Sitting around the office discussing the news and spilling coffee down my sweater, I can’t believe we’re almost to 2016 and a proper to-go coffee cup lid is yet to be invented — or at least, widely used.
My gripes got the Advocate staff thinking about what other things we’re surprised humanity hasn’t figured out by now, and that snowballed into us creating a wish list of things that would make future life in the Valley that much better.
Here’s our list. Can someone get on these?
∎ An additional bridge between Northampton and Hadley. Coolidge just can’t take it anymore.
∎ Donald Trump to go the hell away before he ruins our country.
∎ A use for pennies. (New rule: if you can’t use it to pay a parking meter, get rid of it.)
∎ More parking meters like they have in Amherst. Use a card? Pay via phone? Yes, please.
∎ An end to daylight savings. Does it serve any purpose other than to disturb our cycles?
∎ Springfield Mayor Domenic Sarno to officially wed MGM. Seal the deal, already.
∎ For all Freedom of Information Act and public records requests to be filled completely and promptly.
∎ A cure for heroin addiction.
∎ For all I-91 construction to magically complete overnight — or at the very least have every lane open for a week out of every year.
∎ Being able to say “Black lives matter” without it turning into a debate. The statement doesn’t require anything more than an affirmative head nod or the occasional, “damn straight.”
∎ More food trucks. What’s not to love, really? Get with it, Western Mass.
∎ More dancing! This is not an unrealistic wish. Please, venues, hear our prayers. (Allure and Club 121, we see you out there!)
∎ For it to be safe and healthy to swim all stretches of the Connecticut River and combined sewer overflow to be a thing of the past.
∎ Legalize marijuana. All the other cool states are doing it.
∎ More music venues. So many great musicians, but not enough spaces!
∎ Real commuter rail service to arrive so we can ditch our cars and take the train into the sunset.
∎ A unified theory of women’s pants sizes. And while we’re on the subject: women’s pants with useful pockets, hot shoes that don’t mangle feet and knees over time, death to pantyhose, standard cup sizes, underwear that lies flat, and fashion designers more interested in fitting clothes to women than insisting women fit the clothes.
∎ More Pie Bar!
∎ A warm wind-less day for the Springfield Balloon Parade.
∎ Adding another cheese curd stand at the Big E.
∎ Downtown Westfield finally gets pedestrian-friendly right.
∎ The Springfield Community Police Hearing Board meetings to be broadcast on public access TV.
∎ A permanent home for the Western Massachusetts Correctional Alcohol Center, aka Howard Street.
∎ Protesters to understand the vast majority of journalists don’t take sides. We’re not all Bill O’Reillys and Don Lemons.
∎ A moratorium on caps lock.
Share your wishes for the Valley in 2016 on the Advocate’s Facebook page.•
Contact the Advocate at editor@valleyadvocate.com.
