A brilliant idea, prompted by the musings of one Tom Sturm. The Rebubblicans keep sayings the Democrats don’t have any ideas, but this’ll stop ’em dead in their tracks.
You can have the troop surge. We want a troop Serge, as in French pop star Serge Gainsbourg:
It would probably be plenty just to send in Gainsbourg albums to stun the insurgents into an extended state of ennui, during which they would all smoke cigarillos, develop really watery eyes and await nightfall, when they could haunt small cafes and write about their feelings in little moleskin journals. And presto, no more IEDs! Instead, we’d find CDs hidden in the mine casings, full of Arabic-accented French pop songs. Troops home by July.
Since she’s, like, somewhat attractive, we could send her in with Gainsbourg, draped across a litter carried by the Third Infantry Division. One peep of trouble, and they just unveil a scantily clad Bardot. Everyone weeps at her curves, turns in their AK-47s and goes home to a dark room, so that their eyes will never become polluted by seeing a lesser vision of beauty. Troops home by June.
Who’s the party of ideas now, John Boehner?
Even more pork news
Today, January 17, is the feast day of St. Anthony Abbot, patron saint of pigs and, among other things, skin diseases, gravediggers and ergotism.
Why do skin diseases get a patron saint? Can patron saints apply for more delicate duties if they continue the saintly behavior? So many questions.
