What happened was that Jake parked that load of xmas trees we had borrowed from eddie champagne and had took down to NY to sell but cld not b/c of the threats we had received by the canadian xmas tree racket and he parked the truck and everything right smack on top of the tunnel i and him had dug btw our two places. And b/c i had ridden in the back of the truck w/ the trees all the way down to ny and all the way back to here I was too tired to notice, which I will tell you what: I will NEVER be that tired again b/c then it snowed and then it rained and then the tunnel collapsed.
So then what we had on our hands was a gigantic hole in the ground w/ 100 borrowed xmas trees and that truck what we borrowed way down at the bottom.
Now i have got to hand it to i and jake. Not to Fat Carl tho b/c he had gone home and when i called him to tell him what happened he just laughed. But I and jake and i will include dody and even Travis in this have delt w/ what most people wld think of as a real time sensitive architectural and legal problem and we have solved it. First travis brot over a whole team of beefalos and yoked them to the front of big tinys truck. And since my beefalo what i have yet to slaughter has some experience pulling a car out of a ditch we put him in the front of the truck. It was real foggy at this point b/c it was warming up and the snow was steaming so we put some red blinker lites on my lead beefalo so the other beefalo cld see him and those beefalos pulled that truck right out of the hole. I will tell you what: even tho it did not look much like reindeers and santas sleigh you cld not help but make the observation that it did.
Then we went around last nite and we delivered them trees to folks what dont have xmas trees and we brot back Big Tinys truck before he noticed it was gone since he is in canada for the holdidays, which I was glad of even tho the root of our problem has to do w/ canadians and i think i will remember this in case any one ever asks me again for an example of irony. Any how, instead of haveing to explain why we had got all those borrowed trees, now people in town want to give us a noble peace prize for being so generous.
And you are probly wondering abt Eddie Champagne b/c they were his trees we had borrowed and had gave away. Well, what happened there is that he went to a party this wkend and had a lot of champagne and budweisers. He got pulled over and while he was walking the line and touch his nose he had to pee real bad so he ran into the woods. After he peed he got arrested and after he got arrested the police discovered he had a warrant out for tax invasion and they tattled to the IRS who have come down and seized a lot of his assets including the xmas trees that he had not sold. So you see, it is realy good for eddie that we took the xmas trees b/c it is that much less the IRS says he owns.
All in all except for Eddy being in jail and the tunnel having collapsed everything is jim dandy and I am glad we have given away the xmas trees instead of selling them b/c it is the spirit of giving that makes a merry xmas and I really think if Jesus had been here he wld have done just what we have done. Altho I bet he wld be wrapping dody’s xmas gift right now instead of writing this.
Merry xmas!
