What happened was Joe Pye and his wife Trudy came to the bingo tent at sundays town fair and they had their own glass bingo chips like they always do and they sat down like they were the king and queen of Bingoland which they are most definitely not.
Neither of the two of them won any thing for some time and they were getting steamed and they kept changing their cards in to get new ones and when ever some one tried to talk to the either of them they wld not say anything and they wld shield their cards w/ their big tattoed arms like they were taking a math test and every one in the world was trying to cheat off them. And then, when ever any one wld yell BINGO! Joe Pye wld push himself back from the picknick table like he was disgusted and fed up all at the same time, whilst Trudy wld kind of snort and she wld say "Yeah, right!" like that fellow what yelled BINGO was a big fat liar.
All in all it is fair to say that Joe and Trudy Pye were being a couple of bad apples and were spoiling everyones bingo day at the fair.
Anyhow, i and jake and dody took this all in and then jake and dody each put one finger to their nose and nodded at me just like that scene in that movie The Sting, and which they did b/c they were telling me to really stick it to Joe and Trudy Pye.
I shld say here that i retired from the bingo circuit quite some years ago. Also i shld say that i never ever tout my bingo prowess and very very few people know abt my bingo ability.
But i shld also say that there is a bingo code of conduct that altho i do not play bingo anymore i still adhere to, and that means that when someone yells BINGO! you do not ever imitate that persons bingo call under yr breath. Nor do you hide yr card. Nor do you bring yr own bingo chips. You use the cards and chips what you are dealt and that is that. Sure there are a lot of people who use there own bingo beads and lucky whatnots, but that is amature and crass. It is like bringing yr own lucky pew to church or yr own lucky fork to someones house for dinner.
I do not mean to offend any of you what use yr own bingo beads. I am just telling you abt the bingo code of conduct and how Joe and Trudy Pye were violating it in a most greivous manner.
So there we were watching Joe and Trudy Pye spoil the fair’s bingo tent and I saw dody and jake give me the signal and at first i shrugged them off but then joe pye started saying that the bingo balls were loaded and the bingo caller was mumbling, and I bot myself a card and set abt schooling Joe and Trudy Pye in the bingo arts.
I quickly won the first game in only 5 calls, w/ a pretty little down-up left-right diagonal move i call the Shim Sham. The next game was Four Corners, which i won in 7 calls w/ a B3 B9 O72 O65 combo that both i and jake saw coming abt a mile away. And then we played Xray where you make 2 diagonals like an X and lets just say that I cakewalked over the Pyes.
That wld have been enough for me and i was ready to take my $3 in winnings and go home but then Joe Pye shifted in his wheel chair and pulled out his wallet from under his oxygen tank and said he wld put a 50 spot on it that i wld not win again and the bingo tent got quiet and then dody said, "make it 500 dollars, Joe, and you got yrself a bet."
Trudy glared at dody and took out a ostrich skin handbag and slapped 5 hundred dollar bills on the table and said "Bring it on, dody dodge."
Well just to make things fair i let the Pyes choose my card for me and we played straight up stud bingo w/ everyone else playing their 25 cent cards and me and the pyes playing for 500 dollars.
And now i will tell you what happened next.
The first call was G56 which i got but neither of the pyes did. Then joe answered back w/ N36 and B2 and then i grabbed O72 right out from under them. Now, if you follow Bingo closely, you will see right there that i had the match won already. I toyed w/ them a while, letting them string together 3 in a row in a couple places while i just sat there w/ a mostly empty card. you cld see how much they cld taste victory as there cards filled up and mine just stayed empty. I added a few just to make things last longer but i did it in a way that made it look like my card was going nowhere. but i knew what i was doing. And then i let them fill up there cards until they were one number away from winning in all kinds of different ways, and i just sat back and waited for that moment i knew wld come: when Joe pye wld lean forward and hold up one of his glass bingo beads and say, "Looks like you are out 500 dollars, Frank Dodge!"
Which is just what he did, and then bam! bam! bam! G56, I21, B14, and game over. Joe and Trudy Pye did not know what hit them.
I did not ahve the heart to take their money but dody did. ANd after we bot ourselves some french fries and i got a rootbear float, we gave 490-some
dollars to the volunteer fire department.
And that is the end of my story.
Here is a picture of my winning card, which jake took w/ a camera he found.
