East Longmeadow based radio station Lazer (with a "z") 99.3 claims to have "everything that rocks." They have Lazer sports, Lazer news, Lazer music, Lazer music news (Toby Keith gave Ethan Hawke a verbal smackdown!) and Lazer contests. The contest for the month of April is really a good one. It's called "April Showers." Now, you might think this clever contest name is just a reference to the childrens' parable "April showers bring May flowers," meant to assure us of impending Spring. You'd be right in making that assumption, but there is so much more entendre and word play happening here. You see, the folks over at 99.3 are such experts on the "typical" American male psyche that they know that he knows that the word "April" is also a woman's name, and is probably most commonly thought of as a young woman's name. So "April Showers" could be seen as a woman's first and last name, especially when shown like this:
The phrase could also be interpreted to mean that a woman named April takes a shower. Here is where Lazer 99.3 has rested their contest. You, a lowly, everyday "April" could be like the "April Showers" in the photo! This is the actual contest description from the Lazer 99.3 website:
Ladies, Lazer 99.3 wants to know, can you make soap suds look sexy? Do you become slippery when wet? Are you having an affair with your faucet?
If you can put on a show in your shower, Lazer 99.3 wants to pay you for the pics! It’s Lazer 99.3’s April Showers…And it’s worth two Weeks’ salary at $9.93 an hour!
Ladies, get your pics in early for maximum exposure by uploading your best shower shots in the form down below.
Guys, check the site daily for new photos and details on how to vote for the sexiest, soapiest sweethearts in the pioneer valley!
The shower with the most power at the end of the Month gets the grand prize…..over seven hundred and ninety three Dollars in cash!!!
Which April shower will bring the hottest flower? Stop by everyday to find out! Photos can be submitted until Sunday, April 19th at 11:59 PM… Voting will be opened on Monday, April 20th at Noon!
Well, at least one of these women (who, after looking at their submissions on the website, look to have a median age of 19) is getting paid, right? Some of the photos are pretty raunchy (one woman lies in a tub with lotion slathered over her torso with the word "sex" spelled across her abdomen. Three strategically placed Lazer 99.3 logos cover up her nipples and vagina). A quck read of the official contest rules doesn't seem to say anything about distribution of the photos after the contest is over, so since they will be turned into digital files and put on the internet, $793 seems like a great number for the hundreds of submissions of naked pictures and thousands of hits Lazer's website will get because of this contest.
If you can't get enough of Lazer 99.3, check out their "Babe of the Day" page, which seems to take 100% of it's content from a B-level soft porn magazine called Stare, the motto of which is "We don't even have articles."
