intentions.

Really, wow. Just…yuck. What audience are they targeting here? The awkward whiteboy/aspiring rapper subset? Were the 1985 Chicago Bears booked? There’s an obligatory Vanilla Ice reference that’s just begging to be unearthed here, but better tastes must prevail.