You call the WWII Club “The Deuce”
You have male friends who wear clogs
You know why the guy at Joe’s Pizza is wearing a sombrero
You miss Pleasant Street Theater
You’ve taken a side in the “Hamp” v. “Noho” debate
You see a man in a dress on the street and it ain’t no thang
You’ve gone sledding at Hospital Hill
You’ve practiced at a half-dozen yoga studios and are not even halfway through the list — also, you say “practice” yoga without a trace of self-consciousness
You’ve put money in guitarist Daniel Evans’ cup
You’ve kissed a girl
You wave to the cars that stop for you as you use the crosswalk
You may not vote for Hilary because she’s too moderate
You’re not sure you have a car underneath your bumper stickers anymore and at least one of them is a Coexist sticker
You can’t tell your silver Prius apart from all the other ones
You’ve ordered — and enjoyed — a vegan meal from a restaurant
You’ve met Kim Gordon
You’re friends with at least one somewhat-famous musician
You’ve never been to the Starbucks on Main Street
You’re not embarrassed to ask the waiter whether the eggs came from cage-free chickens
You think “Buy Local” is more than a slogan, it’s a way of life
You work a second job to support your espresso habit
You’ve marched down Main Street under a rainbow flag
You’ve done all of your Christmas shopping at Faces
You know what “sex positive” means
You think a bar with fewer than 20 beer taps seems skimpy
You’ve sat too close to someone at the communal table at Northampton Coffee
You’ve been invited to a potluck at the UU
You’ve seen a show at Pearl Street
You know where the “dog park” is
You think Portlandia is a documentary
You’ve attended a protest on Main Street
You know the ball falls up
Tres precious!
Your phone has been wiretapped…
You know you’re from Northhampton if the only way you can achieve orgasm is by walking in front of a moving car very slowly for no reason at all. And can you convince yourself that somehow your very selfish act has made some kind of a statement.