Gentle reader, I humbly beseech thee: proffer thine assistance. You see, it’s getting tough to keep straight who’s a turrist and who’s not. Not to mention who’s giving in to the turrists by thinking the wrong thoughts. The bellwether has been our boy Dick Cheney for a long time, but lately things have gotten more complicated. It used to be easy. Here are a few quotes to remind you:
From a CNN story, 1/14/07: Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel, for example, said last week he feared Bush’s plan would be the worst foreign policy blunder since the Vietnam War. Responding to that, Cheney said the most dangerous blunder would be to give up on the global fight against terrorism because the United States has decided the war in Iraq is too difficult. That is just what America’s terrorist enemies are counting on, he said.
From another CNN story, 9/7/2004: A November win by Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry would put the United States at risk of another "devastating" terrorist attack, Vice President Dick Cheney told supporters Tuesday.
Well, of course Kerry must be encouraging the turrists–otherwise would he be almost as tall as OSAMA BIN LADEN??
Here’s a fun one, from a 8/28/06 VFW speech: "I know some have suggested that by liberating Iraq from Saddam Hussein, we simply stirred up a hornet’s nest. They overlook a fundamental fact: We were not in Iraq on September 11th, 2001, and the terrorists hit us anyway."
Come to think of it, we weren’t in Finland on Sept. 11, either. Kinda makes you think.
Here’s Dick on Meet the Press, Sept. 11, 2006: "So you look at the situation today in Afghanistan or even in Iraq, and you’ve got people who have doubts. They want to know whether or not if they stick their heads up, the United States, in fact, is going to be there to complete the mission. And those doubts are encouraged, obviously, when they see the kind of debate that we’ve had in the United States, suggestions, for example, that we should withdraw U.S. forces from Iraq, simply feed into that whole notion, validates the strategy of the terrorists."
But today in the Washington Post, Nouri al-Maliki, Prime Minister of Iraq confused the heck out of patriots everywhere with this:
[Maliki] took exception to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s Senate testimony last week that Maliki’s administration was on "borrowed time." The prime minister said statements such as Rice’s "give morale boosts for the terrorists and push them toward making an extra effort and making them believe they have defeated the American administration," Maliki said.
Mr. Maliki has made it nearly impossible to tell who’s a turrist with this statement. There was this guy at Dunkin Donuts this morning who looked pretty shifty, and he came inside after he had already driven a Volvo through the drive-through. I was about to report him to DHS, but now I’m kind of glad I didn’t.
So I’m humbly asking, if there are any turrists out there reading this, could you please come forward to explain? What is it that emboldens the turrist? Is it every time somebody orders bacon on a cheeseburger or not? If a Democrat puts on clogs in the forest, does Bin Laden hear it?
