Standing In The Shadows
Sleep, Moms, Politics, Books & Dress-Up
Midweek and I’m reeling. Some of my dizzying lack of sleep has nice roots. My posse of moms—we call ourselves MOTE, which stands for Mothers on the Edge—met last night. I left the soon-to-end (or so it seemed) gathering at 11:30. As I’ve...Guest Post by the Fabulous Sally Bellerose
How fortunate am I to have first-time novelist Sally Bellerose on my blog this morning?! Answer: very fortunate! Her novel The Girls Club was released by Bywater Books, September, 2011. She’s an RN and long-time resident of Northampton. And, the book has been...Two-Way Streets & Other Myths
The more you give, the more they take. I think that’s one of those rules of humanness that I fail to absorb. The boyfriend who cheats and you give another chance to? He might just cheat on you again (no boyfriend is cheating on me, now, worry not). The child you...What Happens to Your Brain When Too Many Weeks in a Row Include Kids Home From School
If every single child in our family makes it to school on every single appointed day this week—that’s five for three of them and three for Saskia—this will mark the first full week of school for all of them since the week before the Columbus Day...Extra Fine Sleeping
One thing I’m in need of is more sleep. The little gal woke at 4:45 this morning. She needed a cuddle. That wasn’t enough. She needed a bottle. By the time I got her back to sleep, I was wide-awake, sleep-deprived style, which is to say groggily...National Adoption Day & Us
The thing about preschoolers is they lack certain self-consciousness. This week, en route to Gym and Swim, Saskia rode in the stroller wearing jacket, bathing suit, pants, sparkly red shoes—and her goggles, although she knew she’d take them off since gym...Dispatches from the More Love is More Love Camp
I’m delighted to have written about the way the word mother falls short—and also perhaps doesn’t—for Carrie Goldman’s Portrait of an Adoption blog, where she’s featuring 30 guest posts this month in honor of National Adoption Month....Thankful For…
The fact that the three year-old woke up at seven, having fallen asleep at eight Her brothers up, ready to play with her Her mother Her knowing what adoption is some of the time Her waking up in the car in the middle of the night and singing “How many squirrels...Everyday Wear
Over the few days spent in Philadelphia, along with enjoying time with lovely, welcoming grandparents, we saw some old friends, snuck away for a night without grandparents or their grandchildren and looked out upon the gracious city as the sun set, the lights blinked,...Weekend Highlights: A Preview
Last year attending the Winter Fair at Hilltown Charter marks the moment I was certain I wanted my third guy to switch schools. It wasn’t exactly the mixing of loose teas into little pouches nor was it any of the other sweet crafty experiences he had. It was...Making the Soup the Soup
No surprise to hit a Friday morning and find that the focused beginning of the week has unraveled into a chaotic tangle; I guess that’s what this corridor between Thanksgiving and the winter holidays does. So, that’s where I am, in a tangle. For a potluck...I Was Going to Write About Something Else, But…
Waking early enough on a not yet light Sunday morning, I was ready to do a little writing and organizing of my thoughts and work in the pink-tinged quiet. I stepped into the hallway. “Mama!” I heard. I’ve spent the past chunk of time placating a...Discovery on Foot
I’ve definitely mentioned that the twentysomethings living upstairs in the flat above us—we barter for childcare—often remind me that like them, when I was a twentysomething I spent a great deal of time with friends. We hung out. In my case, I spent...Obstacle Courses
Remy: “I think ____ has PhD.” Me: “Is she kind of wiggly and does she have trouble paying attention?” Remy: “Yes. I think it’s a kind of autism, maybe.” Remy’s a third grader. While he doesn’t quite know he was...If You Give a Boy a Rat
If you can imagine clearing a cluttered first floor for the purposes of welcoming a gaggle of artisans into your house to peddle their wares on a chilly Sunday, then you can imagine our weekend to date. It’s been a sprint of de-clutter. I’ve gotten the...House Full, House Empty
The thing I forget about opening up the house for a craft show is that when the bustle of beautiful stuff and cheery folks sweep through our house I get to see our house anew. I realize how welcoming it can be. That is such a huge gift our solid old house gives us....Dark Tunnel
Here’s the backdrop: we’re in that tunnel of time between Thanksgiving and The Holidays. We’re staring down the shortest, darkest day. It’s getting, at least the trend is, colder. Think, end of semester, think all sorts of deadlines, think...Breathing in the Semi-Dark on a Sunny Morning
After tussling with teens this week—and feeling pretty sad about it, I’ve come to realize a couple of things. First off, despite all, we actually do like each other—the teens and their parents. Not all teens like their parents (and not all adults...Perspective Stolen, Begged, Borrowed
There’s a sprinting to a marathon quality about this particular moment: the final days of school and routine schedules before a long holiday break, with emphasis both on holiday and break. Color me rushed. I’m taking a brief few paragraph-pause to jot a...Loose Ends Near Year-End
There is something about seeing the trees sway on a grey morning in winter (even without snow) that makes home seem very appealing. That’s this morning right here. I took a breather from work to see the last gym and swim class for Saskia (with my mama!), enjoy...Muddle
Having hosted a big craft show, a big Christmas brunch and a smaller birthday brunch over the last couple of weeks, my house is somewhat upended. On the one hand, in order to make room for new people and temporary accumulations of stuff, there are some clear spaces...Resolutions Not Yet Dusty!
Note: the site was down until the 3rd so here’s a slightly belated but still stylish New Year’s Post! ** Okay, I’ve done it. I’ve made my New Year’s Resolutions list for 2012. I know some are naysayers about the whole resolution exercise....Changing Gears
Although it hadn’t been two full weeks between the last day of school and the first day back, getting everyone in gear again isn’t easy. The gears feel stiff, as if we are all in need of the Tin Man’s oilcan. The cold surge didn’t help matters;...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Prairie Dress Installment
I’m not so much of a series person in the land o’blog. The one series, miniseries perhaps, I felt committed to was What Do Feminist Toddlers Wear? The little gal is many things these days. Toddler is not one. So the re-titled extension goes What Do...Making Lemonade in the Happy Valley
When I was putting up little teasers about the post I’d written for Hilltown Families yesterday, as part of My Mash Notes to Paradise series, I said of this one—about the lack of office buildings around my little town—that all the carpenters have...First Snow of 2012 & Planetary Shifts of the Personal Persuasion
Just yesterday I was walking home from yoga and thinking that in the best case scenario, the really half-full rose colored lens of unreality, our balmy January weather in New England could seem kind of soft and benevolent, as if just this year, the universe wanted to...On Order from Chaos–& Voting
With each bit of reclaiming order from chaos, there seems to be some fallout detritus. Yesterday, unpacking a wonderful bunch of hand-me-downs there were about seven socks, none of which matches and six glittery shoes: two silver, two red, one black, one purple. Next...What Do Feminist Preschoolers' Mothers Wear? The Should-We-Care Installment
Sure, there’s a little jest implied to my little series’ titles: What Do Feminist Toddlers Wear and What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? Obviously, I can’t determine how my children eventually define feminism, or whether they decide they...On Not Comparing
Certain principles seem to require a lot of reminding about. One is perfectly contained in a favorite picture book series of mine (sadly, out of print, but still possible to find a copy here or there) about Edward the Unready (a bear, penned and illustrated by the...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Liking Bras and Bling Installment
Wriggling into her bathing suit in the bathroom at the Y this week, Saskia said, “I like this bathing suit. It’s kind of like a bra.” To wit, my girl likes bras. ** Also, she likes bling—a lot. (Pouting mouth thanks to yellow pepper.)...Cautionary Tales: Parenting Teens Installment
It wasn’t our best weekend. Nothing earth-shatteringly terrible happened, but we experienced discord of the teenage angst-meets-parents variety. You could put many words to this, not pretty words, either. Perhaps, because we’re raising a preschooler too,...Team Demi
I really wanted Demi to be the winner, by which I mean I wanted her marriage to her much younger spouse to be a keeper. My reasoning was politically incorrect: he wasn’t so much older than her daughters and so, actually, ick; if the situation had turned the...Smallish Kids' Birthday Parties & the Big Picture
There are all kinds of ways to turn four. For parents, the question really centers around how to celebrate (and of course, how did this happen? The baby has left the premises). Do you go big? Do you keep it small? We happen to have a very lovely crew of kids in our...Scattered on Tuesday Morning
We had a sick day around these parts. The little girl, who turns four on Sunday, was at home. The evening before we’d had the families of some very close buds (we call Arella and her sister Emily the cousins because the families really operate like family) to...In the Cubby of My Mind
Amongst the things I’ve talked to people about recently for work or written about: green burials, the future of Holyoke, a doll, a writer’s career, the amazing ceramicist and designer Molly Hatch, the college application process and desks. Note: for most...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Molly Ringwald v. Kaia Gerber Installment
As a breed, toddlers and preschoolers have some… interesting ideas about fashion. A la Portlandia, rather than “put a bird on it,” think, wear rain boots with it or put a construction hat on it or put fairy wings on it. Outrageousness, thy name is...Half the Population
In all the do-si-do’s this past week or so in the dance we might call Contraception, the Catholic Church and the Obama Administration, there are many sideline opinions (American Idol, American politics, take your pick). I found myself in a tussle with someone on...Cubbies, Teens, Mood Management & the Cluttered House
Just to be clear, my house on a Monday morning (or pretty much any morning) has a layer of detritus, not evenly spread across the floor, but still… strewn about. Strewn is such a nice word for the reality, which is displeasing mess. The cubby is an oasis. The...On Dropping the Baby in the Indelicate World
It’s kind of like this: you start out as a parent with the most precious, delicate, special baby in the world. Time passes. The baby is dropped—and still okay, or dirty—and still okay, or bites someone or is bitten—and still okay. For most...Childcare, Contraception, Gay Marriage & Gore v. Florida
The week we’re in goes like this: the census defines fathers caring for their children as babysitting and mothers caring for their children as parenting. It’s February 2012. Yes. The Catholic Church is pitching a giant hissy fit about contraception, trying...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? A Feminist Mama's Twisted Pride & Guilt Installment
For the daughter of a Free-to-be-You-and-Me loving gal there are an awful lot of glittery shoes and frothy skirts and fashion girl stickers and some serious Disney Channel action going on around here. My newly minted four year-old-daughter’s all about “my...Scene From the Middle of the Night This Week
Here’s what you can learn about yourself at 3:30 in the morning when you hear your just-turned-four year-old daughter coughing a wet, croupy, not quite seal barking cough and your dear husband is out of town and you didn’t sleep hardly a wink the night...Feet
When I was deeply into running, I loved this notion: trust your feet. Having spent some really important time walking—and running—on the beach this week (Florida’s Gulf Coast), I was reminded of this idea. Aside from trust, the sand sloughed off some...Can You Make Your Marriage Better? Liz Weil's Answer is…
Upon seeing my copy of Liz Weil’s No Cheating, No Dying by our bed, my dear husband said, “I read the article in the (New York Times) Magazine. She’s kind of crazy. If it’s not broken, try to fix it.” He paused for a nanosecond. It was as...As They Appear
There’s that whole thing when you are driving about things appearing smaller—or perhaps it’s larger—then they really are. Put another way—the thing you imagine would be pretty straightforward isn’t necessarily so simple. If I have...Lone Snow Day
What is this was the one and only snow day of winter 2012? Elder teen got to sleep late, go to Chinese, then rehearsal (those theater folks are every bit as we’ll-play-anyway as the basketball team) and even went to a play. The younger teen got in chai, reading,...On Glumness & Laughter & Not Being Isolated
Friday, I felt pretty glum. The what-I-should-do isn’t lining up directly with what-I-want-to-do, and there were some contentious moments this week I took a little too personally and on like that. I know that at times like this the best thing to do is sleep...In Another's Shoes
In our house, politics is not a hushed topic. So, it’s not out of the blue that the young teen is particularly engaged in politics (and of course, cooking). He started a Save the Earth club in third grade. He got into the birthday party as fundraiser of his own...That Feminist Word & the Mom Blog–& Me
Before being included on a list of feminist mom blogs this week (on Ms. Magazine’s blog, natch) I found myself experience a moment of anxiety about whether my blog “counted” as a feminist mom blog. Yeah, I know, this seems a bit cuckoo as my last...Getting Through a Day: Here's How We Did It
How to manage a teenager stage managing a musical, a nine year-old plus papa skiing, a younger teenager performing in a choral concert and a four year-old likely to be disruptive during the concert in the church? You depend on the kindness of your friends. Saskia...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Louis Vuitton Installment
We get the New York Times delivered on Sundays. The rest of the week—and even, at this point, for many Sunday stories—I read my NYT online. The physical paper started arriving as a most wonderful baby welcome gift from Lucien’s godmother nearly 14...Weekend
We decided it would be nice to spend a couple of days in the Berkshires—pretty place, staff development days at one school, a tiny bit of work this direction and besides we got a good deal on a nice place to stay—and so off we went. The added and...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The What Colors Are Your Markers (& Jackets) Installment
Last week I downsized our extensive marker, colored pencil and crayon collection from out of control back to approaching reasonability. A friend and the preschool made out quite well (although how many of the markers—at our house, the friend’s house and...My Life is Not Scripted
I know that for myself, I have this wish to be completely, entirely, one thousand percent present for my children. And, at the same time and diametrically opposed, I totally want to flee sometimes. To add to this confusion, I know that such unconditional and...Mistakes in the Texas Era
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about mistakes. Parents spend an awful lot focused upon them (how many we make and how to help our kids feel okay about theirs). The role model of the first grade teacher misspelling something in the morning letter to class and...The B&B
After a three-day visit from my mom—one that involved some tasty cooking with the younger teen, some playing with the little girl and some clearing out of lots of stuff with me—we enjoyed a three-day visit by our lovely artist friend and then a weekend...Two Words
I’ve been a bit slower on the blog the past couple of weeks—freelancing, cleaning my house, this weekend just racing around from event to event to event—and while I want to write a short, smart essay to start the week off, that’s not happening....Small Things
I spent time yesterday trying to think about how to say something along the lines of for however many big, important things matter there are also so many small and seemingly unimportant things that occupy our days. I wanted to say that those things matter, too, if...Would You Wear This Tee?
Would you wear this tee? Answer: yes, if I didn’t have two teenagers! ** With two teenagers, a nine and a four-year-old, however, I absolutely will bowl for access to abortion as part of the National Network of Abortion Funds’ Bowl for Access effort....E-Edition
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