It’s shameless, really, the way media regurgitates news from throughout the previous annum under the guise of a Top 10 list or meaningless award package.
As one who not only attends many of the same holiday bashes as my fellow members of the fourth estate but who also has the same deadlines, I’d say the motivation for such time-saving measures is also transparent.
While your friendly neighborhood Crawler would love nothing more than to buck this trend, the truth is, it will cost him several dozen bucks more if he doesn’t hightail it over to his holiday soiree post-haste. Seems the powers that be—coupled with the current economy—have forced the open bar to close after the first hour.
So without further ado, we give you the 10th annual Nightcrawler Notable awards: an unscientific, unnecessary ode to area audio, humbly presented for nothing more than your entertainment.
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The THIS BAND’S THE SHIT Award: Tagyerit
The Amherst husband and wife team of Rich and Flo Newman have made quite a name for themselves peddling their unique amalgam of experimental pop and rock for the past decade and a half under the moniker Tagyerit. They’ve even had one of their tunes used on an Xbox/Playstation video game whose soundtrack was dubbed best of the year by MTV.
Before strapping on a signature rabbit-shaped axe, however, the Newmans had another hobby. It used to be on the QT, but after the upcoming feature on the Travel Channel, the whole world will know about their TP.
“We call it the Whole World Toilet Paper Museum, and we started collecting samples in 1978,” Rich revealed. “At the end of August, the Travel Channel flew four guys and all their equipment to interview us. It was pretty amusing to spend 11 hours with a TV crew completed focused on our toilet paper.”
What started as an inexpensive, easy-to-carry means of chronicling world travel has blossomed into a star-studded affair, too, with everyone from Madonna and Sharon Stone to Ted Lange (aka The Love Boat’s Isaac) lending their John Hancocks on toilet paper to the Newmans.
Perhaps the crowning jewels of the collection are a sample with “Why This?” scribed across by none other than Woody Allen, and Harrison Ford’s comedic “To two good shits. Best, Harrison Ford.”
Rich and Flo Newman’s Whole World Toilet Paper Museum—as well as their tune “Neat Junk”—will be featured on the Travel Channel’s Bizarre Collections, slated to air at 5 p.m. EST on Jan. 1.
The HAPPY ENDING Award:
Mark Sheehan
For years, local promoter Mark Sheehan made it his mission to revitalize the original music scene. On the evening of Wednesday, March 30, rescue workers searched frantically for his vital signs.
“I was run off the road going about 65 mph and ended up with a bleeding spleen, broken ribs and sternum, staples in my head and a partially collapsed lung,” he recalls.
As evidenced by the upcoming and fifth annual installment of Sheehan’s Happy Valley Showdown—on tap at Noho’s Basement for seven Sundays starting Jan. 8— the veteran scenester is as resilient as he is reliable in providing live outlets for fledgling and lesser known musical acts. Here’s to many more years, Mark.
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The CALL IT ANYTHING BUT HAPPY ENDING Award: Maximum Capacity
After having its entertainment license suspended for 10 days this summer after a “Men In Motion” performer revealed his manhood, the durable venue rebounded with a robust roster of talent, restroom renovations and assorted sound system improvements.
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The ROYAL RETREAT Award:
Jon Wysocki
After some 17 years pounding the skins for multi-platinum local heroes Staind, Jon Wysocki relinquished his drum throne shortly after recording had wrapped on the band’s seventh studio offering earlier this year.
“I just got to a point where I wanted a voice in the band—not just be ‘the drummer,'” Wysocki revealed to the Crawler at the time. Weeks later, the personable percussionist would report that he had in fact obtained said scenario—accepting an offer to keep time for Windy City rockers Soil.”
Send correspondence to Nightcrawler, PO Box 427, Somers, CT 06071; fax to (860) 394-4262 or email Garycarra@aol.com.
