Standing In The Shadows
At Odds
I’ll ‘fess up straight away. Since the news of Japan’s nuclear crisis, I’ve been trying to avoid the news. I mean to say, I’m not reading every story or watching the news or streaming video. I’m seeing headlines in newspaper boxes,...Regarding
Sunday morning, Massachusetts: it’s 23 degrees outside and there are just a few tired patches of snow left. I hear birdsong. How impossibly magical is it that a morning ago I woke to the fullest orange moon hovering in the charcoal grey sky above the ocean?...Orchards
After each of the very public (and I don’t have to qualify this, tragic) suicides by very young people in recent years nearby (to refresh your memory of their names, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and Phoebe Prince) that were linked in some way to bullying, my...Longest Month
The calendar says spring. New England has its own terms for spring: just a little snow left on the ground or just a little snow fell overnight. Look! Crocus! Look! Person in t-shirt (ignoring snow)! It’s not pitch black at seven in the evening, I’ll grant...Three Seats
Any parent who has flown with child in tow has at least one hellish story to share. My personal worst had to do with a cancelled flight, a second pass at the trip the next morning, three flights, two terminals, one parent, two children (turning three plus infant) and...On Fashion
One last observation from my week in oh-so-sunny and warm Florida: a lot of people my age have tattoos. I still so don’t get tattoos.Family Dinner-ish
If memory serves (a phrase I bet I end up using more before I use it less in the coming years), potty training—save for the force-it-for-preschool-deadline with the first—was a far less emotionally fraught experience for my middle two guys. This is to say...Blogging, The Lion, The Lamb & The Fool
No surprise that at the tippy end of March—a chilly, damp, grey day promising rain—that whole lion and lamb thing is echoing through my head. Yesterday, blissfully, the lamb strutted its stuff. Today, a little roar and tomorrow, snow is in the forecast?...Day After Fool's
April Fool’s Day 2011, like the snow, came and went. Birds are singing. Sun is shining. I almost think it just might be spring. Although that seems way too bold a declaration. No one pulled any pranks on me. I was too burnt out and cranky for anyone to want to...How to Lift Your Spirits, Kind Of
Well, to start right in the middle, my mood’s improving (in case you wondered). I have no discernible reason why, other than I did sleep this weekend and sleep is a really good, smart thing (research bears this out). I went to silly, hot and stinky Bikram Yoga...What Do Feminist Toddlers Wear? The Acessories Installment
When my dear husband was a wee boy of five, raised on Ms. Magazine’s Stories for Free Children, he asked his mother (famously), “Mom, can boys be astronauts, too?” I share that lest you think for a moment I’m the sole feminist adult around here...First Solo Day
Shall I regale you with my theory that when one’s dear spouse (and pointedly, in absentia perhaps even dearer co-parent) goes on a trip (book fair, in this case) the first day can either go deceptively smoothly—thereby lulling you into false security that...In Progress
Maybe the reason people love gardens is that they contain all kinds of answers about life (even capital L). I’m writing a story about them at the moment and love one person’s description: “A garden is always a work in progress.” In other words,...Three
Here’s one truth about being three (three fingers, words enunciated very clearly): it’s more complicated than being two. ** You want to be a big gu-url. You want to be a baby (before we knew such a teeny-tiny guy as Declan, baby Millie). You pinch (hit,...Neon Pink Polish Debate Rages On
Okay, I’ll bite. While it’s almost (emphasis on not really) funny to see Fox News create a brouhaha simply by overreacting in the ways you’d expect to a simple—but creative, inspiring and yes, very cute—J. Crew ad about neon toenails...What Do Feminist Toddlers Wear? The Un-Previewed Box Of Hand-Me-Down Clothes Installment
True confession: when the eldest was smaller—a knight-intrigued and princess-liking lad—I pulled the slivers of plastic that were swords from the brand-new Playmobil set—and threw all weapons in the trash. Because, you see, I was against violence....Roll of the Dice?
We—by we, I mean my tween, my eight year-old and myself—are a teeny, tiny bit Yahtzee-obsessed at the moment (and Saskia, in her very own way). There’s something so simple about the game, a little bit strategy, a little bit rock-n-roll the dice, plus...Perseverance Macro (& Little Plastic Toys)
If I were to boil down many Jewish holidays—their stories, their themes—down to a single word, it would be perseverance. Exodus, the paucity of oil, the lack of time even to let the bread rise, I mean, life was hard again and again. Judaism marks its...Movie Plus Dinner
Before the little gal began vomiting, the week—with two kids off the whole week, one off for a couple of days and the little one on her three mornings at school schedule—included plans. A bunch of which were dashed by her illness and attendant (wholly...Happy Two Years Standing in the Shadows
Two years ago today marks my inaugural Standing in the Shadows post; I went back to find it for you (here). Happy blog-o-versary to me! I so had no idea what I was getting myself into two years ago. I’ve spent way more time on this blog than I imagined I would,...Doughy
When you are a gourmet-leaning tween with aspirations of chef in your future, two things are clear: one, you dream up complex meals you hope to create and two, cooking for people you care about is one of the biggest pleasures in your life. So it goes in my house....Quick Reflection Upon Working at Home
One of the unfortunate events that took place this weekend was a toilet overflow (and not the first). Rather than delve into the mucky details (our house and sewage issues are not on friendly terms at present), I’ll just get to the upshot: we are getting a new...Living Inside Pages
Quoting Saskia, “I’m as big as Lola.” ** Quick aside: in case you don’t know Lola (and you totally should), she’s Charlie’s little sister and she’s an emphatic, confident fictional girl whose self-expression is most endearing....On Princesses: Royal & Imagined
For all my inattention to the Royal Wedding yesterday (I glimpsed and of course found my favorite piece of anti-wedding paraphernalia I wished to buy but didn’t), perhaps the most telling moment of the morning was this: as I locked the straps in for my...Be Here Now
What seemed like simply being wiped out on Friday evening announced itself—by an hour and a half nap (so very unlike me) Saturday morning—as something a tiny bit more than exhaustion. It was low-grade, a little headachy, feverish, nothing big ticket, yet...Blowing in the Wind
In the spirit of imperfection being, well, kind of perfect, I wanted to share these seemingly random thoughts about the way life is so very lifey: * This coming weekend is my 30th high school reunion. As one of the organizers of the event, I’m compelled to note...Assumptions
Given that I’m one of those bluer-than-blue—indigo—state Democrats living in bluer-than-blue Northampton, Massachusetts, getting a fundraising pitch a few months back for the George W. Bush Presidential Center (not library, since we’re not sure...Looping Round
If reunions are about letting you reconnect with people you’ve shared important experiences or times with—in this case, my (30th) high school reunion—it’s partly powerful because you make a loop around whatever thing you loop around—the...Princess. Truck. Phase.
One of Saskia’s preschool teachers* also taught her next oldest brother. Her teacher noted, rightly, that Remy was truck obsessed during his tenure in that young preschooler classroom. Indeed, he was. A word he pronounced carefully and slowly, as if to revel in...With(out) Camera
A tiny new development is occurring in my life: I really like to wind up places with my camera in tow. Tuesday was a case in point. I figured that if I brought my camera to the Tuesday Market I’d wind up with a few photos I just… liked. Turned out to be...In the Mail, Time Flew
Long ago, they just played with cars (point of fact, some still do; the eldest never did). They grow, these kids. They stare 16 in the face (well, September). What’s next—my invitation to join AARP? Don’t answer that.Sorry
Empathy’s such a big concept. It is the heart and soul of compassion. It’s what’ll save us. And then, there are three year-olds (or pretty much any other age, take your pick). For Saskia, impulsivity is an issue (overall, improving, but still, an...Is Homework Essential for Preschoolers to Get Ahead?
By this fourth daughter, the one who now at age three executes diving somersaults off the couch rather than mere rolling somersaults, I really have fallen from the scheduled activity wagon. I know she’d enjoy music or dance or gymnastics (and in the fall, solemn...A Lesson By Way Of Bhutan
The minutiae of our daily lives—in this household with four children it’s piles (and piles and piles) of laundry, food that is amassed and cooked only to disappear again, tears and boredom and bad moods and waking up for school and getting to school and...Teenager
The morning of May 19th a dozen plus one years ago, I kind knew one baby (gender yet unspecified) was about to arrive. Nothing more than cramps, but I suspected those cramps meant business. The sun shone, one of those achingly gorgeous May mornings. The toddler in my...Grey is My Favorite Color, as in Shades of
There were all these May showers this week. More aptly, rain, enough so that when the sun returned, its golden orb’s brightness and warmth seemed startling. How quickly you can forget. I happen to enjoy the rain just fine. The year and a half we lived in London,...Taking Notes
Here’s a moment I loved today: two first grade girls stood—each holding a door—where the front hallway leads to the staircase and all the kids (and some parents and teachers) pour down the stairs as the school day officially begins. Rather than...Condo Dwelling
Having given birth to three babies—and kind of obviously, thus having been pregnant three gestations’ worth in order to do so—I’m an adoptive mother who does not pine for the chance to experience pregnancy. My pregnancies included more than my...Bedtimes (& Other Troubles)
That kids today are under-slept (along with the adults)… um, yeah. I’m in the midst of a five-day solo parent gig (dear hub away) and so the (sometimes roving) bedtime debacle is all mine. When getting eight and three year-old to sleep by 9:45 seems not...We Are Always Making it Up As We Go Along
This past weekend (okay, it’s a three-day weekend and we’re still in it, so Saturday to be specific), I went to see Remy in a Capoeira Kids’ Batizado. He practices with Omulu Guanbara Capoeira Western Massachusetts (led by the quite amazing Joe...Ayelet Waldman is Coming to Town (& is on This Blog–Now)
Writer Ayelet Waldman is coming to town. Her two most recent books are the novel, Red Hook Road and the collection of essays, Bad Mother. The essay collection’s title might not have come to be if she hadn’t published an essay professing her love for her...Hard Farewells
Some moments are bittersweet. There’s no way to make them fully sweet (or entirely bitter, either). Short version: a couple of weeks ago a spot for Remy opened up at the school his seventh grade brother attends. Lucien’s had a great year—and the...Guest Post: Gina DeMillo Wagner of the Daily B is Pretty Neat
Guest Post! Here’s the story: I asked for—and received, from Seal Press—Pretty Neat, which is a book on organization. Rather than just write about it from the vantage point of someone who is pretty not neat, I asked my friend—through the...At the Start to Strawberry Season…
We walk. A lot. As such, we are careful pedestrians. Across the main drag, we routinely wait until cars going both directions have stopped for us. This morning, we did that and another car took a left-hand turn right into us, speeding up rather than halting as the...Fireworks
Go to the farmers’ markets this week and you’ll see this whole growing season phenomenon is in full swing. Along with all the greens and early radishes, there are sugar snap peas! Strawberries! The earth seems busy these days. This week, I started to think...Some Basics
Sticking close to home this weekend, I have been sleeping. I logged eight hours-ish of sleep on Friday, and a little more on Saturday. If you’ve been reading about our household’s spring, you know that sleep hasn’t been our most abundant commodity....At Home & Close to Home
Having something like a sty in your eye (well, having a sty in your eye) is one of those completely self-absorbing experiences, simply because it’s so annoying. Mine is getting better, finally. It’s not all the way better, but close enough that maybe today...Vexing Enough to Use the Phrase “You Betcha”
Sleep is vexing in this household. For starters, the teen fell asleep at 6:30 and awoke at about 3:30. I’m pretty sure that model is unsustainable, but nine hours of sleep is nine hours of sleep and he might just make it to school on time. The three year-old...Moodiness
If misery loves company, we were a companionable crew yesterday. Take one papa with an ear infection, one mama with a sty that will not budge, and one just-turned teenager with an aversion to transitions (school year ending) then toss in a less-than-sleeping-easily...Video Store, Lawns, Trails, Eye
One of the reasons I so adore living here is seeing—again and again—how people find ways to band together. This week, I wrote my second Mash Note to Paradise for the Hilltown Families blog about the bike paths—and what I didn’t say in...Week's End (Summer's Start)
Three endings—two schools, one camp-at-school—plus one transition from the Younger Group to the Middle Group for a not-sure-she-wants-to-be-that-big three year-old for one parent (dear spouse, hanging with rare books’ librarians in Baton Rouge,...Improvisation
Not to be all Dear Diary or anything but Tuesday went better. Lucien started his day off where he left things on Monday night, shrill. A litany of my wrongs tumbled from his mouth, namely, “Why didn’t you wake me up at six?” Uh, for this, seriously,...Fire Stations, Broadway, & Weddings That Might or Might Not Occur
When my eldest two guys were small, like preschool and kindergarten small, they had a grand plan to marry each other and move to New York City where they’d live in the fire station near Broadway. The eldest was going to work on Broadway by night, and be a...On Not Being Everything & Writing
Early this week I wrote—I think too harshly—about struggles over a particular bedtime. In the piece, I wrote about how much I worry that what I have to offer my second guy—the one we like to call Bunbun the Middle One—is not, ever, never...Summer Wish List
Last summer, inspired by Damaris, I copied her. She’d written a summer wish list. I wrote a summer wish list. Given that it was pretty fun to dream about things I hoped to do and that are fun to do, I decided to do it again. One nice thing about this year is...Tips for Smooth(er) Reentry
Truthfully, reentry—the dear spouse returned from his week traveling for work—hasn’t been going terribly well. After putting the little gal to bed—she was excited to see him so it took him a while to get her settled—he did not leap up at...List-ing
Now that I’ve been making lists in blog posts this week, I have a few more lists swirling in my head. This is not surprising. I always have a few lists going: the to-do list, the what stories I might do next list, the who to hit up for money for __ organization...Independence (Not Just One Day)
Even if patriotism isn’t much on my mind these days (a day to celebrate world peace, yes) independence is, as in how to nurture and encourage and support independence, especially when living with two (insert gasp here, I sure am) teenagers. I really don’t...Benign Neglect, Boredom, Summer
Five zillion summers in—okay, not quite that, but plenty—I should know, at a cellular level, that summer equals loads of transitions. We are past the school-to-summer one and comfortably enough into the Younger-Group-to-Middle-Group one. Last week, Lucien...E-Edition
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