Here’s a moment I loved today: two first grade girls stood—each holding a door—where the front hallway leads to the staircase and all the kids (and some parents and teachers) pour down the stairs as the school day officially begins. Rather than holding it a moment and moving on into the crowd, they stood still and held the door waiting for the stream of people to stop. We thanked them and continued to the staircase. They looked at once serious and totally pleased. They were helping. When I returned from the hallway by the second grade, the pair was holding the doors at the bottom of the stairwell. Again, they were not hurrying at all. They were standing holding the door curious to see whether the line of people would ever stop flowing past.
They were totally in the moment.
I was sucked right in, just briefly, to that feeling, that delicious sensation of doing something completely intensively—with curiosity and purpose and importance. They were on task.
I was so glad I didn’t ask whether they should be in class yet.
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Thank goodness I had such a great moment. The morning, the fifteen year-old, the getting to school… um, it’s often (think, today) no fun. That’s all. I’m saying about that right now. Feel free to fill in the blanks. Maybe you were a teenager once upon a time. Or maybe you raised one already. In any case, I think you get it.
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For what it’s worth, the thing I’ve been thinking about a lot these days is how to slow myself down enough to be in my moments and move from my gut and heart a little more… deliberately for lack of a better word. I’ve been sitting with some questions about work and keep going back to something a friend wrote about building a blog’s audience which was basically this: if you are being true to the work, the people will come. Ever since then, I’ve begun to enjoy writing my blog that much more. I’m actually in it. I like being in it. I made some decisions based on that sensation of engagement, regardless of what “happens.”
While I cannot seem to balance everything I want into the 24/7 timeframe, I am noting when my choices put me in moments and again, I like the sensation that brings. Sunday, I volunteered at a big event to celebrate the preservation of farmland and rather than rushing after my shift, I stayed too long. It was great to let myself be late for other things or whatever and just be there for the whole thing. Last night, I ran into friends in town and ended up hanging with one, again too late in terms of my sleepiness, but just right in terms of my friendship.
Earlier in the day Sunday, Saskia and I went to the playground. Although I cannot exactly articulate why, this photo is my favorite and my best. She modeled in it, that’s for sure (as she so often does).
I’m taking notes.
