Babies seem determined to destroy the very thing that created them: your sex life. Yes, they’re awfully adorable. But don’t let the googoos and gagas fool you—even the baby talk itself can and will be used against you.
Luckily, with a few choice toys, a commitment to adaptability and the hot-mama manual Your Orgasmic Pregnancy by Fulbright and Cavallucci (hunterhouse.com), you can have high sexpectations. Even when you’re expecting.
As soon as that pee-stick turns up positive, start your pregnancy off with healthy habits like balanced eating and regular exercise to keep sexual energy levels up. While you’ll notice little physical difference during the first trimester, Fulbright and Cavallucci say, starting with a bang (not a binge) can keep the sexual fireworks sizzling.
During months four and six, the co-authors say, most physical changes happen, so preggie partner may struggle with her new (rounder) self-image. Embrace new curves as a fresh sexual experience, splurging on outfits and sexcessories that make you feel good (even if they are a few sizes bigger).
A sex life during pregnancy is best maintained with communication and flexibility. As your body changes, so do your turn-ons, physical sexual response (think lube!) and desire levels, sometimes fluctuating with each trimester. While your old faithful sex routine may no longer do the trick, take this as an opportunity to experiment; positions or techniques that haven’t worked in the past may just do your pregnant body good. As pregnant indie pornstar Madison Young recently tweeted, “Wow! I ejaculate soo much easier and faster now that the weight of Emma’s head is putting pressure on my G-spot and my goods are all engorged!” Just be conscious of the difference between this and your water breaking.
The third trimester finds most moms-to-be in one of two sexual categories: hot as hell or cold as ice. Thaw the freeze with belly-friendly positions (illustrated in Fulbright and Cavullucci’s book), keeping hot mama off her back, which can get uncomfortable. On top, pregnant partner can control speed, depth and penetration by stopping, shifting or staying put. Lying on your side, put partner behind you for shallow, G-spot-hitting penetration or comfortably enjoy some Southern lip service with your top leg lifted onto a pillow.
A tried-and-true fertile favorite, Doggie Style should be re-named Stork Style, as it relieves aching pressure on the abdomen. Shake it up with The Cone (goodvibes.com), a self-standing, vibrating pyramid that you can strategically lie against during posterior penetration. If resting on your belly gets awkward later in pregnancy, support your midsection with a pillow or Liberator shape, triangular sex cushions specifically designed to ramp up positioning (liberator.com). For deeper penetration, try belly-boosting Sportsheets Doggie Style Strap (sportsheets.com).
Other things to stash in the diaper bag are the Hitachi Magic Wand (babeland.com), the notoriously strong vibe that’ll coax out the most stubborn clitoral orgasms, the Dialator Set (goodvibes.com), a vibe with four interchangeable shells to help ease into vaginal penetration post-birth, and Luna Beads (lelo.com), Kegel exercisers to help strengthen the pelvic floor for the great push or tighten your post-natal squeeze (for more on Luna Beads, see previous column PC Pilates).
Of course, your baby’s health takes priority over pleasure. Check in with you doctor about sexual dos and don’ts, clarifying activities like penetration, orgasm and anal sex. Certain STIs/STDs can be transmitted to baby so educate and protect yourself by using condoms, gloves and dental dams. For more information on pregnant safer sex, check out cdc.gov’s Sexually Transmitted Diseases webpage.
Post-baby, let new mama take the sexual reins. Follow your new addition’s lead and take baby steps. Seduce and woo. Light candles. Schedule sexy time. But please don’t call each other “Mommy” or “Daddy” (unless it’s a kinky thing, of course). Mommies” and daddies (in any combination) don’t eff-you-see-kay their brains out. They change diapers, argue over midnight feedings and other spit-up-covered activities. Yes, enjoy pregnancy, the miracle of birth, and parenting. Just remember that the cradle isn’t the only thing worth rocking.
