On the early morning of Jan. 2 a thief entered Cafe 33 in Copenhagen, Denmark, which houses one of the largest collections of vodka in the world — more than 1,200 bottles. Captured in black and white security camera footage, the thief was only after one bottle — a diamond encrusted bottle of Russo-Baltique vodka worth $1.3 million, which is now missing. According to the BBC, the bottle was on loan from Dartz, a Latvian automobile company, and was on display for six months before the caper. No suspects have been found at this time, but police suspect that the vodka thief had a key.
Hoo Next?
A spate of recent owl attacks has ruffled the feathers of metropolitan Atlanta’s residents. Local news outlets report there have been at least three instances of owls attacking humans or pets since
late December, most recently in the heart of Midtown. Serrita Holt says her Yorkie, Freedom, was killed following a Dec. 23 attack. The next week, Deborah Johnson was scratched on her leg and knocked over by a large owl attacking her dachshund. And on Wednesday, Eric Thornton says an owl swooped down as he left his townhouse, cutting his head. Atlanta Audubon Society spokesman Adam Betuel says owl attacks are rare, but recent cold weather might have made younger birds more aggressive.
Voicemail Tattoo
A woman in Chicago has an unusual tattoo of an audio soundwave pattern under her left collarbone. The tattoo is the soundwave pattern from the last voicemail she received from her grandmother, who wished her a happy birthday before she passed away three years ago. The tattoo isn’t just symbolic; when paired with a phone app that uses Skin Motion technology, a photo of the soundwave can be scanned and can actually play the voicemail by reading the tattoo.
Eight-Forked Serpent Rice Mural
Every year, the village of Inakadate in Japan uses seven different kinds of rice to create large-scale rice paddy art, which has been a boost to tourism since the early 1990s. Every April, a conference takes place to decide a theme for next year’s rice mural — a process that often takes up to three months to finalize. Each 15,000-square-meter mural often celebrates local heritage and folklore. This year’s theme is the legend of Yamata no Orochi, the eight-forked serpent, fighting against the Shinto god of sea and storms, Susanno.
Renaissance Aged Vine
Who knew grape vines could live for more than 400 years? The Old Vine, in Maribor, Slovenia, is the oldest grape-producing vine in the world, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. It was planted more than 400 years ago, survived a Turkish invasion of the city, sieges, a parasite that plagued nearby vines in the 19th century, and Allied bombing that destroyed nearby buildings during World War II. The vine wraps around the outside of its own museum, where visitors can learn about the city’s wine heritage and sample drinks in the wine tasting room. Every year, there’s an annual festival to celebrate the vine’s grape harvest, which yields enough grapes to produce 100 bottles of wine.
What an Ice Kid
It’s been cold in Massachusetts, but we haven’t noticed anyone with frozen hair yet. That’s not the case in Xinjie Township, China, where a 10-year-old dubbed “Snowflake Boy” showed up to his third grade class with a head full of icy white, MetroUK reports. The school’s headmaster, Fu Heng, who took a photo of the boy that has since gone viral, said “that the boy lives a fair distance from the school, and that he is known as the ‘class clown’, always finding a way to make his 16 classmates laugh.”
Open and Shut Situation
You’ve heard the stories of homeowners associations that make even the five millenials who are able to buy a home think twice about doing so, and your days of hearing them are certainly coming to a middle. One HOA in Auburn, California, apparently sick of people living in garages, demanded that residents keep their garage doors open from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. or a face a $200 fine, the Sacramento Bee reports. That requirement was rescinded Tuesday, but not before it opened a door to numerous resident complaints to local and national media. In defense, one landlord points out that garage doors aren’t even supposed to exist at all in the community, and what homeowners have mistaken for garages are in fact open carports that are HOA community property. Yeah, none of this is making us feel better about HOAs.
It’s a Conspiracy
Apparently Charlie Daniels (whom you know primarily from that one song with the Devil and the fiddler, and secondarily from wearing cowboy hats approximately three times the size of Mount 
Tom) might have benefited from tinfoil lining on those hats, as he has some deep concerns regarding Taco Bell’s commercials making fun of the Illuminati, The Wrap reports. After watching everyone’s favorite after-2-a.m. fast food run’s newest commercial, “Belluminati,” Daniels — presumably after consulting his cousin Jack — tweeted a cautionary “Hey Taco Bell The Illuminati is not a frivolous subject.” Well, apparently it’s a delicious one.
Gritty Art
Step back, all would-be wits who write “wash me” in the dust and mud on cars. A British gas engineer has upped the mud-car-art game ante with realistic portraits of boxers, films, musicians and more. Ranging from stormtroopers from Star Wars to Pennywise the Clown to a somber scene from the trenches of World War I, the art looks like it belongs in a museum, not on the back of a van. “Hopefully it’s a dry enough day without too much moisture in the air, otherwise you pull too much dirt off,” artist James Gibson told the BBC.
Seemed a Little Flat
We’re all used to politicians whose excuses for their actions are so thin as to be unbelievable, but that’s usually a euphemism. It was, instead, literally true for Thailand’s prime minister, Prayuth Chan-ocha, who left a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself to answer press questions after a political event, according to the AP. Well, at least he wasn’t fondling a sound technician’s ear, flinging banana peels at cameramen, or “humorously” threatening to execute dissenting media — wait, he’s done that before, too? Our bad.
Have an idea for bizarro briefs? Send it to deisen@valleyadvocate.com.
