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After a week away my already ailing raspberries have been overtopped by bindweed. I’ve only seen a few flowers and it hasn’t set seed yet, but the roots and plants are bad enough. I have set out early a few mornings this week to rid the patch of the...Tabula Rasa
I’ve never been a good speller. My mother says it’s because I’m lazy and deceitful. Maybe she was talking about something else. I bring this up today because I initially misspelled tabula rasa as tabla rasa. Instead of Latin for “blank...Jimsonweed
In an undoubtedly futile effort to instill a love of reading in the boarders we read to them every night. We are not slavishly devoted to the canon, so have read a Calvin and Hobbes anthology… more than once. Currently the eldest and I are enjoying the Series...Sitting on the dock and siphoning.
This was before my time, but I’m told that my mother’s family spent a part of the summer on a salt water inlet in Rudailand. Oddly, my mother was an avid water skier and trusted her father to drag her about the water skittering around blind corners. These...Fertilization blues
Until last year I avoided growing corn. I can buy it at nearly any farm for next to nothing and even though it’s not quite as fresh as garden corn, it tastes better than the week old stuff (if you’re lucky) at the big grocery stores. But last year I...Volunteer Tomatoes
Seed catalogs sell a lot of F1 hybrids: crosses between two inbred lines. Inbreeding sounds pretty icky (I hope), but in garden plants we don’t really worry about it. Inbred lines are kept genetically isolated: they’re not allowed to have funny business...In fair Verona where we lay our scence
Young Juliet foolishly threw her lot in with a Montague, Romeo, saying “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet.” She dismissed his last name because Romeo was a hunk. She’d barely had a conversation...Learning to love leeks
A colleague at work spent part of a beautiful afternoon last week helping his 12 year old grand-niece find 30 tree leaves from an assigned list. The project, at least as I saw it, had no particular pedagogic purpose; though they did take a lovely walk. Some of the...Butt-drupes
Standing like sentries on either side of our decrepit porch are two semi-maintained holly bushes. These, like all of the remaining foundation plantings predate our ownership of the house. I tend not to get attached to shrubbery. I guess I’d promote that as a...Soybeans and stomach aches
This year is the first time I’ve seen field soybeans growing in the valley. I don’t mean to say that this is the first time it’s been done as I’m sure it’s not, but I happened to notice a few fields growing in Hadley. Of course I’ve...Winter is Coming
My soup beans have been drying in the garage since mid-September. The boss senses things like this from a distance. Though she doesn’t go into the garage much she has a sixth, or seventh, sense for disorder. Once she’d effectively, if temporarily, subdued...Dinosaurs molting
I have seven Buff Orpington chickens that look essentially identical. Tiny, who has always been a character, sticks out because she’s small and has a few black tail feathers. Despite her size, Tiny has what passes for charisma in a chicken. Until I reinforced...Metabolism
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, we now have a wood stove to help induce narcoleptic states in the adult human and feline residents. We used it for the first time a few weeks ago when the evening temperature hinted at a cold night. The household hangers-on gathered...Yummy
In my blinkered view of the world, the word “yummy” often refers to foods that are probably not all that yummy. I usually hear “yummy” snuggled right up next to something I’m not supposed to like. Yummy brussels sprouts, or yummy light...Wasted Effort
I snuck some beets into pizza sauce. Hidden under toppings and cheese they slipped under the beetdar. A week later I served the same sauce as topping for pasta and the eldest indigene caught on: “this is blood red and sweet.” He set down his fork; this...Rock Brussels
After the first freeze Brussels sprouts turn even more delicious. Not so much that just anybody will eat them. I’m glad they don’t, because the boss and I can tear through what six or seven plants produce with no trouble whatsoever. Brussels sprouts are...Chicken rustling
The Canterbury Tales includes a few stories that reward the careful reader. They’re hardly “ROFL” type laughing, but by the time you’ve waded through the new vocabulary, figured out how to pronounce the Middle English and looked up a few of the...Peanut shells
At work I often sit at a desk for too many hours (more than one). Despite this lethargy, I use up food and by the afternoon I tend to get peckish. Recently I’ve been bringing salted peanuts in the shell. They really taste better than the pre-shelled ones and...Possum
Most evidence suggests that cats “domesticated” themselves. Sometime after humans began farming we began storing grain. The first applicants for post-agricultural domestication were probably rodents, but they didn’t offer a very good deal: “you...Leaves are hip
Fire up your favorite internet search “engine” and poke in the word “oak.” Try the same thing with “oak tree.” This morning I did this exercise and was surprised at the difference. In Google, “Oak tree” yields...Cloacal Kiss
Aquatic critters usually produce jelly like eggs. Think frog spawn. A principle adaptation that allowed tetrapods to live on land was the amniotic egg. Tetrapods are the four footed vertebrate animals: platypuses, dogs, birds and even according to some definitions...Tear into some lettuce
Garrison Keillor famously claimed that July and August are the only times people in Lake Wobegon lock their cars at church; this keeps the other parishioners from sneaking bags of zucchini into their backseats. Voracious stem borers keep this from happening to me. I...Still Haven't Saved the World
We’ve had our first good snow or two, but a warm spell has left only a snowy patchwork. Two days before Christmas it rained all day so I opened up the hoop-hut to let some water in. For dinner I pulled a few carrots and radishes (we supplemented these meager...Duckling
I went to high school in Athens Greece because my parents lived there and they were unable to lose me during the move. We lived on a quiet street near some open fields and scrub (Greece is full of scrub), but mostly the area was suburban. Domestic animals are not...Fire!
According to an article in the October 28 Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS – pronounce as you see fit) by Van Le et al, primates appear to be hardwired to react quickly to snakes. Macaque monkeys raised without exposure to snakes have...Snow Peas
I brought in the first snow peas to feed to the ravening boarders. The youngest loves snow peas though he insists on dissecting them first. He removes the tiny immature peas to eat then tears into the crunchy flesh. Watching him unsettles me a bit. He clearly...Oocyan
Back in November an interloper showed up in our neighborhood. She was in the middle of a molt and didn’t look healthy at all. After posting “found chicken” notes on the local list serves a few times, I decided to keep her. She filled out nicely over...Warrigal Greens
I harvested the last spinach from the garden a few weeks ago and have been keeping a bag in the fridge. I finished it off last night in a little sauté with some garlic scapes. This went on some pasta with tomato sauce. Garlic scapes make everything taste...In my room
At 212 on Rolling Stone magazine’s list of “500 Greatest Songs of All Time” is “In My Room” sung by the Beach Boys and written by Brian Wilson and his buddy Gary Usher in Wilson’s bedroom when he was still a teen. Their age, in...Indigent Larva
This summer I’ve accepted a challenge: I’m spending a few weeks with unscheduled children. I’ve never had this extended “opportunity” before because I’ve always been occupied so the children have gone to summer camps. One of the...Salmonella
The concept of species is tough enough in vertebrates, where the most common definition is animals that interbreed and produce fertile offspring. Essentially the parents give their young a bit of their DNA. Bacteria are kind of free and easy with their DNA;...Separatist beetles
According to “Colours of conflict” an article on The Economist’s website, the pro-Russian rebels in Ukraine wear a multicolor ribbon to show their loyalty to Russia. They show the colors of the Order of St. George: orange and black. The Ukrainian...Fits in your mouth perfectly.
In a grainy video on YouTube, Ray comfort and Kirk Cameron discuss the “atheist’s nightmare.” Exhibit A, well and B too for that matter, is the Cavendish banana. The banana, they argue, was perfectly “designed” for consumption by humans:...Hobo
Despite their general indigence, my boarders have begun to do some minor tasks around the house (e.g. clear their dishes and feed the cats); they are participants in the work-life of the household. I’ve recently realized I know or have met several people who...Chopping kindling
I go canoe camping each summer with a group of friends. Every year we play kubb, a Sweedish game that partakes equally from horse shoes, bocce and somewhat more equally from beer. The object of kubb, as with most games is to win. Essentially five logs standing on one...On the borderline
We’ve been hearing a lot about the border recently. Not my indigent boarders, our southern border. One of our major political parties seems to think that an influx of frightened children means we should build a bigger wall. The Governor of Texas, Rick Perry, is...Ordering day
I ride the bus to work when the roads are too occluded with snow for safe biking. On the bus I can pick away at work on my computer, or play freecell. I can’t help but notice that there are other people on the bus; sometimes they do interesting things. This...Dangleberries
We’re been on “vacation” on the fractionally-less exclusive of Massachusetts’ barrier islands. One might be excused for imagining lazy days whiled away in the sun before cocktails on the lanai, but this is not the case. When the indigent...Dark Side of the Coop
April may be the cruelest month, but February doesn’t bestow wanton kindness. Even on clear days the sun doesn’t withholds heat and on most days it strains to break the clouds. This deprives us of the opportunity to synthesize vitamin D, and brings on...Porcelain Berries
I don’t think it’s still there, but a few years ago I complimented the bakers at the Hungry Ghost on a vine growing just outside their door. The berries were in various state of ripeness going from green through yellow to purple and blue. The plant had...Onion Seeding
Students tend to leave a lot of detritus behind when they leave the lecture hall I teach in. I usually check to see if anything looks valuable; supplementary income always helps. Usually though the debris field consists of oil stained picked over food containers. A...Ice cream man
I read Remembrance of Things Past twenty years ago so don’t actually remember the famous scene in which the narrator bites into a madeleine cake and is transported back to his youth. Your garden variety English nerd will point out (or Wikipedia) that the scene...Budnip
A few weeks ago my sister forwarded me a clip from the fretosphere featuring a young girl who had conducted an “experiment” with sweet potatoes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exBEFCiWyW0). Our hero, Elyse, took a conventional sweet potato and placed it in...Mexican Bean Beetle
A lot of my crops have been harvested. The onions and garlic are in and curing. Except for some remnants the potatoes are out. The peas have long been eaten and the first few plantings of green beans, carrots and lettuce are all spent. These have left big gaps that...Duck Boots
I have always been stingy with household climate control. Even when I lived in Texas I kept the air conditioner off. It was partly the expense; I barely had money for Lone Star tallboys back then and I had priorities. Beyond the money problem I worried about the...Indian Pipe
Each year I go with a collection of friends, the boarders and the boss to the Adirondacks for a camping and canoeing trip. We’ve been going for years and it has become one of the highlights of the year. This year was the first that the whole Rounds inequitable...Raising Boarders
Raising boarders My onion seeds germinated quickly and uniformly. But they suffered from ass over tea-kettle syndrome. Onion seeds send up an enormous shoot before their roots really get a chance to sink at all. Perhaps “enormous” gives you an unreasonable...Bt
The boss loves Brussels sprouts. Her father bakes them with olive oil and salt (he has a heavy hand with both) and she pops them like candy. So I always grow a few plants. I’ve never had overwhelming success. Sure we’ll eat Brussels sprouts a few times a...Physics
String theory gives me the howling fantods. These theoretical strings are the most elementary of particles: one dimensional “objects” that have different quantum states. It is postulated (love that passive voice) that matter arises from these strings and...Chewing on the grindstone
I’m pretty happy with my tomato harvest, I haven’t thought that in a long time. Late blight, early blight and septoria take their toll. Even though I grew all blight resistant varieties, they weren’t impervious to the various fungi. Nevertheless,...Mangoes
Sixteen years ago, before the boss hired me, we went to Europe with two others to ride on our bicycles in a big circle. It’s hard to imagine why one would go so far just to ride in a circle, but we were young and therefore quite foolish. We started in Bonn,...Berry experts
I have small path of Alpine strawberries that doesn’t get a lot of attention. I weed it a few times a year and that really seems to be all it needs. The only real threat is the bindweed, so as long as I pull that back occasionally, I get berries. The youngest...Muck
The winter has felt long. It’s probably more like what winters were like years ago, but that didn’t change the fact that we’ve become weak and expect some amount of warmth to return in March. So last weekend was my first weekend out in the muck. The...Harvest Guilt
On my way home from work today I passed through the center of Northampton. For once I didn’t notice the reading on the Silverscape sign: -90. I’m not sure if it’s Fahrenheit or Celsius. I’m hoping Fahrenheit because that’s a lot warmer...Calvin cycle
My onions have completed the first arc of their migration. They begin, at least for me, as seeds that magically arrive in my mailbox. I plant them in soil blocks then put them under lights in the basement. Once the weather has warmed enough I carry them out to the...Poke things with sticks
Eons ago before I had even met the boss, before, in fact, I knew I needed a boss, a friend and I spent a week in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. We made all sorts of poor choices while there, I like to tell myself I am a better person for them. But one good choice was...Reproduction
I noticed them just a week and half ago: the brave garlic spears jutting up through the protective mulch. The mulch insulates the soil so that it remains a more constant temperature. In early spring that means colder. This prevents frost heaves, but it also slows...RateMyGarden.com
Everything gets reviewed these days, anonymously, and often none too kindly. Is it for the better? Most of my garden’s reviewers offer anodyne comments or just smile, but what if they used RateMyGardener.com? Mrs. Beanbeetle: under the leaves by the tree 8/15/14...Faith
I am not a person of faith. Though I participated in religious services as a child, I no longer do. I’m not sure if I had faith then, but I did believe what I was told. I didn’t question whether there was a God because the adults said there was one. High...E-Edition
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