Naked lunch … er … dinner

A family from Fortuna, California, came home to unexpected — and unwanted — visitors. After returning from dinner last week, the family found two naked strangers that had broken into the household and made themselves a little too comfortable. Police officers arriving on the scene discovered the woman cooking in the kitchen and staring into a cupboard, while a man was found in the bathroom indulging in a bath. Both were arrested and booked into jail for burglary. A resident of the home discovered one of the intruder’s phones, which contained selfies of the perpetrators inside the house, and subsequently posted them online to her Facebook.

Battery-powered spa retreat 

Police in Texas are searching for a woman who used a battery-powered grinding saw to break into a medical spa in order to steal anti-aging products. “She looks like the average soccer mom in a Mercedes,” said an employee from the medical spa after reviewing surveillance footage. As captured in the security video, the woman attempts to open the door to the spa unsuccessfully around 8:45 p.m. on a recent August night. She then returns with a grinding saw that she uses to break down the door, walk in, and make off with the goods.

Don’t forget to flush

A Florida man faces a felony aggravated assault charge after he allegedly threatened the homeowner of a house in Hudson, a town about 30 miles north of Tampa. The cause of the dispute? The homeowner apparently was annoyed that his visitor had used his toilet and then failed to flush, and when he called him on it, the 46-year-old suspect threatened to “chop” the homeowner with a machete, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s office. The victim called 911, and when officers arrived on the scene, they found a machete on the lawn; the weapon belonged to the suspect, who claimed he’d had to use it for self-defense. He later gave a statement to police that seemed to sum up the situation all too well: “Shit happens.”

Smoky Mountain mascot 

Here we observe, in its natural habitat, the humble dung beetle, which rarely is celebrated for its bizarre penchant for eating literal shit. Until now. The Great Smoky Mountains National Park celebrated the poop devouring efforts of the dung beetle this past week. The insect specializes in moving balls of feces around the park and buries them for later like a squirrel storing a nut. The practical upshot is that the beetles help keep the park’s trails clean and aid in the decomposition process.

Lift a finger 

A strongman from Georgia (the Eastern European country, not the state) has most likely set a new world record. The man used only a single finger to pull a 220-ton boat about 16 feet. A video shows the strongman using a rope tied around his middle finger to pull an ocean tug boat the 16-foot distance. According to the Georgian Records Federation, the attempt was a national record for heaviest boat pulled with a single digit. Evidence from the feat is being submitted to Guinness World Records.

The Million Dollar Ham 

A 16-pound country ham wrapped in a ribbon and laid out on a bed of roses was the winner of best ham at the Kentucky State Fair and was auctioned off to the highest bidder at the Kentucky Farm Bureau’s annual ham breakfast and auction … for $1 million. Within a matter of seconds the award-winning ham reached bids in the hundreds of thousands. When bids reached $900,000, the bid’s auctioneer said, “We left common sense long behind.” Five minutes later the ham was sold for a million bucks to Central Bank and the bank’s president and CEO. Last year, the same bank president and CEO combined his own bid of $1.4 million with an equal amount from a competing bidder to buy another award-winning ham for $2.8 million.