By CAROLYN BROWN
Staff Writer
Finding love is all about finding someone on your wavelength. A radio show at the University of Massachusetts Amherst wants to help the local queer community make romantic connections, one guest DJ at a time.
“I’ve always loved connecting people,” says DJ Bucky Downtown, the host of “Queer Yenta Radio Hour,” which broadcasts from UMass Amherst. “And if I find out that two friends have a crush on each other, I’m always like, ‘How can I meddle? How can I get them to talk to each other?’” COURTESY BECCA NEUBARDT
On the show “Queer Yenta Radio Hour,” which broadcasts live from WMUA 91.1 FM every other Saturday from 6:30 to 8 p.m, a guest DJ who’s looking for love plays some of their favorite music and chats with the host, DJ Bucky Downtown, about themselves, their interests, and what they want in a relationship.
DJ Bucky Downtown, whose real name is Becca Neubardt, isn’t a UMass student herself; she graduated from Mount Holyoke College in 2013, but the school offers community members the opportunity to learn broadcasting skills and host their own shows, which is how she got involved at the station.
The show takes its name from the Yiddish word “yenta,” meaning a “meddler” or a “busybody,” and each episode starts off with a clip from the song “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” from the musical “Fiddler on the Roof,” which features a matchmaker character called Yente. DJ Bucky is Jewish, but her idea for the show’s name came more from a longstanding love of helping people make connections. (Incidentally, she’s also not single.)
“I’ve always loved connecting people, and if I find out that two friends have a crush on each other, I’m always like, ‘How can I meddle? How can I get them to talk to each other?’ But also for other types of connections, too. I love to connect people for friendship, for jobs, for, ‘Oh, you’re moving to a new city. I know someone there.’”
Being a yenta, she said, is “kind of like a way of community care, where you’re trying to connect the people that you care about to each other.”
So, how does “Queer Yenta Radio Hour” work?
First, interested guest DJs fill out a Google Form via the show’s LinkTree. It asks basic questions: name, pronouns, location, age, relationship status (polyamorous people with partners are welcome, but priority goes to single people), etc. Guests also have to explain what they’re looking to get out of the show — dates, friends, hookups, etc. — and how they identify their sexuality and gender.
Next, DJ Bucky does a screening call to get a feel for the guest and their interest in being on the show, then meets with them in person to talk further about how it works, what they want listeners to know about them, what they want in a potential partner, their playlist, etc.
Each guest is identified by an ocean-themed DJ name, like “DJ Stingray,” “DJ Poseidon,” or “DJ Shrimp Cocktail.” (Why an ocean theme? Because the guest is the “catch of the week.”)
DJ Bucky Downtown (whose real name is Becca Neubardt) hosts “Queer Yenta Radio Hour,” a matchmaking radio show for LGBTQ people broadcast from WMUA at UMass Amherst. COURTESY BECCA NEUBARDT
Then the guest goes on the show, is interviewed live on-air and plays through their playlist. Listeners can call in to express their interest, but they can also fill out another Google Form (headed “Reel Me In, Baby!”) to shoot their shot — that is, show interest and pitch themselves — in the hopes of a connection.
Any adult is eligible as long as they meet the criteria: they must identify as queer in some way, they must live in western Mass, and they must be willing to record their episode in person in the studio. Also: no cops.
Participants don’t even have to be UMass students – in fact, DJ Bucky said, most aren’t: “The UMass students are shy!”
As of this writing, there have been 15 guests over two semester-long seasons, and DJ Bucky has gotten more than 100 total applicants. The show is on a hiatus right now because of the college’s winter break, but she expects it’ll be back in February — perhaps in time for Valentine’s Day.
In an age where dating apps are free and plentiful and offer the immediate gratification of swiping and matching, the appeal of dating through a radio show, where a guest may not make a connection until much later, may seem unclear. Yet for DJ Bucky, the pacing is exactly the point: “Who doesn’t love a slow burn?”
In fact, a distaste for dating apps is exactly what draws a lot of the show’s guests: they find the apps superficial and useless, and being on a radio show gives them an antidote to endless swiping.
“For people who are listening live, they are paying attention to the sound of the person’s voice,” said DJ Bucky. “They’re paying attention to their music taste. They’re paying attention to their sense of humor, how they answer questions, the value of their words, and not just, ‘Am I immediately attracted to this person’s photograph?’ I think there’s a depth that Queer Yenta offers that a dating app cannot.”
DJ Merqueen (who also requested to be identified as Lulu, no last name, because of her job) appeared on the show’s first episode, which aired on Feb. 10. She agreed that a radio show gives you a better sense of a potential match than a digital dating profile: “I’m a vibes guy and I think it is easier to convey vibes in a conversation, even if the conversation is on the radio.” Likewise, she felt that getting ready for the show “gave me clarity about what I had to offer and also about what I was looking for.”
DJ Bucky Downtown, front, takes a selfie with DJ Merqueen, the guest DJ on the first episode of “Queer Yenta Radio Hour.” COURTESY BECCA NEUBARDT
Though her own experience on the show didn’t lead directly to any romantic connections, Lulu’s now-girlfriend listened to her episode a few months after the two started dating, and “it helped them fall in love with me because our values were so aligned.”
DJ Starfish (aka Kendra Corrie) had a similar experience: though she didn’t make romantic connections directly because of the show, she sent a link to her episode to some people she met after the fact, which was “a fun and effective way to secure a couple extra super fun dates.”
Corrie is a stand-up comedian in her 40s who calls herself a “late-in-lifer” — that is, someone who came out of the closet later in life than most. Being on “Queer Yenta Radio Hour” appealed to her as a performer; it combined “the medium of a structured show, with a more personal, vulnerable, authentic side of me.” She, too, had found the apps dismaying, and she was ready to date again after “a long healing hiatus.” A radio show seemed like a fun option for making matches: “I’m kind of an unconventional person, so I’m open to meeting my person through unconventional methods.”
Even when guests don’t make connections directly from the show, DJ Bucky says that just taking part in it boosts their confidence.
“Being on the show could translate to dates, it could translate to love, it could translate to a spicy hookup or friendship,” she said. “But it’s also an opportunity for my guests to dive deep inside themselves and get really clear on what they’re looking for and stretch that muscle of putting themselves out there, even when it’s nerve-wracking.”
The show, she said, is “so much bigger than just, ‘How many dates have come about from this?’ It’s also, for me, very much about community and connection and positive, joyful queer representation.”
Carolyn Brown can be reached at cbrown@gazettenet.com.
