Blogs
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 15, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Last night’s sleep belongs firmly in air quotes. I woke up. I was hot; I was not hot; I was cold. I wasn’t sick. The dear husband snored. The small girl climbed into bed. Not so much later, she whacked me in her sleep. I mulled possible nephew names. I...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 19, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Remy is the (then longhaired) boy; Emily is the girl; they were creating a contraption with string When you talk about gender norms and small children, the phrases “girly girl” and “boy” roll around between people like leaves across the lawn in...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 22, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Here’s what I meant to do today: wake up, write a quick something for the blog, do the wake-ups and lunches and walk to the bus, write an article, work out, pick smallest kid up, and go to a meeting. Here’s where we are: snow day. I should write something...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 29, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
I’ll be brief, some of it very local—and here’s the local part: on Wednesday, students from the high school walked out of school, paraded downtown and held a rally in support of the arts at the school—and with the specific hope to save their...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 1, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
My friend Megan took Saskia with her kids to the park on Wednesday. She snapped a photo and shared the day’s you know your kids live in Northampton moment: when to play grocery store, the cashier asks for your member number. Take pride in this River Valley...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 5, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
One boy got sick, the fourth grader. He has a slight fever this morning. However, he has begun to yo-yo again, so I think he’s on the mend. He felt quite hot all day yesterday so he can’t go to school. The whizzing sound of yo-yo in motion will be mine all...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 9, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Are you ever allowed to say on a blog you have nothing coherent to say? Indulge me the click to my favorite song of yesterday, courtesy of Nashville and that adorable and super talented sister duo Lennon and Maisy Stella.
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 12, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
The week starts and if I have something to do, I’m focused. If I am on the chase to tie up loose ends, after a busy weekend I often feel completely frazzled. Am I alone in this or is it a Monday-ish thing? I noticed that two nights of relatively decent sleep...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 18, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Monday morning I got a phone call from my dentist’s office that I had a cleaning scheduled for Wednesday morning at 8:30. “Oh,” I said, “Hmm. Well, I don’t write these appointments down because otherwise I’ll get too anxious. My...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 23, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Sometimes you don’t need to say much. Meet Leo (the latest and last nephew).
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 30, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
A week of three kids on break, a dear friend’s wedding in New York, ended with… bowling. Yes, it did. We bowled as part of the National Network of Abortion Funds’ bowlathon for abortion access. Without access, abortion is only technically legal, as...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | May 7, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
I wanted to write something but then I got too sleepy. Here’s the most compelling read about that I’ve read recently, a piece that argues ADHD diagnoses may in fact be about not sleeping adequately. Y-A-W-N. Rather than write a bunch, I’ll add that...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | May 14, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
When your daughter naps at preschool, is it possible she’ll stay awake until 11:34 PM? You bet it is. Put another way, you know it (and PS it SUCKS). I knew it’d be bad. I grocery shopped while she stayed home with the brothers and then we went out to...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | May 20, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
The thing I like about our mismatched ceramic bowl collection is not only the aesthetics of those different colors and styles and even textures, but also the fact that when anyone requests yogurt or granola or sorbet or cereal or pudding or soup or fruit or what have...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | May 28, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
15 Things I adore about my 15 year-old:1. What he loves, he really, really loves a lot.2. He reads the newspaper.3. He is funny and mostly sweet with his younger sister.4. He is absolutely sweet to small children.5. He understands math the way I don’t think math...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 2, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
It’s hardly profound but I’m pretty sure many parents—maybe all parents at one time or another—would agree with this statement: three-day weekends can feel much longer than three days. I do not mean that entirely kindly. There was, let it be...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 4, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
My blog has been a little sluggish of late. But Saskia made this face, ordered I take a photo and added, “For the blog.” Duly noted.
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 11, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
I’ve never had allergies (I mean, the seasonal pollen-air-ragweed variety). I thought I did, but I suspect it’s a cold that is strange and slow and mild and annoying (and nearly over, thankfully). I am a little grumpy. Given the way colds make you feel,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 18, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
The fuchsia peonies up the street are the Susan Sarandon of flowers: siren hot and unapologetically sexy as they show signs of age, like so many petals strewn beneath them revealing no care for what they’ve lost. It’s raining and I can’t get an...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 25, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Father’s Day isn’t a big deal at my house and was especially not a big deal this year (the usual breakfast in bed didn’t happen—another time, though). But I did think about how lucky I am to have a father to be the mom with who is so engaged...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 2, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Now that it’s officially summer, I think I’d better get my fourth annual Standing in the Shadows summer wish list going (here’s the third). However dreamy these ideas sound, be assured I won’t actually get to some impressive chunk of them....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 9, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
I’ll be honest with you that summer hasn’t started off with a ringing endorsement for itself. My town seems to have moved into a cloud. We’re all drippy and even a little moldy. And we’re cranky. Sure this is a valley, but it’s New...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 16, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Two words that can be nice are hot and sticky. When you place those words at end of June and beginning of July they are likely not all that nice. They haven’t been all that nice. Like specific holidays, summer’s the season of vacation—without the...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 23, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
In other news, it is hot. Ezekiel and Saskia chillaxing in front of Kate’s fan (thanks, Kate) The weather is sometimes so boring. This weather—relentless heat, nearly as relentless humidity that finally lessened yesterday—it’s not interesting,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 30, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
There are a few burning questions to my summer. One of them is this: How did I get so overcommitted as a volunteer? It’s akin to potato chip consumption in that a few are fine, the open bag in the pantry, though, that becomes dangerous. I give an assist here,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 9, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Sunday, this one went off. He left for camp this year with a smile (although the actual smiling photo was rather blurry), and a full head of hair. The second guy begins his last summer as a DASAC camper today. This will mark the end of a long run at DASAC, possibly to...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 13, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Last licks on the most awesome learn to monkey bar monkey bars ever Oh crazybusy week you close with rain. Tomorrow, I go to pick up Remy at his overnight camp. (Yay, go ahead, you can be happy right alongside me). By all accounts, which is to say three...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 17, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Camp is a second home On a rainy Tuesday, here’s the news: the boy is back from camp. He had a marvelous time. It’s delightful to have him back, but honestly, I was so sure he’d be in camp heaven it was easy to have him away. In fact, even though...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 22, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
As tempting as it would be to make another list as I did last year on my birthday, I just read it again and I couldn’t possibly come up with much more to tell. It stands as a pretty good piece of who-Sarah-is documentation. I did not change all that much this...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 29, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Fine people, I have gone and done it. Not only am I that five-oh number, I celebrated. No huge toasts or roasts, just a few quiet words from friends at the end of yoga and an outpouring—cards, electronic messages, and real-time hugs and shout outs. My friend...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 4, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
By the numbers, we subtracted one teen on Sunday (he returns today; he visited his grandparents). We lost four wisdom teeth on Monday (the eldest teen, to be specific). We gained, in visitors, numerous teens each of these recuperation days. We added to our feats for...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 10, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Three random things on a Wednesday that has me rushing: I mostly think I’m on Facebook for the access to adorable photos of everyone’s babies. This week, I had to expand my thinking. I believe I ‘liked’ every single first day of school photo I...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 17, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
These are not my children (I think you knew that). Both are neighbors. I took the photos a couple of weeks ago at our Not Labor Day Not Block Party, an annual event that in some form predates our moving into our house sixteen years ago. I think we attended the second...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 24, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
If I needed two words (okay, two brief phrases) to describe my week, I’d choose—“upside down” and “sweet as pie.” Obviously, pie can be sweet or savory or even sweet pies can be different levels of sweet, so, I fold nuance into my...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 2, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
There are real, important things to discuss. World affairs, politics, even local goings on, of which there are many—this week. Add in the little things that happened and some charming photos and I could be writing about and thinking about practically anything....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 9, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
It is completely safe to say that twenty years ago (today) we had no idea (none, whatsoever) of what we were getting ourselves into. Four children, two moves—London and back, from one house to another, crossing the big divide of our main drag Elm...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 15, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Three disparate things on a Wednesday vie for space in my overcrowded and overtired mind: I don’t love to be cold. Mornings have begun to feel cold. I wish I could slow things down in a way you’re not allowed to do. My fantasy yesterday went like this:...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 29, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Super duper tired. Me. While I could use some sleep, the tired I’m feeling isn’t really the sleepy kind. I’m just tired. I could use a change of scenery. I could use a break from responsibility. I would do very well to say no to five things in a row,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Nov 8, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Last week, I missed loads of things that matter, because I was busy with other things that matter (mostly, I’d describe last week as busy with an other thing that mattered: triage of the one parent with four kids while the dear husband and co-parent was out of...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Nov 12, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
How do girls differ from boys? Three words, folks. Set her designs on a first grader, whom she told her babysitter is the “best thing about kindergarten.”
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Nov 19, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
I’ve written about how other years I’ve found the thirty days of gratitude challenges somewhat amusing, because I have long “gotten” the concept that gratitude improves your life. It’s a tool: to see the half-full glass more clearly and...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Nov 26, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Here’s what I probably think I should do when it comes to parenting teenagers (now that I have two of them, plus one eleven year-old): Talk less Listen more Shrug often Put another way, as much as there are parallels between toddlers and teenagers (“I do...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Nov 28, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Snow on the ground—really? Really. Also, they are blowing snow at Berkshire East Overwhelmed a bit this morning by the notion of excess and family and social whirlwinds and work deadlines buried in the mix and the general much too muchness that can characterize...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Dec 4, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Words Silences Gentle sunrises Intense sunsets Those days the air brushes cheeks just rightly The climb from Prospect Street up Round Hill Road The sky Feet Floor Legs Teenagers’ hugs Eleven year-old boy’s hugs Kindergartner’s leaps into arms with...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Dec 10, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
The words that really apply this week are “flurry,” “fluster,” and “flummoxed.” As in, I’ve fallen behind—a flurry of emails and to-do’s and such. Meantime, this has me flustered. Add to that the notion that...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Dec 17, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
Family’s such a loaded word. What is it, what does it mean, do you have one, did yours do right by you, do you do right by yours? Add, holidays. Here we are. In preparation, we ran a 5K in support of Safe Passage, along with 5,500 others. There’s something...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Dec 24, 2013 | Standing In The Shadows
The spirit of Valley Gives last week blew me away. Our Valley gave over two million dollars in twenty-four hours. That merits something. Applause? Cheers? Awe? Check, check, and check—and then some. The spirit not so much of Christmas proper although it’s...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jan 6, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
When I tried to find a photo of Christmas that kind of said “Christmas” for a post for Brain, Mother about holidays and my overwhelm, I discovered that most of my photographs aren’t exactly Christmas-y. Sharing a couple here along with the link to...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jan 14, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
Doesn’t this look worse than it was? Ghostly. Poor lighting. In the annals of what happened to you since January first, I really only have to say one word: “Laundry.” Yes, I did baskets and baskets of the stuff. On the second snow day that followed...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jan 21, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
I’ve written about matters of toddler fashion on my little blog. What, I have wondered aloud, do feminist toddlers (and preschoolers and now maybe kindergartners) wear? Next question: what happens when feminists turn the camera lens on themselves? Veronica...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jan 28, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
The thing I notice now that I’m ambulatory after the great ankle twist of Snow Day Number One-Too-Many is how afraid I feel of another ankle twist right now. I’m cautious on the ice. I feel… wary, worried. Old, I feel old—or at least a bit...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Feb 11, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
For Pete’s sake let’s take today to rise up singing. This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender.” – inscription on Pete Seeger’s banjo.
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Feb 19, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
The whole Valley Advocate Best Of didn’t entirely register for me. The deadline is tomorrow. I did not push my blog once. Oh, well, oh, dear, oh no, oy vey. But anyway, here I am with the official request that if you like this blog, please vote for it. You do...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Feb 25, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
Last week, I posted a photo of a snowman to Only in Northampton’s Facebook page. This week, I saw a sandsnowman. And that’s really all there is to say. Up on Brain, Child’s Brain Mother blog my essay about a surprise that happened to me on...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 13, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
We are back, as of midnight. I do not want to wear a coat (hashtag, First World Problems). We should see snow later, so I will wear a coat. Grumpy about the return, I won’t say much more on that subject. Of my three to share, two fall under the category of...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 20, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
A truism of my winter: we have hosted teens at our house, plural—early, late, all day, all night, and often. I wrote about this—and other friends, for Brain, Child’s blog. A truism about the teens: they use all the glasses and nearly all of the mugs....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Mar 28, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
Just last night I stumbled upon a Pie Chart about bath-time via Honest Toddler. There are things about the very small kid days I do not miss, like certain struggles during tubby time. The cute little wriggly soft bodies, sure, I miss those in some theoretical way....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 4, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
Essentially, that bin is my office. The two best ways I’ve found to have an office water cooler (of sorts) are these: one, ensure others work in or near your house and two, plug into social media. I have positive experience with both. Our first year in this...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 11, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
This week somehow tumbled by fast with the second half of it given over to the New York Antiquarian Book Fair (I’m not there; my dear, bookselling husband is). In service to Cumberland Rare Books, I stepped up the shuttle and parenting duties and I don’t...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Apr 18, 2014 | Standing In The Shadows
In its way, it’s been a quiet week for me. I’ve thought a lot about those stuck spots—the ones that make me uncomfortable (think, neck, jaw, shoulder and think, pick up towel, herd kids out door in the morning). I’ve been counseled to rethink...