The giving season is upon us. And we generous sex partners love to give.
The thrifty side of me thinks the best sex-related gifts are porns or books about something you want to try with your sweetie (think Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes or The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-on Sex by Violet Blue). But the frivolous side of me thinks the holidays are a perfect excuse to bust out the credit card, that New Years isn’t complete without a sparkly accessory, and that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, especially when they adorn a vibrator.
Skip the annual fuzzy socks, lumpy sweaters and fruit cakes and save up to stuff something other than your stocking or light a fire somewhere other than the Menorah with these shiny, luxurious, (at times ridiculously) expensive high-end sex toys.
Njoy’s line of stainless steel toys are literally the heavy-weight champs of high-end accessories. Whether it be the one-and-a-half pound Pure Wand dildo or the half-pound Fun Wand, these sleek toys bring a unique sensation to penetration with a weightiness that hits the G-spot or P-spot (the prostate) in ways other toys just can’t muster.
The Pure Wand dildo features an extreme G-spot-friendly curve with two insertable ends: the Pure Anal Plug rocks into the P-spot with maximum pressure while the Fun Wand’s S-Curve design gives you the best of both worlds with one end made of graduated nobs that make perfect anal beads and the other hooked to hit the G-spot. The stainless steel doesn’t only look nice; non-porous and durable, it lasts forever, is disinfected with soap and water, and quickly changes temperature with body heat or ice water (njoytoys.com).
Match that holiday cocktail ring to your new Sparkle Plug, a stainless steel anal plug with a Swarovski crystal base to make the naughty look (and feel) extra nice (goodvibes.com).
For a unique gift, go for glass. Decorative as much as they are functional, colorful, and surprisingly affordable at under $150, glass dildos and anal plugs are usually handmade so no two are the same. Though lighter than stainless steel, glass toys pack a silky-smooth (and yes, super-strong and virtually unbreakable) extra oomph that’s perfect for G-spot and P-spot stimulation. Check out hand-held Spectral dildos or the Moon Anal Plug (goodvibes.com).
Keep the sophisticated gentlemen in your life solid as gold with Babeland’s 14-karat Gold Cock Ring. It will have him looking (and acting) like the king of the bedroom. Un-flexible and un-adjustable, this ring is best for the more ring-experienced (check out past column Feeling Cocky for extra cockring advice).
Get matchy-matchy with your man with the JimmyJane Eternity vibrator in Little (24-karat) Gold or Little Platinum. Decorated with conflict-free diamonds, this one-speed vibrator stimulates the clit or can be inserted for subtle G-spot play. Waterproof, temperature-transmitting and just plain pretty, this toy boasts a three-year warranty and a patented replaceable motor that makes it the gift that keeps on giving (jimmyjane.com).
What recession? Drop anywhere from $1,190 to $13,000 and you could pay off a healthy chunk of your student loans—or be the proud owner of an uber-luxurious toy from Lelo’s Luxe line of 18-karat gold- or steel-plated toys. Earl the butt plug will look wonderful next to that aforementioned solid gold cockring (and comes with matching cufflinks!); daintily discreet Yva the vibrator fits into the curve of your fingers for five modes of rechargeable clitoral stimulation; and Inez the insertable vibrator does all that and more with her penetration possibilities.
Make yourself the pretty little package for your partner to wrap up and untie with Lelo’s Sutra Chainlink Silk Cuffs, Boa Pleasure Ties (with freshwater pearl pouches) and Intima Blindfold, silk and suede bondage toys with extra-long ties to pull on, tease with or make the perfect bow on top (lelo.com).
Whoever said “the best things in life are free” clearly never had solid gold in their back door, freshwater pearls tied around their ankles, or (conflict-free!?) diamonds vibrating their clit. Am I right? Happy Holidays from The V-Spot!
