Hi Yana,
I have a question I’ve been wondering about (okay, obsessing about!) and I do not think I am alone in this one:
What does a man need to do about hair “down there”? I keep my pubic area trimmed but unsure what is the best and safest method for my scrotum. Any recommendations on products? Even considered getting it lasered, but I do not think I am up for that.
Does it even matter to most women or is this something men have mistakenly fixated on?
Thank you,
A Hairy Subject
Dear Hairy Subject,
I’m sure you’re not alone in wondering how to get just the right haircut for your most private of parts. The failings of the formal sex education system are many, and the lack of talk about what to do with our pubes is certainly one of them.
In sex ed, sexual hygiene is touched on mostly in terms of STIs/STDs transmission but otherwise, we don’t exactly get to chat about the various ways to coif our c*cks and c*nts. And though pubes are the hairy butt of many jokes, the way we upkeep our downstairs can be a big part of our sexual self confidence and self esteem.
It’s my opinion that what feels best to you is the most important but sexual interactions are not a one-way street so it can be nice to consider others’ thoughts about your thicket. I’ve seen all kinds of dirty bits with all kinds of hairstyles and not once have I felt turned off, repulsed, or even smug about someone else’s pube preferences. But that’s just me — hair is definitely something people can have OPINIONS about, whether it’s on your head, face, butt, or balls.
In fact, people have so many opinions about down-there hair that when I asked my Instagram followers to lend me their thoughts for this column, I got over 30 messages in under an hour. Here are just some of the responses to the question I posed, “Do you care about your partners’ ball hair?”:
“Yes, shaving your balls matters because ball hair traps stink. And don’t forget the crevices between your balls and your legs. Men could also do a little more in the ass crack area.”
“It doesn’t have to be a closer shave, but short enough that the hairs don’t get stuck in your teeth.”
“I love hair all over! Bush hair = clitoral stimulation for me!”
“It’s my partner’s choice if they want to shave or not. When they do, I appreciate that it feels nice and smooth in my hands… and mouth. But I also know that’s it’s VERY tricky for them to shave their balls and there probably isn’t an easy way to do it so I would totally understand if they decided to stop. It takes my partner forever to groom but I know they do it because it makes them feel good and that makes me happy.”
And then, because I myself do not own a pair of balls, I also asked followers to respond with any tips to trimming the testes tresses:
“My ex kept everything trimmed short with beard trimmers. The lady who does my bikini waxing has a lot of male clients, too. Seems if you want everything super tidy that’s the way to go.”
“Shave them in a hot bath with Coochy Cream [available at OhMy Sensuality Shop in Downtown Northampton] because it conditions. And ideally, don’t do it drunk.”
“Personally, I don’t care at all if my partner has pubic hair. But my partner’s advice (who has balls) is get them really cold so they shrivel up — makes shaving easier”.
“My partner says to pull the skin taut and shave very slowly, advice that also helped me be more thorough in making my outer labia nice and smooth as well.”
“My partner hates having hair on his balls. He only shaves once a week. He trims first, then takes a bath for twenty minutes to soften the skin, then shaves with a new razor and shaving lotion, and then powders with cornstarch afterwards.”
So, there you have it, Hairy Subject! Sounds like the resounding consensus is — your balls, your choice!
Yana Tallon-Hicks is a relationship therapist, sex educator, and writer living in the Pioneer Valley. You can find her work and her professional contact information on her website, yanatallonhicks.com.
