Jake is writing this romance novel to help weather the economy. I am helping him by typing it.

CHAPTER ONE!

Cage (that is jake backwards by the way), who was staggeringly handsome, stood on the launchpad looking at the rocket abt to get launched on the first Canadian space mission to Mars.

Something did not seem right to Cage, the swooningly gorgeous man-astronaut. Cage was an American astronaut who had come to Canada to scope out CLASP, the Canadian League of Aerospace Programs. It was a topsecret mission, so Cage was disguised as a hockey player. Looking at the rocket abt to launch, Cage smelled something fishy. He squinted w/ his icily handsome blue and brown eyes.

As he squinted at the rocket, he thot abt his mission. Back in the good ol' US of A, he had met w/ General Mills, who thumped his fist on his big wooden desk and said, "Cage, we need to find out why CLASP is so eager to get to Mars! What is CLASP up to? It has to be something, Cage!"

Cage remembered saying to Gen. Mills, "Do you think it has anything to do w/ the giant health care beam they are making up at the North Pole? Are they going to fly that health care beam to Mars & turn it on the good ol' US of A?"

Gen. Mills bit his lip. "That is what we are afraid of, Cage. We cannot let CLASP gets a foothold on Mars and turn that health care beam on the planet! It is up to you to get to the bottom of this, Cage! Nobody else can do it!"

Cage remembered how he nodded to Gen. Mills. He had done reconnaissance (it took me abt 10 tries to spell that right) work up in Canada before, so it made sense for Gen. Mills to pick him. He saluted the general and turned to go.

"One more thing, Cage," said the general.

Cage looked at the general. "What is it, sir?"

The general shook his head. "By God, you are a handsome man, Cage. But for the sake of the future of the country and the insurance industry, when you are on this dangerous and secret mission, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!"

Cage snapped to attention. "I will do my best, sir."

"There is one other thing too, Cage."

"What is that, sir?"

"DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

Cage saluted one last time. "You can count on me, General. Nobody will fall in love with me on this mission."

The general smiled. "I knew I could count on you, Cage."

Back on the launch pad, Cage watched a big truck loading something into the side of the rocket. It had lots of stickers on it that said TOP SECRET… Was it the health care ray?

Then Cage looked at the Canadian astronauts making their way to the rocket. There were four of them & they each waved a big canadian flag. In the front was his nemesis, Dr. Horton. He was followed by two other astronauts, neither of who were anywhere near as handsome as Cage. Behind them came… wait a minute! Was that SIMONE!

Cage's heart fell at the same time as it rose. His mission had just got more difficult!

To BE CONTINUED!