Muslim clerics complain of the commercialization of the holy city of Mecca during the annual hajj pilgrimages, but for Pope Francis’ visits to New York, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia in mid-September, shameless street vendors and entrepreneurs already appear to be eclipsing Mecca’s experience. Merchants said they’d be selling, among other tacky items, mozzarella cheese statuettes of the pope ($20), a “pope toaster” to burnish Francis’ image on bread, a Philly-themed bobblehead associating the pope with the movie boxer Rocky, local beers Papal Pleasure and YOPO (You Only Pope Once) and T-shirts (“Yo Pontiff!” and “The Pope Is My Homeboy”). The Wall Street Journal quoted a Philadelphia archdiocese spokesman admitting that “you kind of have to take it in stride.”
Florida’s best courtroom
In May, after shouting “religious proverbs” at patrons of the Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florid, suspect David Riffle was charged with trespassing. He greeted Broward County Judge John “Jay” Hurley at his bail hearing by inquiring, “How you doin’, a–hole?” Unfazed, Hurley responded, “I’m doing fine. How are you, sir?” After listening to Riffle on religion a bit longer, Hurley set bond at $100. In August, talking to Judge Hurley from jail via closed circuit TV, arrestee Susan Surrette, 54, “flashed” him as she tried to prove an alleged recent assault. The self-described “escort” and “porn star” (“Kayla Kupcakes”) had lifted her shirt to reveal bruises. Her bond, also, was $100.
Bright ideas
A Chinese woman identified only as Zeng was detained and stabilized at Beijing Capital International Airport in August after being found dazed on the floor at a boarding gate. She had attempted to fly with a bottle of expensive cognac (Remy Martin XO Excellence) in her carry-on — a violation of Chinese regulations barring liquids over 100 ml and was presented with the ultimatum to give up the bottle or miss the flight. She decided to drink the contents on the spot, but was subsequently declared too drunk to board.
”And another thing, dad”
Michael May, 44, was arrested in Lincoln County, Kentucky, in August after the Pilot Baptist Cemetery near Stanford reported that he had tried to dig up the grave of his dead father “in order to argue with him,” according to Lexington’s WLEX-TV. May told officers his dad had died about 30 years ago. Alcohol was involved in the decision to dig.
More things to worry about
Under a 1981 treaty, at least 50 countries, including the United States, have banned their militaries from employing flamethrowers as “inhumane,” but entrepreneurs have begun to market the devices domestically for $900 to $1,600 each based on the distance of the flame, at 25 feet or 50 feet. Federal regulators appear uninterested (as the contraptions are technically neither firearms nor explosives), and only two states prohibit them outright, though a few jurisdictions believe flamethrowers are illegal under fire codes. The Ohio startup Throwflame has sensed the need for marketing savvy and describes flamethrowers as primarily for “entertainment.” Recent news reports indicate a slight run on sales under the suspicion that authorities will soon realize the danger and outlaw them.
∎ After two women accused Sheffield Village, Ohio, attorney Michael Fine of “hypnotizing” and sex-talking to them during office consultations, police and the county bar association opened an investigation in November 2014. Though Fine was being consulted on a custody matter, he was secretly audio-recorded (according to one woman’s lawsuit) touting “powerful whole body orgasms” and suggesting that he was
