Missed this when I was out–Burger King's Flame "fragrance,"complete with weirdly hairy King mascot in front of a fire. Gives me the shivers, personally. And doesn't make a Whopper sound any more appetizing than the burned pile of extruded multi-cow goo it already is. (As a Texan, I'm carnivorous, but I like to have hamburgers only when I have written evidence that the cow voted Democratic, hob-nobbed with livestock of a certain hygiene level, and proudly owned at least one Bob Wills CD.)
I guess they're trying to be funny in a sort of postmodern way. But the problem, of course, is that when you're Burger King, you can't do satire because, well, you're Burger King and therefore terminally lame. It's like Gary Coleman at 35 years old going "Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?" You're not laughing with him, you're laughing at him, because he's Gary Coleman and the poor guy is trapped in the persona he created for a bad TV show in the 70s. Not to disparage Gary Coleman, who's far cooler than Burger King and should run for some sort of local office or something. It's just not funny when Burger King tries to get all wry about its image, just like how Christian rock can never, ever, ever "rock."
On the other hand, as a colleague said, this is a great way to encourage bear attacks. So that's good. One wonders why, in order to create a homegrown concoction that combines, as this claims to, "the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat," the earnest carnivorous bachelor wouldn't just mix up a jar of sweat and Drakkar Noir and top off by rubbing down with a steak. That could attract a lot of collies.
One adopter of this fine scent explained, "It's a combination of Axe body spray, TAG and this YSL cologne I have." So sign me up for several cases, there, Vanilla Ice.
The best news is probably that, if this catches on, we'll have a ready way to identify idiots at a safe distance.
*apparently
