I’m delighted to have written about the way the word mother falls short—and also perhaps doesn’t—for Carrie Goldman’s Portrait of an Adoption blog, where she’s featuring 30 guest posts this month in honor of National Adoption Month.

Truth is, some days, Saskia’s very clear about names and tummies and all those adoption terms. Other days, we learned, less so.

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Case in point: the other day, Lucien was reading a book about adoption to Saskia. Lucien: “This is about adopted kids.”

Saskia: “I’m adopted.”

After a bit, Ezekiel took over for Lucien, so Lucien could make them some food. Ezekiel: “Who is your birth mother?

Saskia: “Liz? Or Bob?” Her face scrunched up quizzically. “Or Grandma Lisa?”

Ah, birth parent/grandparent, po-tay-to/po-tat-to.