It is the start of baseball season and i thot dody was looking when i tossed her my carl yaztremski autographed baseball but she was not b/c she was doing the dishes, which i shld have noticed but i did not, and that yaz baseball went clear thru the kitchen window and landed in a bunch of mud. well, i am not abt to call a glazer for something like that when i can fix it with gorilla glue so i and jake went down to the hardware store to get me some glue to fix that window.
But i will tell you something: i was feeling mighty glum abt throwing that baseball thru the window. i found that baseball in the window of a fancy antiques shop when dody and i went to an electronics store in boston once, and i have always had fond memories of that day. but i will tell you something else: There is nothing like a tube of gorilla glue to cure what ails you.
at the hardware store I got a mess of gorilla glue and jake got some flypaper for an experiment he is doing and then we had the bright idea to glue some money to the sidewalk, which is just what we did. we glued two dimes and a quarter and a nickel right out in front of Bunny in the Oven, that new maternity store that opened up a couple months ago. we glued those coins right to the sidewalk and then sat across the street in the truck and watched pregnant ladies try to pick them up. i do not think i have laughed so hard since we found that nail gun and jake had that mishap w/ it.
Unfortunately we then got carried away, as we are wont to do. To make a long story short we got yelled at by a particularily vindictive pregnant lady and the fellow who was w/ her, and so we went to Sportsmens Lounge and glued five dollars to the bar, which was funny but then when the time to pay our tab came we were short and cldnt get the five dollars to release from the bar and so Fat Carl the bartender got upset w/ us and then on the way back home i told jake he shld drive and when he was peeing beside the truck i put some gorilla glue on the shifter and he got stuck. but then w/ his free hand he came after me and i was fighting him off while he was driving and in the course of our fight my fingers got glued together and jake managed to get that flypaper out and it ended up all over the inside of the truck and it was like we were big giant flies all stuck in that paper. i even got some gorilla glue in my eye so my right lid got stuck like a windowshade that wont go up and jake got his free hand stuck to the steering wheel.
anyway, that was a couple days ago and by now jake has got himself loose and i have got my eye opened up and dody has used a razer blade to unglue my fingers and i still had enough glue left to fix that window so good you cant even tell anything happened to it and i got my yaztremski baseball all cleaned up like it has never once got thrown thru a kitchen window and into the mud. so I wld have to say that all is well that ends well and even tho it is snowing again the daffodils are going to come up soon and it is baseball season and there is 50 cents glued to the sidewalk in front of Bunny in the oven, and even tho i am coming down w/ a cold and my eye is sore, it is springtime and i am happy as the horse what pulls the wagon and the little dog what runs beneath.
