Masculinity and Its Discontents
My country for a comb
I’m not entirely clear what this has to do with masculinity, but it’s chilly in Austin today, and so I wore my sweatshirt hood up on the walk from home to bus and then bus to office, and therefore had cause to reflect, once again, on the inadequacy of the...I'm a total fatty mcfatterson
I was messing around with my wife’s tape measure last night — she’d had it out to measure her pregnant belly — and I thought to myself, "hey, let’s see what my waistline is these days." I’ve put on about ten pounds in the...Girlz to Men Poon-Tang Clan
Interesting article in the Village Voice about a Brooklyn subculture of young, thugged-out Black and Hispanic lesbians, women who’ve taken male gangsta rappers as their models. They treat their femme lesbian counterparts like property ("It’s a...
A word from Mr. ?You feminists aren?t answering the questions I WANT ANSWERED, dammit.?
Amanda over at Pandagon has a great post up today riffing on my recent ‘plaint that the writing in the feminist blogosphere is too activist-minded and not personal enough for my tastes. Talking about a letter to an advice column in which a feminist wonders why...For those new to M.A.I.D. . . .
Welcome, Pandagon-ers and any others who have found there way here today for the first time. Because we STILL don’t have much in the way of an accessible archive, Here are some links to some previous posts that we’re proud of. Because you already have a...The Old Ball and Chain Gang
The other day I found myself repeating just the kind of paranoid macho crap I’m always railing against. A friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while asked how things were going with Anja (my sweetie for a year this coming Thursday!, for those of you who...The beginning of an essay I'll never complete about Texas and masculinity and other things too
My first night in Texas, in January of last year, I was taught to shoot a pistol by the father of the ex-boyfriend of my fiance outside a tiny home in the middle of a mostly abandoned ranch in the farm country outside Gainesville. Coyotes weren’t baying outside,...The post-colonial semiotics of plugging away on a sticky wicket
I found this article at the website of a Jamaican newspaper pretty fascinating. The author, sociologist Peter Espeut, argues that the Caribbean nations made the decision to spend billions of dollars they couldn’t really afford to host this year’s Cricket...RIP David Halberstam
I heard on the radio that David Halberstam died in a car crash yesterday. I’m not usually bothered by the deaths of people I don’t know (the Virginia Tech killings, for instance, mostly left me unaffected), but Halberstam’s death upsets me. His book...I'm off the market / Men are killer(s)
I proposed, she accepted. We’re engaged. Second time’s a charm, as they say. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to think and perhaps write about being engaged and how it redefines me as a man among men and women (ugh, did I really just write that?), but...I walk to the store with my penis: a short discourse on the embodiedness of gender
The picture above, of the melancholy-looking pregnant woman, is of my wife Jessica, who’s due with our first child, a girl-child, on May 23. I’m posting it for two reasons. The first is that I think it’s cute. She hasn’t had the easiest...In which I slowly work myself up to picking a fight with a conservative rather than a liberal for a change
I’m working on my response to this article, "Has Feminism Failed?", that young conservative hotshot Ross Douthat (pictured) published in The Weekly Standard in 2005, but in the meantime I thought you might find it interesting and perhaps...Radio Hack / Barkley, again
So, lately, the new, hip, millennial Radio Shack that sells groovy stuff like them newfangled ipod walkman gadgets has this ad on TV in which a John-Cusack-in-High-Fidelity, presumably barely-employed slacker-type guy has his records strewn all over the apartment as...Temporary ?head?er while I try to think of a good pun about the Genarlow Wilson Case
Two things srike me about the case of Genarlow Wilson, the Georgia kid who was sentenced to 10 years in jail for committing oral sex with intent to enjoy with a 15-year-old (he was 17 at the time) at a New Year’s Party. First, I heard today (NPR, Tavis Smiley)...The lines we draw
In order to live our lives without taking on an almost unbearable burden of guilt and responsibility, we draw a series of lines beyond which we refuse to trace the web of harm we’re potentially inflicting on others. When we hit our wives, we feel responsible for...Flight of the Conchords and their subtly misogynistic tinge and my love/hate relationship with hipster doods
I don’t think I’ve delved too deep, on this site, into the nuances of my conflicted relationship with the hipster male, but it’s a subject of some interest to me, in a I-hate-them-because-secretly-I-want-to-be-them kind of way. I’ve never quite...I turn 31, still get a kick out of making a stuffed puppet monkey masturbate itself
For your viewing pleasure, a short video we made on Saturday night at the tail end of my 31st birthday party. The monkey was one of my gifts — I’m pretty sure it was intended for my soon-to-arrive daughter, but I’m not sure I can give it to her in...Digby Revealed: Consider me (mildly) chastened
For the first year or two of reading Digby, the influential liberal blogger who until this week was completely pseudonymous, I just assumed that s/he was a man. At some point I was tipped off to the possibility that, since s/he didn’t claim a particular gender,...more masturbatory monkeymen
Er, see previous post, re beating meat and spanking monkeys.On being a warrior
Over at Daddy Dialectic, there’s a post about fathers changing diapers (in this case, on a plane) and how surprised the author is whenever he runs into the notion that men don’t like changing diapers, not to mention actual men who don’t like changing...Wallace Shawn, Fathers and Daughters, Jenny Holzer (I can't think of a clever header for this one)
Dan’s post the other day on how much responsibility we choose to take on and how much our day-to-day existences and our consciences simply cannot bear – “We draw a series of lines beyond which we refuse to trace the web of harm we’re...Pigs are Men (aka the Trojan Hog)
Charles Barkley once again justifies our admiration of him
Perhaps this is growing tiresome for our readers, but as long as Sir Charles keeps on giving, I’m going to keep on taking. This week it’s an interview he did with The New Republic (they interviewed him, so far as I can tell, because he’s awesome and...On Becoming a Man at 42 (part one of two)
Well, I’ve got to begin somewhere. I’ve told you all that I’m (along with three partners) opening a bar, and that in so doing am discovering manlinesses within myself that I’d never participated in, never thought I had in me, never really...I'm a Sexist
I came across this fucking awful photo the other day, oddly, while looking for Jenny Holzer images and, try as I might, I just don’t see Mom putting the kids in these shirts, I see Dad – red-wth-rage-and-righteousness, unspeakably ignorant, utterly...Rudy Giuliani: overgrown nerd of a candidate
I was pacing around the parking lot of a restaurant the other day, trying to get Jolie to sleep, and couldn’t help but notice the shiny new Hummer (I believe it was an H2) nearby with the “Giuliani ‘08” bumper sticker. And I got really angry,...Lamar Latrell, John Goodman and the homophobic male imagination
I remember this speech, delivered by John Goodman’s Coach Harris toward the end of Revenge of the Nerds, as being much longer, but it’s testament to Goodman’s skill as an actor that he was able to make these 77 words so resonant, so iconic....On Becoming a Man at 42 (part two of two): The Powers that Be Me
As I recently read in a student paper, “Ultimate power corrupts ultimately.” Hayley, in response to my last post, wrote that it’s “interesting to note the respect afforded you as a business owner. . . . You are acquiring stature and...Raising a Whole World of Heroes: Fatherhood Re(de)fined
If you’re looking for something interesting, smart and short (and free!) to read, consider George Scialabba’s Divided Mind, a 60-page collection of some of his best essays that he’s conveniently posted on his website for readers to download (for...The Brocabulary Rises
My older brother, aware of my interest in all man-pun-related-activities, passes on this news of a recent book deal: Good news for book publishing! Sometime Gawker hottie, Grub Street writer and heretofore-uncredited coiner of the term "douche" Daniel Maurer...Barkley Barkley Barkley
You may not have bothered to read the New Republic interview with Charles Barkley that Dan Mentioned last week, but you should at least watch this commercial that was posted with it, especially in light of all the parenthood discussion that’s been going on...The Good Nerd
After playing the nerd card last week against Rudy "I’m a giant nerd" Giuliani, I felt a bit guilty, because although it’s true that "most nerds, like most people, are not ennobled by their experience of being persecuted," it’s...Extra! Extra! Hitch brawls with God, Fallwell – refuses to pull punches, even when opponent dead!
Well, I didn’t give my Barkley post more than five hours before I found this. I’m no fan of Christopher Hitchens, especially in the past few years, and more recently, after reading Dan’s post of a few months back and then Hitch’s sexist (to say...Men in/and Clothes, or, I love my Billabong Jeans so much
If ever Jamie and I get to the point, with this blog, where we feel comfortable putting up one of those "donate to us" buttons that many of the better-trafficked blogs have, I think my personal button will say something along the lines of "Help Me Buy a...Jolie comes into the world
My daughter, Jolie Marybeth Grogan-Oppenheimer, was born on Thursday, May 17 at 12:41 p.m. I’ll be writing about it all in a more specifically masculinist vein in the coming weeks, months, years (etc. — I promise this won’t turn into a daddyblog, but...You've Come a Long Way, Baby / The Handwriting on the Little Blue Text Booklet
Becoming a man, yet keeping my feminine wiles and ways, a follow up:In the bar partnership, I should note that, my newly discovered manliness in the wider world aside, there are ways in which I take a decidedly “female” role. In partner meetings (I have...Liability, by Daphne Gottlieb
Daphne Gottlieb is a dear friend of mine from back in the day, and a fine, fine poet/performer person. She wrote this, the relevance of which I think needs no amplification: Liability One late beautiful afternoon, as everything in my apartment glistens, gilded with...Sunday night Jolie-blogging
I’ve tried to show some restraint on the baby-blogging, but it’s late Sunday night and, man, my baby’s beautiful (not that yours isn’t, whoever you are). I was holding her a few nights ago, maybe 1, 2 in the morning, and Willie Nelson was on...Guest Post: Big Papi's Big Hugs
[Today’s guest poster is Jeremy Sharrard, a native of Springfield, Massachusetts and a longtime Red Sox fanatic. Some years ago, in a burst of ill-considered Sox-thusiasm, Sharrard created Stathounds.com, which promised to grow into the definitive Red Sox...Looking at Women (again) and its discontents
Amanda at Pandagon has a nice post up about an issue that we’ve done some talkin’ ’bout here at MAID — men and their looking at women. She’s annoyed not with men (like us) who like looking at attractive women, but rather with men who...I'll Be Back
As some of you know, I bought a bar (actually, a building with a bar downstairs and an apartment up, and actually, not just I but I and three partners) here in Turners Falls, MA. The project has shifted, recently from planning and demo to execution, to rebuilding a...It's 'cause the gays
And I was wondering why I’m so bad about writing thank-you notes. It’s not because I’m a procrastinating, insensitive prick. But rather … h/t AndrewIs there a correlation between the birth of my daughter and my diminished need to shower?
Since Jolie was born two weeks ago, I’ve noticed (or believe that I’ve noticed) the following physiological changes in myself: I’ve lost weight.I don’t seem to need my morning coffee nearly as much — i.e. I used to be very groggy until I...Digby and the Tiny Silicone Penis
The blogger Digby, about whom I’ve written before (I think the proper English is "who I’ve written about before"), has a nice post up about the increasingly naked, and undeniably bizarre, Republican-ish fixation with various cartoon-y conceptions...Jolie Marybeth ____??????
After my wife Jessica and I decided—around month six of her pregnancy—that we were going to hyphenate our daughter’s last name, I developed a few jokes to explain to friends, family and random people I met at parties why we were giving our...And speaking of Presidents and body parts . . .
. . . There’s been something of a to-do about a certain presidential candidate’s supposed show of cleavage on the Senate floor last week. There was a Washington Post column about Ms. C’s attire, and then a Times Op-ed follow up (I’m afraid that...Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much
I’m often someone told to "lighten up" when I respond to something I find offensive, but in thie Allison Stokke brouhaha, I guess I’m just a, crass, jerk-off, dude, or as I prefer, DOOD! Or at least, I’m someone who knows when to pick his...A Real Looker
Yesterday I went running and, as I passed the big hill on the park’s edge, one of a group of four high-school-aged girls sitting on the hill yelled down, rather aggressively, “Nice ass!” I called back “Why thank you,” and kept running. I...No, really, I was a pole vaulter, and a wrestler, and no, I guess it doesn't get much more homoerotic than that.
Over at I Blame the Patriarchy, the blamer-in-chief writes a bit about Alison Stokke, the high school pole vaulter who, thanks to a random sports blogger posting a picture of her on his site that he bought through the online archives of her local newspaper, has become...Back from Vacay — Once again writing about nerds
Thanks to the good offices of my older brother, Mark "I have a thing for bowties" Oppenheimer, I’ve just published an essay in The New Haven Review of Books, which is Mark’s most recent editorial love child.My essay in the Review is titled...Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much
I’m often someone told to "lighten up" when I respond to something I find offensive, but in thie Allison Stokke brouhaha, I guess I’m just a, crass, jerk-off, dude, or as I prefer, DOOD! Or at least, I’m someone who knows when to pick his...Marriage counseling and the contortions of macho passivity
There’s a really fascinating article in this week’s New York Times Magazine about one particular marriage counseling "group" and about the nature of relationship counseling in general.I’ve been in counseling with my wife for not quite two...The Men of MAID are dunce-ified
The men of MAID have gotten a bit of a smackdown, over the last day or two, from Amanda Marcotte, the prime mover of Pandagon and former blogmaster for the John Edwards presidential campaign (for those of you who don’t remember, she was basically forced to...Wow
I’m not sure what I think — scratch that, I think too many things at once about this woman and her shtick (which is not to say it’s bad shtick or bad to be shticky, just that it’s shtick) to articulate right now. I will ponder. Perhaps You will...“My Balls” — for your consideration
As much as I hate to link to anything that that embarrassment to mankind Perez Hilton has written (and as much as I hate to admit that I read PerezHilton.com pretty much every day), he’s got the hot download with Cisco Adler’s new song "My...Monday morning father-blogging
Dave Neiwert has a nice post up today about the masculine rewards of being a Stay-At-Home Dad (SAHD, as the kids in the know say). He writes:You see, for the past six years, while I’ve been editing my blog and writing my books, my primary job description has...A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Is Like a Sword of Invincibility + 6
I’m about a quarter of the way through Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters, the new book by Jessica Valenti, one of the founders of Feministing.com and an all-around doer of good works and sayer of noble things. I...Men get depressed sometimes, and they take pills
I haven’t written much, or maybe anything, about my love affair with Lexapro, which is the brand name for the SSRI escitalopram, which is basically a glammed-up version of Celexa created so that the pharmaceutical company would have a "new" drug to...Martha Nussbaum makes Harvey Mansfield her bitch owns Harvey Mansfield
If you enjoy a good philosophical ass-whupping as much as I do, you should read this review by Martha Nussbaum, philosophical ass-whupper extraordinaire, of the book "Manliness," which was apparently written in an extended fit of ignorance and self-loathing...
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