At a concert a bit ago, I was dancing in the front row when the familiar aroma of bright piney buds wafted by. It didn’t take long to find the source, as a friendly gorilla finger was passed down the line. The sweaty dude in the neon pink fluorescent cap exhaled a big billowing cloud before handing me the joint. Almost a roach at this point, I put it to my lips and got a mouthful of tar. As I spat sticky clumps of resin onto the dirt, I thought there’s got to be a better way; a better, less hack-inducing way to consume weed.
And there is! The ways a person can take marijuana have expanded far beyond the J. Not every new way to take a hit is a winner — metal pipes are garbage — but some methods are better at protecting stoners from the coughs, throat and finger burns, and nastiness than others.
Marijuana isn’t a harmless drug, it’s more like harm-lite.
According to the 30-40 scientific studies performed on the drug in North America — can you believe there hasn’t been more? — weed contains some of the same carcinogens as can be found in tobacco, but much to the medical community’s surprise there has been no correlation found between smoking weed and lung cancer. Some researchers even hypothesize that the THC in marijuana prevents cancerous cells from dividing, stopping the spread of disease.
The heat and smoke produced by burning and consuming marijuana has been shown, however, to damage the XX in your throat and lungs, apparatus that catch dirt, dust, and disease from entering the lungs. Having these operating at less than 100 percent makes the body more susceptible to getting sick. The damage abates once the smoker puts the pipe down.
And finally, the research around marijuana’s effect on people’s mental states is unreliable. Studies show that people with mental illness are more likely to smoke weed than people who do not have the same afflictions. The studies cannot say whether the mental illness is caused or exasperated by weed, just that struggling people like pot. We didn’t need a study to prove that. It is true, however, that in some people marijuana can cause paranoia and anxiety and for those people I suggest not taking weed in any form. The scientific community has also been surprised to learn that smoking marijuana as an adult does not seem to produce any long term effects on thought process or memory. A XX study did link early pot smoking with lower IQs among teens, but it’s likely kids under 18 who are smoking pot aren’t getting all the support and supervision they need for healthy development.
So, those are the nasty potential side effects of smoking weed — I’m going to say that any other side effects are desirable — now let’s check out what the best way to avoid them.
Water pipes, aka bubblers, bongs, and hookahs: These are probably the most readily accessible and healthier ways to smoke pot. Typically, in a water piece, the marijuana is packed into a bowl that leads into a small reservoir of water. When lit, the smoke is pulled through the bowl and the water as the user inhales. This trip through the water rids the smoke of any hot ash or resin and cools it down a little so the heat from the fire doesn’t roast your throat. Some people say that the water also strips THC from the smoke, making it necessary to smoke more pot to get the same high — and the extra use negates the benefits of the water. But I’ve gotten pretty ripped off a single bong hit, so, I dunno.
Pipes, glass, wood, metal: Pipes are the most common tool people use to smoke marijuana, according to XX. The longer the pipe, that is the more tube between your face and the bowl, the less ash and heat will reach your throat. Ya’ll have already been put on notice about my feelings toward metal pipes, they’re gross. The first few times you smoke out of one, everything tastes fine. But soon, no matter how kind the buds, all you’ll be able to taste is resin and aluminum. Wood pipes pose a similar problem, but instead of aluminum, you taste wood ash. It’s glass pipe or bust — of course, it is also more likely that your glass pipe will bust before a metal or wooden one would. Go for the Pyrex pieces, they’re more expensive, a small one goes for about $50. To prove it’s Pyrex the guy selling it to you should offer a demonstration of its strength by hammering the pipe on the counter. If he refuses to do this, the pipe is not worth the extra money.
Joints and blunts: Here’s a surprise for you: smoking joints and blunts can be healthier for you than smoking out of a pipe. That’s because the end of the joint acts as a filter, not a great one, but a filter none the less. It catches resin and ash as well as the carcinogens being produced by the smoldering head. All of these benefits, however, are moot if you smoke the roach.
Steam rollers and recyclers: These are smoking devices that include various chambers for the smoke to collect, which is great for cooling down smoke-heat before inhaling.
One hitters, bats, and chillums: These are the worst offenders for your throat and lungs because of the small size of the pipe — usually about 2-3 inches — it’s a direct shot of fire and singed weed into your lungs. Only use one of these when stealth is of the utmost importance.
Dab and wax: Dabbing is one of the newest ways for people to consume marijuana. Dabs are THC concentrate — the collected goo, or Rosin, that oozes out of a bud when it is heated and heavily pressed. While the corporate way of making dabs uses butane, at-home dabbers typically use a hair straightener to extract the oil. Once you’ve got your goo, you heat up a very small bit of it and inhale the vapor. Because of the low heat, lack of ash, and minor amount of smoke a stoner is inhaling, dabs are one of the healthiest way to get high — for your lungs. If you don’t know what you’re doing, dabs are not healthy for your head. The oil is a super-high concentration of THC, which has been known to produce “bad trips” for people who get too high.
Tinctures: These are for medical marijuana consumers only, as I have no idea how else you’d get a hold of one, or why you’d want to take it. Tinctures are the product of dissolving weed in alcohol. For the most part, they are intended to give the user the benefit of THC, but not the high.
Edibles and drinks: Cooking marijuana in butter or oil to extract the THC and then mixing the canna-butter/oil into food is a longstanding technique for getting stoned without harming your lungs. It’s an easy process and comes with the same warning as the dabs: be careful, you never know how strong an edible will hit you.
Vaporizers: Marijuana vaporizers have been around for decades, but are just now becoming popular. The apparatus here uses a coil to heat up the cannabis and turn it into a mist that is then inhaled. They are your best choice for healthy pot consumption because of the low heat, lack of smoke, and variety of smokables. Many vaporizers can handle buds and dabs. The problem with vaporizers is you have to keep them charged up and you have to invest a bit of money to purchase one. Whereas a roll of Zig Zags goes for $1, a decent vaporizer starts around $80, cheap ones are about $50.
Because it is a drug, no method of consuming marijuana is 100 percent safe; there are concerns about lung health and your mental state to consider. But knowing how methods of consuming impact you, can provide you with the ability to make the kindest choice for you.•
Kristin’s not here, man. But you can contact her at editor@valleyadvocate.com.
