Hitachi Me Baby, One More Time

Screw Sex and The City and their Rabbit Habit vibrator. The Hitachi Magic Wand would kick that little bunny’s ass in the vibrator wrestling ring (

The Hitachi is the secretly world famous heavyweight champ of buzzing sex toys, earning its trophy for consistently beating out even the most stubborn clitoral orgasms. This vibrator is strong—iron-pumping, pulling mac trucks kind of strong.

If you’re the type who’s always begging for more pressure and faster movement in your clitoral stimulation, the Hitachi is for you. However, the Hitachi is your grandmother’s vibrator. Though it packs a punch like no other, it’s bulky, only has two speeds, must be plugged into the wall with a 12-foot cord, and is known for blowing up foreign electrical sockets.

We don’t have time to wash our clothes in the creek, grind our flour with mortar and pestle, or even read the news from a device that’s not a smart phone. Here’s how to get Hitachi strength from modern vibes that can actually fit into your purse, extension cord-free.

The brand new release of the We Vibe Tango brings us a waterproof, rechargeable, super-strength toy in a lipstick-tube shape and size. With eight teeth-rattling vibration modes and a guarantee to win that vibrator race across the table at your friend’s bachelorette party, this modern vibe brings the pleasure to those who love inescapable clitoral pressure (

JeJoue’s MiMi is my personal favorite out of the petite-and-powerful mostly because it’s just so damn pretty. Sleekly designed, MiMi’s smooth, round shape sits like a river rock in your palm for an ergonomic grip during play. Also waterproof and rechargeable, MiMi’s several vibration patterns are delivered in a low, rumbling frequency that mimics the Hitachi almost exactly (

For a zippier buzz without losing power, turn to Jimmy Jane’s Pleasure to the People line, previously covered in past column “Perfect Form” (June 16, 2011). While other intense toys are designed for basic clitoral stimulation, Jimmy Jane’s Form 2, 3 and 4 are all creatively made for different sensations, allowing for special features such as “surround-sound” clitoral vibration (Form 2), added manual pressure (Form 3), or even internal G-spot stimulation (Form 4) (

If you want the heavyweight punch without shelling out the big bucks for rechargeability, enjoy the short-lived fun to be found in cheaper toys like the one-speed Pocket Rocket ( and the RO-120 Bullet, enhanced with five vibration modes (

Complete your powerful vibrator upgrade by quelling ancient myths about strong vibration. Won’t a strong vibrator make my you-know go numb? Will I forever after be immune to other types of nonvibrating stimulation? Won’t it hurt? The answers are “possibly, temporarily,” “no” and “maybe.”

Putting a strong vibrator on any body part for long enough has the potential to make you feel a little overstimulated and “numb.” Fear not! This isn’t a permanent condition, nor will most people be using these vibes (especially the Hitachi) for that long—with this kind of vibration, it’s usually over and done with pretty quickly.

The second question is heavily tied into the general fear and stigma around sex toys—that the toy will be so amazing we’ll just never want to go back to or enjoy anything else (especially if it has anything to do with our boyfriends’ penises). Using toys, including strong toys, is simply a way to introduce variety into your sex life and, in the case of monstrously potent vibrators, can simply provide handy tools to get the job done after a long day at the office. (See past column “Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad Vibrator,” March 10, 2011 if you’re still unconvinced).

Finally, strong vibration is an acquired taste, and you’ll know pretty quickly if you’ve acquired it. For many, powerful vibes result in instant overstimulation that’s uncomfortable and, yes, a little painful. You’ll live. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you: no matter how cute and small, the new Hitachi-esque vibes are not for the faint-of-clit.

Yana Tallon-Hicks

Author: Yana Tallon-Hicks

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