Big Tiny was the official rubber b/c he has the biggest hands. We used the Quebec Rules and since Cpt Slow did not want to compete this year b/c of what happened the last time when his arm hair caught fire so he was the timekeeper. Here are the results:
1. Travis 14 min 32 secs. I have got to hand it to Travis. It is like his wrist is just one big callus. I bet he cld of taken a lot more of a burn but Big Tiny got a cramp and had to stop rubbing. I do not know how he did it. I will tell you what: 3 min of a rub burn is a long time. 5 min is even longer. 10 is a really long time. But 14! That is a whole lot of Indian Rub Burn.
2. Pete Turkowski Sr 3 min 12 secs I have not looked back on the record books but I believe this is Pete Srs best showing in a contest ever.
3. Lumb Decker 3 min 7 secs I have got to say that Lumb shld have performed better. He has plump wrists so it is not like Big Tiny cld get a real good grip. Third place is okay and I am happy for Pete Turkowski Sr but honestly Lumb shld of beat him.
4. Nut Mogan 2 min 59 secs This is the first contest in a long while for Nut, who has been in the pokey. I am not sure if this is ironic or coincidence, but he has been in the pokey for giving a particularly vicious rub burn at Sportys one nite to a skier from CT who looked at him wrong. Nut used to be our rubber but it is part of his probation that he cannot give any rub burns any more.
5. Jake 2 min 47 secs Not a bad time for Jake but he was disapointed that he did not make the top 3.
6. Chet Winchester 2 min 1 sec Chet really worked hard to break the 2 min mark.
7. Frank Dodge (me) 1 min 59 sec I am unhappy that Chet beat me and that my time went down from last year.
8. Oola 1 min 2 sec Cpt Slow did not want her to compete but once again she held her own.
9. Zack Best and Molly Hooks both tied at 1 min.
10. Al Lipton 59 sec. Al was our oldest competitor and won the senior division.
I think it is worth noting that if Pete Turkowski Jr. had not of gone first he probly wld of done better than the 12 secs he did. That is a pretty poor showing, but Big Tiny was fresh out of the gate and you cld smell the hair almost immediately. That is what happened to Cpt Slow last year, so we will just have to wait and see if Pete Jr will compete. At least he did not need a skin graft like that skier fellow from CT what Nut burned.
We did have one scandal in the contest. Boom Simmons who has been banned from contest for 6 months has been banned again. How dumb can a fellow be to think he will not get caught using baby oil at a indian rub burn contest. I will tell you what. Mrs. Simmons shld of kept the receipt from the hospital and brung that boy back a long time ago.
