What happened was that Harv Dingham who use to fly planes for United and his wife Margo who was a flight attendant got put in charge of food and that was a big mistake. I have no big qualm w/ Harv himself even tho he still dresses up like a pilot and instead of saying "ma’am" to women says "stewardess." For example i was once interested in learning how to pound nails up my nose so i was in the hardware store looking for some galvanized 10 penny nails and a rubber mallet and i saw that Harv was trying to decide btw painters caulk or plummbers caulk, and he said to the girl what works at the hardware store, "Excuse me, stewardess? Can you help me decide what type of caulk I shld have?"
But anyway, Harv is a good enough fellow but for the last few years he has lobbied hard to be on kitchen detail for the grange Thanksgiving dinner and finally Toby Hannah who is in charge of things at the grange she relented and said Harv and Margo cld be in charge and I am sure that Toby regrets that decision b/c what they did was arrange the grange like it was a airplane w/ all the seats pushed up real close to each other and everyone had a little TV tray table in front of them and not nearly enough legroom.
At first i did not realize what was happening and i did not mind taking my boots off at the door but then Margo told me i also had to empty my pockets and take my belt off and then she wanded me and i had to explain abt that steel rib i have and then she told me i cld not take my flask of screech inside b/c it might not be screech but might be gasoline or some other explosive liquid. Shortly after that is when i knew things were not what i had expected and i and dody and jake and cpt slow and oola and big tiny and travis and everyone else shld have turned around and gone home but we did not and that is a mistake i do not think we will make again.
B/c then what happened was Harv he had apparently called in some favors w/ some fellows what he knows who do food service w/ United and got himself a mess of airplane turkey dinners. He came around w/ this rolling cart and served us all our dinners, which were not good atall. There was a piece of turkey and some mashed potatos and a roll and a little scoop of stuffing and a plastic jelly container of cranberry sauce. I did not like what i was seeing so I hedged my bets and passed on the turkey and got the nutloaf instead but it was dry and sawdusty and i cannot much say as i enjoyed it one bit.
On top of all this the inflight movie was High School Musical which i and dody had seen before and which i found confusing.
So i cannot say it was a succesful dinner and nor can i say that i was much thankful for anything and on the contrary i think most of us were ready to run Harv and Margo out of town. But then i remembered how when Harv first got laid off from United it was like someone had taken his backbone out of him along w/ a couple other important parts of him. For example this one time i was in the library b/c i and jake were abt to go metal detecting and i was in the local history section b/c i wanted to make a list of cemeteries and i heard someone sobbing and i followed that sound to the aeronautics section and there was Harv all in a puddle of himself on the floor. And other times I have drove by his house and he is just sitting there on his porch kind of staring off into the distance. I know things have been touch on Margo too b/c Dody was in line behind her at the grocery store when her credit card got rejected and then she seen Margo in the parking lot just crying in the car.
So that is what i was thinking when people were murmurring that Harv is a idiot and ruined thanksgiving. I cannot say as i disagreed w/ the general sentiment of the crowd but i also seen how happy Harv and Margo were and how they stood at the front of the room making sure that their flight was going well and that the two of them were thankful to be back on a plane and that our discomfort and hunger and anger and general in-flight anxiety were just part of the plan and it all paled in comparison to how much this day meant for them. So even tho I got booed for doing it, i made a toast to Harv and Margo for putting on a fine banquet and I trusted they wld bring us in for a safe landing, which they did.
On the way out a lot of people shunned me but i am used to that and then dody said i done the right thing and even jake who is not what i wld call a touchy feely person put his arm on my shoulder and said i did good. And then we went to sportsmens lounge and got us some grilled cheese sandwiches and beer. I admit that today i feel a bit jetlagged but I am glad i am around people who know what it means to be thankful and can spot it where other folks cant.
