Standing In The Shadows
Noting
A few things: I’m just going to list ‘em, because I can. On Saturday, I will co-facilitate a workshop essentially about gender wars on the playground (in the media, classroom, or at grandmother’s house) called When Boys Wear Pink. It’s at the...Words that Go Together (Today): Feminism, Family, Free to Be, Bowling
Yesterday afternoon a room packed with CLPP conference goers listened and participated in a discussion during our workshop “When Boys Wear Pink.” The frame I offered was this: “As a parent (to a pink-loving young boy) I was so surprised that it was...Catastrophe, in Full–the Nields!
Amongst the little things that make life super nice I’d count this one: when I listen to Pandora and Pandora surprises me with the Nields. Full disclosure: Nerissa and Katryna are amongst my most talented real-life friends, yet I was a fan long before that was...Accidents, & Bowling
On the way home from town yesterday evening, much to her dismay, Saskia had a little pee accident. “I don’t know what happened,” she said. “The pee came out of nowhere.” Accidents happen. She endured about three damp blocks on foot, and...Backyard Party
Picture little girls on swings and in young women’s arms. Picture a nearly ninth grader playing a Frisbee game with twentysomethings. Picture two third grade boys certain young adults dancing with beer bottles in hand are drunk and taking great delight in...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Princess Week Installment
A friend let me know—and not because she was headed to Target and wondered whether I’d like her to pick something up for me—that the big chain has declared this National Princess Week. Target urges you to “Celebrate Your Inner Princess.”...Kittens in the Time of Climate Change
I’ve come to one simple conclusion this weekend: teaching Zumba to four-to-seven year-olds is like herding kittens. Complete with water breaks. It’s also true that when one of your BFF’s refuses to participate (as four year-olds and others are wont...What Do Feminist Preschoolers' Mothers Feel? The Marketing Breeds Anger & Lots of Princesses Installment
A friend who’d read some of the chatter on my Facebook page in regards to little girls and princess marketing, and 13 year-old daughters, their feminist mothers and makeup noted with surprise that people sound angry. She has a princess-loving little girl...Rumpled
I love the way this image captures the slip-slide of an elementary school concert. Or perhaps, it’s how I feel much of the time, like the kid with the black and the white sock. I’m a bit rumpled. Speaking of the elementary school, there’s a goal to...Doubled
The one piece of twin advice I ever sought out—not for myself—turns out, I’m told, to be very good advice indeed: prepare to spend the early nursing months shirtless. Make sure that you have comfortable “stations” ready for the task...Adulthood, Motherhood, Not-Motherhood, Sendakhood, More
Here’s how you confirm your status as an adult: you continue to squeeze the nearly done tube of toothpaste even when the shiny new tube sits seductively in the drawer. At times, I’d have to admit it feels as if I’ve poured every fiber in my body into...Mothers & Humans
At just before nine Sunday morning six eighth grade boys wished me a Happy Mother’s Day as we pulled into the parking lot for their Frisbee tournament. A few had forgotten to say the same to their mothers. One has two dads and the kids reminded him he...On Shoelaces
If you give a man (or woman, 2012, baby) a fish, he’ll eat for a day. If you give a man (or woman) a fishing pole, he’ll eat forever. If you give your child sneakers with laces, he’ll learn to tie them and be able to wear any damn shoes he...Time is a Mindbleep
Fourteen years ago (Saturday), at one minute after noon on a sunny day much like yesterday—hot, yellow light after a perfect cool morning—my second boy emerged into the world. Peaceful there in the belly until 25 minutes before his arrival, that would, in...The Tuesday Three
These days I come into Tuesday with force. Mondays, I try hard to hit the ground running, and get loads of work done. I just began to take a yoga class early evening Mondays, and it’s a new yoga effort for me, a flow class. I am giddy in love with it....Actual, Real Basics
In the best-case scenario—or even a less-than-best-case scenario—when it comes to babies and parents, love is a given. The basics of babies aren’t about how to carry them or where to have them sleep or which diapers to use. I think they are about how...The Tuesday Three
I am definitely having a little grass-is-greener moment here. Pretty sure another word for this is burnout. Plus, some solo parent time this week while the dear husband goes off on some work trips this week has me in a state of anticipatory anxiety about the...Hopes, Dreams, Survival
“ABORTION IS ABOUT WOMEN’S HOPES AND DREAMS. ABORTION IS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL FOR WOMEN.” –GEORGE TILLER, M.D. Last night, I re-read this quote on the header for a new Tumblr, Sharing Hopes and Dreams, created by the National Network of...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? The Backwards Dress Installment
My daughter dresses almost exclusively in hand-me-downs (score!). Many of her clothes are things the adult females in her midst wish just came in shopping bags their ways, only bigger. However it goes, Saskia always finds ways to make clothes all hers. The most recent...The Tuesday Three
This is week number three of the Tuesday Three and I am beginning to see a pattern, in that if it’s not a three-day weekend, I am kind of soaring from the thrill of leaving my house early on a Monday evening for my fabulous yoga flow class. Clarification: I...On Babies & Birth Control & Our Household
The thing about my home… office (it’s a kitchen counter, people) is that everything—and not just papers—can end up there. The magic wand, the plastic binoculars, the golden yellow marker I’d have called “mango,” and of...Mostly Nothing
Weekend update dates me. But here’s a mini-one anyway. On Saturday, we didn’t do all that much. With the little girl and the younger teen I walked to town for lemons and treats. There was a rushed co-op stop with the younger teen later in the day. I made...The Tuesday Three
Last week, the little girl enjoyed the typewriter’s novelty at the eighth grade project presentations. The computer’s inner workings were this project’s focus. How I’d forgotten about sticky keys. Wow. I haven’t forgotten about determined...Comes Around to the Village
Random observations on a Friday, the last day of middle school, the last day of third grade: I’ve got lots to say about how gorgeously held my middle guy was (second of four, but so much the MIDDLE ONE) during middle school. Picture, thousand words, what what;...Dad Tries
I’m not much of a Hallmarkian, so Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day aren’t big deal holidays (or really even marked) in our house. Father’s Day, though, in the world of written work, elicits publication of some strong...The Tuesday Three
When the wonderful midday yoga teacher somehow gets everyone to face the back wall instead of the windows and then has everyone in downward dog, what happens is this: you see the gorgeous old buildings across Main Street and the sky above from upside down. I have to...What Do Feminst Preschoolers' Mothers Wear? The What-to-do-About-Their-Toenails Installment
As you might know, this spring I went to have my first ever pedicure complete with purple nail polish. You could say yoga made me do it, the intense desire for my toenails to smudge the yellow wall just like all the women with painted toenails do. Anyway, this...Feministsphere & The Tuesday Three
Hot in the feministsphere this week is the Slaughter article on whether women can have it all (spoiler alert: no) and reactions to the Pixar female-lead movie Brave. I went to see Brave with Saskia, Addy, Addy’s mom, Megan, and Ezekiel. It was take your...Summer Wish List
This is my third summer wish list (you can read the first and the second if you’d like). When I return to the task, I’m always struck that there was so much I wanted to do and didn’t do and so much I wanted to do and did do. I realized yesterday when...Checking In
My friends know I’m really, really good for the check-in. A call or an email, even a postcard may come from me, often the call comes in the morning after kids are school bound and while I make my way home on foot. I have a very old flip phone I refuse to give...What the Use of “Adopted” in Quotes Has to Do With Smoothies
Sometimes, blogging, like so many things in life, is about showing up. Seeing what happens? Well, I’d like to do one better than that. Ahem. This may be too lofty a goal, though. Ahem. But I did want to write briefly about the Katie Holmes’ news, and its...Summer Puzzles
Summer feels summery—and not. I’ve been working a little too hard, shuttling kids lots, and affirming to the four year-old now in the Upstairs Group at preschool that indeed, her fingers must have grown longer and that’s why she’s an Upstairs...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Wear? A Bathing Suit Installment
Many of the little girl’s clothes are hand-me-downs (score!). At the moment, for all that’s in her clothes, she far prefers “tuwuly” dresses. That’s to say, she likes dresses that twirl. Other than a steady stream of underwear, these...Science Fair GIVEAWAY Plus Tuesday Three (Contain Your Excitement)
Last night, I sweat up a storm in yoga class. As I’ve mentioned, my experience with yoga appears to be deepening. I am in it, now, actively engaged, eager to learn. It’s fun. This sense of discovery is what we hope young people have as students. Because...July Postcard
A friend of Remy’s left his hat in the car en route to tennis earlier this week. Now, tennis takes place from 1:00-4:00 PM (I know, right on hot days like this week’s?) and so a baseball cap is a smart thing to wear (just like a bicycle helmet, it only...Summery Sunday & the Tuesday Three
You have to love a moment like this one. I took two teens, one nine year-old and a four year-old to dinner. The conversation moved to jokes, obviously—and our resident smallest jokester turned out to have brilliant delivery. Saskia: “Why did the cow cross...A Fine Tooth Comb
The lice crisis began innocently enough. “We found nits,” my friend Ellen said over the phone. I drove Remy and Gabe and Remy home from tennis and sent them to Ellen’s porch so she could check them. “Nits,” Remy announced just a few...Hair
If Monday afternoon seemed for longhaired Remy a personal licefest 2012, amazingly by Wednesday morning the coast of his scalp was clear. Pediculicide, groovy natural potions, alcohol, witch hazel, olive oil, vacuum cleaners, dryers, and 14 dollar nit comb later, it...How Camp is a Second Home
The incredible thing about sending your child off to overnight camp for a third summer is this: you don’t have butterflies when the car pulls out of the driveway and you wave goodbye and you don’t wonder whether he’s okay. You know he’s at...A Day Late (The Tuesday Three on Wednesday)
Amongst the casualties of my busier-than-expected summer is this blog. I keep chasing my tail (well, children and deadlines to be honest) and then, poor blog. I can’t quite keep up. The Tuesday Three arrives on Wednesday morning this week—and that sums up...Letters to Camp
This is a letter to the editor written by Biocitizen campers at another of Remy’s camps The two weeks—well, 13 days—of Journey’s End Farm Camp are nearly complete. Tomorrow, I go get my guy. I cannot wait to hug him and his requisite layer of...Reunion with a Camper
Hayloft There’s really nothing so fine as having missed your adorable child while he was happily ensconced at camp (missive number two reads in part, “Camp is still fun.”) and then going to pick him up and receiving a massive hug. It’s like one...Comparisons & Tuesday Three
It’s that moment in summer when the light shifts and September looms and I’m definitely feeling as if I’ve done more chasing of my writer’s tail and juggling of my kids (not literally) than relaxing. As if with four kids and a...Things You Learn About Your Town at the Co-op
Don’t get me wrong. I love my co-op. Tuesday evening, though, I zipped over radiating good intentions of the ten-items-or-less variety. Most pressing items were milk, lemons and sugar. The first was for the small gal’s bedtime routine. The second two...Forty-Nine Random(ish) Things About Me on My Forty-Ninth Birthday
Self-portrait. If you know me or read my blog, this is mostly not new news. But this idea popped into my head, seemed fun—and boom, ping—here I go. I work most of the time standing up at my kitchen counter. The windows in front of me are the best, most...Defining Traits Plus Tuesday Three
Four things about my four and a half year-old daughter are 1) she’s “learning to cooperate,” a line I fed her and she knows how to use in distressed moments of impending timeouts to signal her desire that she not receive the timeout, 2) she’s...In a Jam
Yesterday, I made four batches of jam: nectarine, wild Maine blueberry, peach and peach-jalapeño. Can I even admit that I have a few more peaches left? I’ll make one last run at jam today. I actually over-jammed. I hit jamming fatigue. I actually felt...Upstairs Plus Tuesday Three
A rainy morning is the kind my little gal gets to start her official last year of preschool. The school is called Sunnyside. I’ll let the rain remind me that even though at times—for parents and kids alike—growing up feels bittersweet, and it’s...First Day of School Photos Or Not
Two of my kids are headed to their second days at school. For the preschooler, half the class went in on Monday, half on Tuesday (she was Tuesday) so today, for her, is the first “full” day, as in the first day with every Thursday Sunnysider. For the...Time Lapse: Neighborhood Edition
Yesterday, we had our annual Not Labor Day Not Block Party. The event lives up to its name every year, even though sometimes it does happen to fall on Labor Day—people from our neck of the ‘hood come, along with others. Our party planning methods very...Bullied, Blog Friends, Super Good Tuesday Three
I “met” Carrie Goldman the way so many of us did: I read her powerful blog post about her daughter Katie being bullied because she liked her Star Wars lunchbox. Along with the let girls be whoever they damn well please aspect of Carrie’s parenting,...Parenthood It Gets Better Project Begins with It (Sorta) Sucks
Two friends visiting: three adults to one baby, good odds Here is my completely obvious realization—that absolutely bears repetition: to become a parent, heck, to be a parent is tough. You think to yourself things like everyone else does it (better and easier...Pie Is So Sweet…
… I’m writing the Tuesday Three on a Monday. Here’s a little event that if you’re local to me—include the Berkshires because this is fun—you might like to hop on to downtown Northampton for it. It’s a pie contest at Tuesday...Bluest Skies in September
The sky on Tuesday was clear blue perfection. A Tuesday, even—and so I thought, of course, about that impossibly blue sky 11 years earlier when our sense of what we could trust fell out from under us. I thought about how unable I was to know what I could say...How the New Year Began plus Three on Tuesday
You know that movie that has the line, “They’re Baaaaaaaaaaacccck?” Yeah, the lice returned, whether it a new infestation from a brand new source or some devious little lurkers. Eeek. Yuck. Eww. Curse word of your choice. The bright side was that we...What Do Feminist Preschoolers Think? The Boys Don't Wear Installment
Yesterday, which happened to be my eldest’s 17th birthday (pause, yes, WOW, move along) he and I went to pick up Saskia at her pal Addy’s house. Saskia and Addy made felt crowns during their play date. Given the birthday in our midst, I suggested to Addy,...Glory Days, Glory Kids, Tuesday Three
The glory days are here, those clear and bright nectar moments when the air seems like a perfect touch upon your skin. Much as I really can’t stand winter, I am unable to deny that if it’s required to have autumn, then it must be so, because these days are...Very Short Post on Parent-Teen Relations
I have this document open with some titles of essays I want to write. The first one is: How to Avoid Fighting with Your Teen. This morning, I realized the essay itself is very brief: Do not talk to talk to your teen. Sometimes, talking is good, too.The Third Boy Turns Ten
My littlest guy turns ten today (sing it!). I can safely say that for me the first year of his life I gave over in this way I couldn’t have with the others. I knew he’d grow up, something I wasn’t entirely convinced about with the first one. I knew...E-Edition
Best Of 2024
Readers Choice 2024
