Standing In The Shadows
October Mourning
I remember the first few days after my then-five year-old broke his leg. I kept replaying that afternoon in my mind. If only I’d been skiing with him. If only he hadn’t taken that last bunny hill run. The final truth: he broke his leg; wishing...Plain Old Tuesday Three
In a flurried hurried moment, I’m going to keep Tuesday—the three, the big three—short, simple and to the point—the three, the big three! I hope we like Tuesday Three. Three things I’m feeling glad about are the way Saskia seems to be...The Joys of Benign Neglect
For a while yesterday morning I worked while Saskia “worked,” which is to say we set up an unplugged landline phone, a defunct, old laptop and some paper with a real pen as opposed to a marker. Later in the day, there was a period when I worked while the...Small Triumphs, Aspiration, Tuesday Three
Triumph comes in such unexpected ways. Here’s an example: the just-turned ten year-old is not a performer by nature. He shies away from center stage. Wouldn’t you know we put him in a school that does a ton of singing, and where performances of many kinds...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Lice Installment
When faced with a buzz cut, this was Saskia’s initial solution. The rest of it—how she felt, hair as identity—I am still mulling. I’ll say this; even four-and-a-half year-olds care about their hair. Recently, her friend Arlo came home from...Talking to Kids About S*x–Start Early, Talk Often
[Admin note: words have been obscured only because of an overload of spam commentary attached to this post.] “Girls have tiny, tiny, teeny-tiny p*****s.” –Saskia, four-and-a-half She went on to say, “That’s what a v****a is, a teeny-tiny...The Power of Talk–and Telling, Tuesday Three
Over the weekend, I wrote about a Planned Parenthood initiative to get parents to talk about sex with their teens. One of the themes offered by Planned Parenthood is that you don’t have one talk—you know, the talk—with your kids. You talk, as in more...Talking Spookiness with Mister G
Musician Ben Gundersheimer—a.k.a. Mister G—did not set out to be a kids’ musician. His brand-new recording Chocolalala has already garnered a People’s Choice Gold Award and is on the Grammy ballot and his music has received glowing praise from...Three on Tuesday After the Storm
Last night, as I stared at images of the devastation in New York, I swear I heard the metronomic sound of Al Gore’s voice, that southern hint of authority, recite full passages from An Inconvenient Truth. I imagined him shaking his head yesterday, so sad to be...November's Swirls
It’s November. Like the cold air that worked its way into my being yesterday, I feel like it sped in fully every bit as convincing as the leaves turned when October danced its way in. November brings this critical Election Day—and all the disappointments...A Better World
On this day before the election, there’s plenty of anxiety in the chilly, darker just-fell-back air. Four years ago, in my little progressive enclave, we were terrified—and deeply, elatedly hopeful. We were giddy on hope, punch drunk. It’s not like...I Am So Not Moving to Canada
I could blather on. Photo: NYT But for today, I’ll stick to this: justice prevails. The road can be slow, arduous. But that’s the direction we are headed. And although many, even four years ago wouldn’t have believed this is what our First Family...Election Night Haiku Slam
Way back when—okay, November 2008—one of the ways I dealt with my extreme anxiety about the Presidential election was to write haiku. This year, to far greater reach and effect, Elinor Lipman did so with humor-filled ditties about the campaign, which were...Princesses, Elections, and More for Tuesday Three
Really and truly I am even happier about last week’s election now than I was on Wednesday last. I just read last night (thank you, Twitter) that in Philadelphia (that’d be my hometown), there were 59 voting divisions where Mitt Romney got not one vote....When the Dream Comes First
It’s kind of rushed around here. The ups and downs—the life gets lifey—check, that’s happening. Yesterday, though, I took a completely unexpected eighteen-minute forty-second break to watch author and illustrator Jarrett Krosoczka’s...The Pink, the Blue, the Embrace
Partly because my oldest kids are getting big, I’ve arrived at this wonderful moment in life—the one when the former babysitters have babies of their own. The babysitters’ babies! Full disclosure: I have incredible babysitter karma. I don’t...Tuesday Before Thanksgiving Three
From Tuesday Market Of the three good things about this week, tip-top might be that we get a break from the 7:30 AM high school start. It’s been getting grumpy around here again and I know we need a rest—and a breather from those struggles. This weekend,...Thankful For…
Apples Giving things away Thank-you notes, writing them as much as receiving them The honor of friendship My children’s friendships with their pals My children’s friendships with one another My children’s friendships with me My dear husband...Post Bird-Day or Not Bird-Day Tuesday Three
We were “pied” by Lucien–apple-cranberry Grateful and birded or not-birded, family-ed or not family-ed, here we are in the next stretch… On this Tuesday, my thoughts are squarely on work—and getting my house ready for a not-so-little...What Toys Do Feminist Preschoolers Prefer? The Gender-Neutral Toys' Mania Installment
It’s that time of year, the one when all the catalogues arrive and all the email blasts promise you holiday success and to the extent that the little girl says she wants any toy or thing it’s a Barbie (but that’s another story—although I did...I Can Be President Barbie, Hot Chocolate, Crafts–Circuitous Tuesday Three
I’ll get these three things about I Can Be President Barbie off my chest: It bums me out that the glass ceiling extends here: aspiring-President Barbie costs less than the glittery, trendy Barbies. She’s like grape nuts of Barbie: good-for-you—and...Closer to Fine
Yesterday was a jumble of frustration and good feelings. Frustration came in the form of a little girl home from school, because she didn’t feel well in the early morning. Of course, by the afternoon she was fine. She was antsy. She was very, very loud. Before...The Day Before Valley Gives is a Tuesday and Here are Three Things
It so happens that Tuesday is the day before Wednesday and that in my little valley, this Wednesday brings a new and nifty thing on 12.12.12 called Valley Gives. Even if you don’t live here, you’d be impressed by the notion that for a day, a flurry of...Miracle of the Light
On the fifth night of Chanukah, Saskia asked that we light the menorah. We were the only two people around the house. The first four nights had been neglected. I said, sure. I recited about a quarter of the prayer (that’s a generous estimate, to be honest) as I...Shaken
Like everyone else, I’m devastated by Friday’s news. I’ve hugged my children extra. I’ve savored in the sweetness of our peaceful lives (busy, but peaceful). True confession: I haven’t read through accounts of what’s happened....Stop Guns, And Not Only Being Angry–Tuesday Three
Might this tragedy be the one to shift our nation’s stance toward guns? It’d be the silver lining, right? If our will pushes actual, meaningful gun control… that would be… something. There is no equation available that makes what happened...Practices and Such
Okay, this is one of those small posts that include what happened at yoga class. I put this out up front. This post is not about yoga, though. One of my lovely yoga teachers has spoken recently about gratitude. The idea is this: that to practice gratitude begets more...Moments with Friends and Family
I can’t really stay away. This week has been notably busy, with family and holiday brunch and visiting and a deadline and you know, kids small to teens and a certain dear husband’s snowy birthday. The house was notably tidy when we hosted our brunch. The...Three for New Year's
Well, Happy New Year, blog-reading friends! Written on Tuesday, it’s a Wednesday—technical difficulties and all that stuff, but I still hope this New Year started off just beautifully. Monday morning, I made my New Year’s Resolutions. A week or so...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Lip Gloss as Eye Shadow Installment
My preschooler’s favorite gifts from the holidays include a mini-Imelda case full of plastic high heeled shoes, Barbie—and her pink unicorn, lest she just stand there being pretty (my husband’s addition, the unicorn, for this very reason)—a...Friends, Concentration, the Sky
2013 has begun with a lot of around the kid time, a fair bit of work, a newfound addiction to the very stressful, heart-pumping Homeland (eight episodes in, being watched with the eldest son while I work out on the elliptical; we’ve watched just about every...What Do Feminist Preschoolers' Barbies Wear Beneath Their Pink Princess Gowns? The Pink Plastic Lingerie Installment
I see London, I see France; I see Barbie’s… bustier? You don’t have to imagine my surprise to discover that Saskia’s Pink Princess Barbie wears lingerie. I wrote all about it on Kveller. Her bustier really gets in the way of all my childhood...*Smooch*
To say much this harried, distracted morning on this blog would be a stretch. Instead of three good things, three grateful things or even three links, I’ll share three random things: One: Two episodes from the end of Homeland’s first season, I dream about...Friday Night–Or Parenting Does Not Always Come Naturally
As the little girl went into a free fall of miserable behavior late this afternoon—hitting, spitting (does it beat biting?) and screeching—I had two realizations: One is, I most certainly hold onto the hope that Mrs. Piggle Wiggle will emerge from...Freedom Rang
bARACK ObAMA LOVE FROM SASKIA (b may appear as a d; she’s in preschool) Saskia was born on Super Tuesday, 2008. The potential that a woman or an African American man might become President still seemed surreal. What a moment for a biracial girl to join the...Families Aren't Always What We Think They'll Be
I spent a quiet day away from my peeps. By the end of it, I realized how much good a little quiet can do for a gal. I did some tiny things like exercise and get a pedicure and light a candle. In my toiletry bag I found that I have about three matches left in a...Teenagers, Dinner Parties and How Adoption Can Mean Many Things
Over the weekend, the younger teen—and a friend—threw a dinner party for 11. The menu was long and complicated and overall, extremely successful. The food was Asian with a little fusion here and there. Our second guy, the young chef and ninth grader, is a...Otherwise Known as Thursday
Amazingly, in the span of yesterday before making it to school by three, I wrote an essay and sold an essay and sort of caught up on correspondence, got an assignment for a story, did the interview—and grabbed a workout. I felt a bit giddy, even. The Thursdays I...Officially a Handful
One… two… three… four… FIVE! Saskia is oh-so-ready to be five. No doubt that she’ll put her entire self into five, frontwards, backwards, twirling, right side up and upside down. I imagine our main task will be to watch her rock it....Weather on the Blog
When big weather meets blog… The update from here for those who aren’t here: there was a lot of snow (I think we got about 20 inches). Where that snow goes is a puzzle. It was pretty coming down. It got blowy during the night (and is windy today). We had...Just How many Snow Days Does It Take?
Amongst the things the ten year-old does not want to do for work when he grows up: drive, collect trash, or promote cigarettes. Things he would consider include bicycling to collect trash, designing ads for things like peace and designing yo-yos. Also, the ten...On Valentine's and the Village We Might Aspire to Make
Here’s a Valentine’s Day recap: to begin, as is true most years, the dear husband—my funny Valentine—isn’t mine on the day. Almost always the hearts coincide with the California Antiquarian Book Fair. That’s his gig, selling old and...Beach and Sun and Air Makes Three
We’ve made it to Florida—for a week that’s started off on the very brisk side but seems to be warming up. Regardless, the light is so bright. The sky is so blue. The palm trees are so ridiculous and Seuss-like. Also, pelicans. Shifting gears from...Sun Gets in Your Eyes and You See Things Differently
The kids are about to return to school. Are we prepared to return to “real life?” I can’t say I am. The warmth got under my skin. I don’t want winter, not even another nanosecond of it (as my eldest would say, “Sucks to be you.”)....Words that Start with 'F'
I’m in the middle of watching the PBS Makers documentary on the women’s movement. To state the obvious, I like feminism. I am a feminist. It is, to me, not a scary word. In that spirit, a quick share this morning that through my Berkshires peeps,...The Be Here Now Three
Our changing table, the very pretty antique green one we got that was new but appeared somewhat distressed by intention just before we had our first boy has moved (as of a couple of months) to the basement. A latch has been fixed; it’s ready to go to someone...Young Makers and the Power of Process
My third guy has a makers thing going, always has, from his years-long fascination begun in toddlerhood with stickers to extended explorations with collage, pipe cleaners, origami, knitting and now yo-yo (okay, that’s not something made, but think about it and...Tuesday Yawn
Last night’s sleep belongs firmly in air quotes. I woke up. I was hot; I was not hot; I was cold. I wasn’t sick. The dear husband snored. The small girl climbed into bed. Not so much later, she whacked me in her sleep. I mulled possible nephew names. I...How Do the Children Play? Pink and Blue Edition
Remy is the (then longhaired) boy; Emily is the girl; they were creating a contraption with string When you talk about gender norms and small children, the phrases “girly girl” and “boy” roll around between people like leaves across the lawn in...Last Snowy Tuesday of Winter (All Bets are Off About Spring Snow)
Here’s what I meant to do today: wake up, write a quick something for the blog, do the wake-ups and lunches and walk to the bus, write an article, work out, pick smallest kid up, and go to a meeting. Here’s where we are: snow day. I should write something...Teenagers Rally for the Arts
I’ll be brief, some of it very local—and here’s the local part: on Wednesday, students from the high school walked out of school, paraded downtown and held a rally in support of the arts at the school—and with the specific hope to save their...If You Want Social Change, Observe Preschoolers
My friend Megan took Saskia with her kids to the park on Wednesday. She snapped a photo and shared the day’s you know your kids live in Northampton moment: when to play grocery store, the cashier asks for your member number. Take pride in this River Valley...No Fooling
One boy got sick, the fourth grader. He has a slight fever this morning. However, he has begun to yo-yo again, so I think he’s on the mend. He felt quite hot all day yesterday so he can’t go to school. The whizzing sound of yo-yo in motion will be mine all...Singing Stella Sisters
Are you ever allowed to say on a blog you have nothing coherent to say? Indulge me the click to my favorite song of yesterday, courtesy of Nashville and that adorable and super talented sister duo Lennon and Maisy Stella.Balancing Acts of All Sorts
The week starts and if I have something to do, I’m focused. If I am on the chase to tie up loose ends, after a busy weekend I often feel completely frazzled. Am I alone in this or is it a Monday-ish thing? I noticed that two nights of relatively decent sleep...In Which I Visit the Dentist and Confront Middle Age or Something
Monday morning I got a phone call from my dentist’s office that I had a cleaning scheduled for Wednesday morning at 8:30. “Oh,” I said, “Hmm. Well, I don’t write these appointments down because otherwise I’ll get too anxious. My...Introducing
Sometimes you don’t need to say much. Meet Leo (the latest and last nephew).Bowling is to Abortion Access Like __
A week of three kids on break, a dear friend’s wedding in New York, ended with… bowling. Yes, it did. We bowled as part of the National Network of Abortion Funds’ bowlathon for abortion access. Without access, abortion is only technically legal, as...Sleep, Diapers, Sailing, But Not Together
I wanted to write something but then I got too sleepy. Here’s the most compelling read about that I’ve read recently, a piece that argues ADHD diagnoses may in fact be about not sleeping adequately. Y-A-W-N. Rather than write a bunch, I’ll add that...E-Edition
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