The V-Spot
The Life & Times of Mr. Condom
It’s not easy being a condom. You’re pressured to protect against STIs and pregnancy and get mega-blamed when you don’t. You plunge head-first into some shady places and then you’re tossed aside like common trash. And at your distinguished age!...'Til Lesbian Bed Death Do We Part
Apparently, the first thing you have to do when you’re initiated into the secret lesbian society, after cutting your hair into a faux-hawk, attending a Tegan & Sara concert and applying to Smith, is make funeral arrangements for your bed. Popular rumor and...Twelve Titillating Titty ?Toids
From the famous pink ribbon symbol to pink cleats on Monday night football (awww!), October has promoted the health and happiness of tatas everywhere with my all-time favorite color for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Here’s to the survivors, the fighters, the...15 Reasons for Women to Masturbate. Right Now.
Like peeing in the woods, it’ll always be anatomically easier for men to masturbate than it is for women. I’d love to think that this is the only reason that, to this day, a woman masturbating solo is practically unseen, unheard and unacknowledged by...Feeling Slap-Happy
Last night I ate six bowls of Rice Krispies. This represents half the number of orgasms I had 10 minutes prior, compliments of some stellar, dominant BDSM performances by my favorite male porn star James Deen on KinkOnDemand.com. It’s obvious why a few bowls of...Clit Chat: 14 Clitoral Factoids to Know
Factoid 1. The clitoris is the only part of the human body that exists solely for pleasure. Other pleasurable spots like the nipples, neck, tongue and penis all have at least one other function. 2. The clitoris is bashful, only revealing one-fourth of herself outside...Wait! How Do Lesbians Have Sex?
When my wife and I lived in South America, we really improved our Spanish. Most importantly, we learned that the slang word for “lesbian” (roughly equivalent to English’s “dyke”) is “tortillera.” This literally means “a...God Help Us Get Off
My Christian high school-attending wife’ll tell you I suck at religion. A born-and-bred apathetic atheist, I wouldn’t know the difference between a Catholic and a Protestant if God smote me with a lightning bolt himself. Because the Bible doesn’t...Cougars, Sugar Daddies and Cubs…Oh, My!
Cougars and sugar daddies pave the yellow brick road to Sexual Stereotypesville. While people can “understand” why an older woman might want the confidence boost and sexual stamina that comes with the attention of a much younger man, or how a rich dude...The Quest for the Holy O
What’s up, Yana! I have many questions for you, but here’s my first: I am… sexually inexperienced. I’m assuming you didn’t grow up in an Irish Catholic family, but I did, and, boy! We don’t talk about sex. I’m really just...Shiver Me Jimbers–10 Erectile Factoids
I love boners! Besides being the sponsors of many kinds of sex, they also have an amazing sense of spontaneity, making a boring situation like checking a book out of the library or waking up at a slumber party tons of awkward fun. Here’s to you, Mr. Bonerson,...How to Make a Gayby
My urges to wipe the snot off a stranger’s baby’s nose are practically unfightable. My womb aches. Unlike others struck by baby fever, I can’t just poke some holes in the condom and call it an “accident”—drats! Ladies making babies...In Your Dreams, Pervert!
I find it strange when my subconscious offers me a sex dream, especially after I spend most of my waking hours reading, writing, watching and talking sex. Like, hello, Subconscious—what else is there to tell me about sex that I haven’t thought about...
Meet Me at the River
I spent the last month asking longtime Valley residents what their favorite swimming hole is and why. A bit of a Valley swimming hole fanatic myself, I was surprised at the amount of new plunge-worthy places people spilled to me. But then I was promptly sworn to...Can?t Touch This
Dear V-Spot: I’m totally in love with my Hitachi Magic Wand. But I’m… worried… that it’s ruined me for all other sex. I use the high speed on my wand and that’s usually the only way I can come. Not only do I want to vary...How to Watch Porn
I often wax woefully philosophical in these columns about porn—mainly about how we (particularly women) have been culturally conditioned to think that watching porn is inherently wrong, desperate or weird, and that pornographic films are intrinsically degrading,...Give Yourself Good Head
The things Netflix Watch Instantly makes me do! This is now the second column inspired by this ridiculous show, Strange Sex. I apologize. Said inspirational episode follows Barbara Carrellas through her magical ability to achieve (and teach!)...Bye, Bye, Bi
Coming out as bisexual is like telling your parents that you want to be a princess when you grow up. Mommy might nod and tell you that’s a great, plausible choice that she accepts because she’s no bigot, but when you actually grow up, the only way...Help! My Libido?s Fallen and it Can?t Get Up!
Hi , Yana, My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and living together since August. When we first started dating, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He’s also the only guy I’ve been with that will make me come every time....Once a Cheater…
Wait three days to call after the first date. Don’t sleep together too soon. Encyclopedias have been devoted to “The Relationship Rules” and “Dump his ass!” is the cardinal rule of cheating, as if the love life you’ve built together...Flaux Jobs
Flaux job: A faux blow job. Or the act of sucking a silicone dildo as if you were giving a flesh-and-blood ding-a-ling a blow job. As in oral sex, head, BJs. You’re familiar with those, right? I thought so. For those familiar with the,...Would You Like Lube With That?
While I was working in sex toy stores, many catch phrases came out of my mouth. “Well, how big was your first butt plug?” “This dildo doesn’t attract cat hair.” “I don’t know, you should taste it.” But the most common...Our Boobs, Ourselves
I’m still waiting for my boobs. At fourteen, my female classmates were starting to bounce around the lacrosse field, and I was in my room with my breast—I mean best—friend, agonizing over a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves. (For those of you born...Navigating Dating
Dating and/or sleeping with a new person is exciting, but can be so hard sometimes! Let’s navigate the toughest obstacles together: Does s/he have herpes? Seriously though, does s/he? It’s a bit unrealistic to be a “Let’s go get tested at the...Our Bloodies, Ourselves
It all starts with “menarche,” the horrendous word for a young woman’s first period. In some cultures this is celebrated, and women get to laze around in pools of chocolate with their besties (read Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent). In others...Aphrodisiacs for a Sexier 2013
Now that we’ve all survived the end/beginning of the world on December 21st, we can get down to what’s really important—dieting for our New Year’s resolutions. This year, my diet’s going to be strict, and it’ll really work. Not...No Hormones, No Latex, No Babies?
I was on the birth control pill for several years, heterosexual years, of my young adult life. While other girls bloated and broke out, compliments of the little hormone bombs, I got a lighter, more predictable period with fewer cramps and clearer skin. My peers...When the (Love) Gloves Come Off…
If we all acted more like the BDSM (bondage, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism) community, we’d all have better sex. Not everyone needs to head to their local dungeon to improve their sex lives, but the BDSM community’s extreme attention to crucial...So You Want to Be a Feminist Porn Star
Why waste all those contortionist positions, screaming orgasms and impressive tricks you’ve got up your… sleeve… on your boring old partner (and free-of-charge!) when you could share it with the world (for pay!)? Doesn’t reading about...Hard Up for a Harness
Hello—Two questions: 1. Do you know of any places where one can rent (rather than buy) good porn? I remember the old Pride and Joy in Northampton used to have a video collection. 2. Can you give me the low-down on the pros and cons of harnesses? I’ve used...We Are the 98 Percent
The only condom that ever broke on me was a Trojan “Her Pleasure.” Because I didn’t yet understand that “my pleasure” was actually determined by my clitoris and not some barely detectable “ribs” on a condom, I felt doubly...Bad to the Bonin?
From the sloppiest of tongues to someone treating your clitoris like a freakin’ set of turntables, we all know that sex can just be bad. While drunken one-nighters are almost begging to be awful, even your long-term love can just suck in the sack. But sex is so...Growing Pains
Blame it on microwaves or those darn mini-skirts, but puberty is now hitting boys at age 9. Though erections happen throughout a boy’s life, starting in infancy—when those hormones start popping up, so does something else. During math class, when talking...Brief Business
One might think that selling your—ahem—well-worn undies to the online fetish community would be a lucrative snap—you buy a cheap pack of panties from Target, wear ‘em around for a couple days, toss ‘em in an envelope and get some cash...Thinkin' About Kinkin'
I once wrote a column called “Hanky Panky”(May 26, 2011) about the art of “flagging” and it caused quite a stanky. Flagging is when you put a bandana in your pocket to indicate your kink according to the bandana’s color. An example I gave...Working Out the Kinks
Coming out of the closet isn’t easy. Especially if yours is filled with whips, chains and mascot costumes (see last week’s “Thinkin’ About Kinkin'”). Whether you’re married or on the prowl, if you’ve got a fetish, you’re...Your Vagina and You
Vaginal discharge has been instilling cultural fear and has been used and abused as a lame cunnilingus hall-pass for far too long. I don’t know why these vag-phobic boys think their balls smell like a bunch of fresh-picked daises when we’re giving you blow...Ten Orgasm Are Better Than One
I’m pissed at you guys. I’m starting to think that I only write this column for my two loyal fans—my wife (obligatory) and Westfield Wonder Woman (WWW), the hopelessly sexually exploratory and loyal-as-lice V-Spot reader who’s managed to write...Boys in Bustiers
Every time you stop into Northampton’s sensuality shop Oh My, you learn something new. Even me. Today, I swung by to grab a quick bottle of lube and turns out, not only is there a new silicone vibrator that looks like a pink cherry-topped cupcake (cute and...The Great Bleeding Blizzard Sync-Up of 2013
I got my period on Saturday, February 9th. The same day the new moon started. The same day I spent three hours digging four cars out of my driveway that were buried under 26 inches of snow. With my partner—who also just started her period. The same day a friend...A Reader Gets RUFed
Dear V-Spot, I am a 20-something-year-old woman who loves having rough sex with lots of deep penetration. It feels so good in the moment, but sometimes up to a full 48 hours afterwards, I’m still feeling abdominal, lower back and vaginal pain from it all. I...Use Your Words
Kicking and screaming in the candy aisle never landed you those lollipops when you were a toddler, and it certainly won’t get you the sugar you crave in the adult candyland of sex, either. Use your words, dear, and maybe you’ll actually get the Jolly...Spit or Swallow?
Back in the 18th century, famed doctor and apparent blow job enthusiast Samuel-Auguste Tisot claimed that semen was a hyper-concentrated version of a man’s blood. He spread the sticky-icky rumor that losing one ounce of sperm was more debilitating than losing 40...Married and Cunnilingusless
Yana, Hope you’re well! I’m spending another night on the road in scenic Western Mass. at a local sports bar reading your column regarding multiple orgasms. I felt right at home until I realized that you meant in one session,not a calendar year. I’m...Your Penis: The Long and Short of It
As someone who’s sold sex toys to all kinds of people, I’ve learned one thing for sure: size matters. Size is definitely a top-three priority for those considering what’s going to feel best inside their vagina/butt/mouth. Sex toy store...The Semenette
For a woman, sleeping with people with lady parts has many perks. A partner who knows exactly where my clitoris is (and how to use it), no “spit or swallow,” no “I can’t get it up” and—most conveniently—zero risk of pregnancy....Say My Name
I grew up in a small, quaint Massachusetts Hilltown that has one church, one elementary school, and a tiny country store-post office-gas station that typically closes before sunset and has been known to hang a hand-printed cardboard sign over its sole gas pump that...Flip Your Switch
Somehow you don’t totally botch picking up a sexy stranger in a bar, and the two of you go back to your place. You’re showing her your book collection (conveniently located in your room) when suddenly your brainy hotness magnetizes your new friend’s...The Ultimate Sex Playlist
Music is one of the best ways to get in the mood—and this goes for all things sexy and otherwise. Listening to some good tunes motivates you at the gym, makes work go by faster and sets the tone for sex—in ways both good and evil. Not just anyone can DJ an...It?s OK To Go Monogo
I’m a huge fan of “open” or “non-monogamous” relationships—when two or more people consensually agree not to be sexually and/or emotionally exclusive. Sometimes this looks like a couple being open to sleeping with others but...Yes Farms, Yes Plugs
In the middle of what had been just another dinner conversation at the sex columnist’s house, a friend absolutely delighted me by dishing that he had just completed his first-ever public anal-plug wearing day. Just as many more people—gay, straight,...Farmer Lube
On my kitchen counter is a glass jar that used to contain Teddy Bear Peanut Butter. It now has a gooey yellowish substance in it, pock-marked with finger-scoop tracks. On the jar’s green lid is a pink Post-It note that says, in purple Sharpie marker:...Sexual Chemistry
Do you have 11 protons? ‘Cause you’re sodium fine! Thirteen hours studying for my biology final and I still barely squeaked by with a C+. My high school language classes were a breeze, but algebra brought me to tears. But my sophomore chemistry class? Aced...Relationship Relapse
People change. We’re meant to. #YOLO. There are countless reasons why people choose to revisit old relationships for a second or twentieth time, but is it ever a good idea? It depends on why you split in the first place and why you’re coming back for more....
21 Reasons to Love Being a Lezzie
We can’t get married in every state (yet!), homophobia lurks around us like an old turd that just won’t flush no matter how many times we try, and it’s even harder to get through high school when you’re a lady-loving lady. Now I have and...E-Edition
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