Not to sound like too much of a curmudgeon, but South Hadley should stay off the damn grass.
The town recently joined Springfield in being the only communities in the area that impose fines when grass on a private lawn grows to a pearl-clutching height of six inches. Keeping a lawn in such a horrifying state racks up a $100-a-day fine for the homeowner.
The legislation smacks of the same attitude that requires drug testing for welfare recipients, wait times for abortions, and voter ID laws: it assumes people who aren’t living up to the status quo are morally deficient and need to be punished like a child. The most galling thing about these laws is they address problems that don’t exist while simultaneously making life harder for people who already have it hard enough. Fewer than 1 percent of the votes cast in this nation are done so “fraudulently;” drug testing of welfare recipients is an added cost that doesn’t catch anyone but a few potheads; and wait times for abortions assume women are too stupid to make decisions and should really go home and think about what they’ve done instead of getting a legal medical procedure.
Likewise, the South Hadley law addresses a problem that doesn’t exist.
This law is unnecessary and punitive and South Hadley officials know it.
It’s in their meeting minutes.
On May 7, 2013, the Selectboard discussed, among other things, the creation of a Good Neighbor Bylaw, “a regulation that would set standards for property maintenance such as lawn mowing and home repair.”
The bylaw was proposed because the Board of Health was getting phone calls from residents complaining about the states of their neighbors’ yards, claiming them to be health hazards. To address these calls, the board director would hunt down property information, send letters, and conduct follow-up visits to make sure a yard had improved. In th meeting minutes, Director Sharon Hart said the process took a lot of her time and she had to cut back on enforcement.
The time it took to compel people to respond to the enforcement orders was likely compounded by the fact that owners of disappointing yards were rarely breaking any laws. It’s hard to get people to change when they’re not doing anything wrong.
Assistant Town Manager Jenifer Wolowicz noted that if approved the “Good Neighbor” bylaw could be another avenue for neighbors to play out their conflicts with the town as partner. She also noted that unkempt lawns doesn’t seem to be a prevalent problem in South Hadley.
Let’s call this new bylaw what it is: a tax on low- and middle-income families imposed by people who have the luxury of time and affluence that allows them to get in a tizzy over ankle-high grass.
The South Hadley bylaw makes no concession for people who work two jobs and want to hang with their family on the weekend instead of pushing a mower, or the elderly who may be unable to clip grass solo, or the disabled, or the sick, or the people who like natural looking lawns replete with wildflowers, or the folks who pay their mortgage and taxes and just don’t feel like mowing the damn grass.
The ones who suffer are the same people who suffer under most laws: folks for whom having to pay $100 on some arbitrary bullshit is a real hardship. The guy who has a landscaper come weekly to keep the lines trim isn’t going to pay. And the people soaking their properties with fertilizers and weed killers that run-off lawns and pollute water resources are likewise A-OK in South Hadley. They aren’t going to pay.
Look, I’ve had annoying neighbors and I’ve been an annoying neighbor. The only thing that helps the situation is to heed Robert Frost’s wise words: “Good fences make good neighbors.”
If the state of your neighbor’s grass is driving you to distraction, that’s your problem. Instead of legislating the community and making the people around you pay, adhere to the principal of smaller government, suck it up, and spend the money on a fence for yourself.•
Kristin Palpini can be contacted at editor@valleyadvocate.com.
