Blogs
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 17, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Sleep is vexing in this household. For starters, the teen fell asleep at 6:30 and awoke at about 3:30. I’m pretty sure that model is unsustainable, but nine hours of sleep is nine hours of sleep and he might just make it to school on time. The three year-old...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 19, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
If misery loves company, we were a companionable crew yesterday. Take one papa with an ear infection, one mama with a sty that will not budge, and one just-turned teenager with an aversion to transitions (school year ending) then toss in a less-than-sleeping-easily...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 22, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
One of the reasons I so adore living here is seeing—again and again—how people find ways to band together. This week, I wrote my second Mash Note to Paradise for the Hilltown Families blog about the bike paths—and what I didn’t say in...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 25, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Three endings—two schools, one camp-at-school—plus one transition from the Younger Group to the Middle Group for a not-sure-she-wants-to-be-that-big three year-old for one parent (dear spouse, hanging with rare books’ librarians in Baton Rouge,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 23, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Not to be all Dear Diary or anything but Tuesday went better. Lucien started his day off where he left things on Monday night, shrill. A litany of my wrongs tumbled from his mouth, namely, “Why didn’t you wake me up at six?” Uh, for this, seriously,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 27, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
When my eldest two guys were small, like preschool and kindergarten small, they had a grand plan to marry each other and move to New York City where they’d live in the fire station near Broadway. The eldest was going to work on Broadway by night, and be a...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 24, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Early this week I wrote—I think too harshly—about struggles over a particular bedtime. In the piece, I wrote about how much I worry that what I have to offer my second guy—the one we like to call Bunbun the Middle One—is not, ever, never...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jun 30, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Last summer, inspired by Damaris, I copied her. She’d written a summer wish list. I wrote a summer wish list. Given that it was pretty fun to dream about things I hoped to do and that are fun to do, I decided to do it again. One nice thing about this year is...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 1, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Truthfully, reentry—the dear spouse returned from his week traveling for work—hasn’t been going terribly well. After putting the little gal to bed—she was excited to see him so it took him a while to get her settled—he did not leap up at...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 4, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Now that I’ve been making lists in blog posts this week, I have a few more lists swirling in my head. This is not surprising. I always have a few lists going: the to-do list, the what stories I might do next list, the who to hit up for money for __ organization...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 6, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Even if patriotism isn’t much on my mind these days (a day to celebrate world peace, yes) independence is, as in how to nurture and encourage and support independence, especially when living with two (insert gasp here, I sure am) teenagers. I really don’t...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 7, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Five zillion summers in—okay, not quite that, but plenty—I should know, at a cellular level, that summer equals loads of transitions. We are past the school-to-summer one and comfortably enough into the Younger-Group-to-Middle-Group one. Last week, Lucien...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 8, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Picture this scene: cloying summer evening, kids hanging, parents—two sets—chatting, and without exactly discussing it: impromptu two-families’ dinner. The small girls ate a first course of cucumbers and carrots and strawberries and almonds while the...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 10, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Remy tells me, “I don’t think Barack Obama has done as much as he should. I mean he hasn’t stopped the wars and he really should.” I say, “There are so many things we wish he’d do. Compared to many Presidents, he’s done so...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 12, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Four random observations from the weekend: Grumpy children (or teenagers) can fill up space like little else. Sleep is not overrated. Sleep is not so easy to get enough of. Family is rich, complicated and holds magnetic qualities. Getting around on a bicycle is fun....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 14, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
In parenting, as in much of my life, I’m pretty earnest and a hard worker. I try to do my best. There are personal limitations that are just… limiting. Brick wall thick, even. One of those for me is the whole pet issue. I just am not a...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 15, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
This afternoon I stole away (with a friend, lovely and talented Amy—read her blog, see her first-ever trailer for her forthcoming picture book) to see Midnight in Paris. In case you were keeping track of my summer wish list, this clocked in at number 18. You...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 17, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Remy took a day home from his very tiring (and-not-the-most-fun-he’s-ever-had) camp yesterday. He played with his pal, Max, for the morning. I worked. I did a little more work after I picked Saskia up from her preschool. But then, I stopped working. Remy and I...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 19, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
It’s hard for me to write the short version of things. Take yesterday. To find three good things is easy. There were plenty more than three yesterday. And with almost every good thing embedded is more to the story. Sometimes, that more to the story part adds to...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 21, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Here’s the shortest version of Saskia and my road trip to visit the new baby nephew: he is adorable. Of course he is. Here’s Caleb, seven weeks old. ** And his big brother, Ian, is still the prince. ** We brought the brothers a special gift: the rocking...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 23, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Although I’m not heading for some exciting vacation destination, the season keeps offering up change-of-pace delights just the same. Already this season, I’ve felt this in the strawberry field and the movie theater and this past week I’ve felt it...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 25, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
I am wrung out. There’s a massive heat wave and the result personally is that I feel like a balloon deflated with the rubber looking darker because I’m no longer buoyant. Being wrung out is making me feel darker. Odd thing is this: there are so many...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 27, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
In the day-in-the-life blogging mode, Saturday evening I chopped Lucien’s hair short so that he might feel summery cool for basketball camp this week. I didn’t bring a camera to the train, but he boarded one and rode to his grandparents’ station....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 29, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
We are tennis afternoons, talking to our brother on the phone in Philadelphia, choosing the four headbands we consider pink and purple, being bored, playing with Kate and Gabe, and hosting the soon-to-be fattest woodchuck in town in the backyard. That’s to say,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Jul 31, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Summer is a sea of transitions. Remy leaves for camp in a couple of days. He had a transcendent time last summer. For the past few days, he’s entirely forgotten that part. Waves of tears and worry are followed by glimmers of remembering what he loved about camp....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 2, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Over the years it’s become clear to me that I love weddings. This has become especially true since I started performing wedding ceremonies. When you are meeting couples for the express purpose of officiating their weddings, you are offered glimpses into love at...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 3, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Remy, dear Remy, had a hard time psyching himself up to go back to Journey’s End Farm Camp. Make no mistake: his first two-week stint there last summer was fantastic. I think I said till I was rather blue in the face that sometimes even a thing you love is hard...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 5, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Every once in a while this summer, my mind returns to my wish list and I wonder whether I’m checking anything new off of it. I’m in the middle of making jam with my friend, Marci. I am ridiculously excited by this whole learning to make jam event. Just...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 7, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
It’s Friday of what’s been a packed workweek. I have been pushing, pushing on some deadlines. Of course, the two most elusive stories aren’t nearly done. Yet, I’ve cleared through a bunch else and even those are starting to have handholds. Some...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 8, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Having Remy off at overnight camp has been easier this year, for me. I knew that for all his anxiety about leaving once he got there he would be enveloped in the fun of camp. And to an extent, that was that. This year I didn’t have a knot in my stomach once I...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 10, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Quoting my dear husband: “Given the fact that my wife loved Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books so much, her wanting to learn to make jam was practically inevitable.” There may be an iota of truth to this. To be perfectly clear I am not a sewer or knitter...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 12, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
I’m definitely having a wee bit of summer melancholy. It’s the August-is-here-summer-is-fleeting variety. I don’t feel recharged yet. I thought of summer as recharge time. It’s more like four-kids-many-transitions-bunches-of-work busyness this...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 14, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
The swirl the world made this week, from riots to Wall Street’s mood swings, almost has me wanting to resign from civic engagement. At the very same time, I was reminded that the best thing to do when the overall mania of the world, capital W, feels overwhelming...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 16, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Few hugs are as fantastic as the one you get from your beaming, tired, sunned, extremely filthy camper when you arrive at camp. How fitting that his camp is called Journey’s End Farm Camp. As he introduced us to the animals, it was clear that what happens at...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 18, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
I have a mother-in-law whose abilities to make PIE are pretty much, legendary. She made a birthday pie for a friend the other evening. Quoting Rachel: “Lisa, can you alert me the next time you make pie and then include me in eating it?” My friend Gina...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 20, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
The little girl and me, we’re hanging. Sunnyside is on vacation. The papa and the boys are on vacation. I really dislike the word staycation. Besides, I defy you to tell me a long chunk of every bedtime and every wakeup and most meltdowns in between is exactly...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 23, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
On the fourth day, good things abounded: Not one but two yoga classes Holding the sweetest five-month-old for a good chunk of time (nice mama let me) Zestar apple Chats with friends Selling some books and pouring that money into cleaning the house more so the dust...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 26, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Last night, I was trying to think about what to write on my blog beyond the very nothing-ness that seems to be our quiet little mama plus three-and-a-half year-old gal time. It’s really been stuff like a swim club trip with friends, a morning hanging with an...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 28, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Beyond the cutest of walks between home and town—okay, you could insert Herrell’s for town on more than one occasion—and this week’s trip to a truly empty Holyoke Canoe Club, where we did not share the pool with anyone else for an hour, I guess...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Aug 30, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Sunday morning and it’s… raining and pouring. The air holds the tropical well, so everything feels soft and damp and oddly tender. Saskia wonders at eight in the morning when the rain will stop. I think the air calls for palm trees, maybe some sand...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 1, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
There’s this line in Maurice Sendak and Arthur Yorinks’ The Miami Giant about a boat landing in Miami that goes, “So I swerved a bit.” That line of that very odd book, which manages to be funny and just a smidge unsettling at once, came to me...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 4, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
When confronted with this image, what do you say? No comment. ** I think the JC Penney shirt is such an extreme example it went viral. The uproar was so great they pulled the shirt and apologized. Okay, but do I offer my three year-old-daughter a choice about what to...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 6, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Turns and bedtime do not go hand-in-hand. Both Saskia and Arella wanted to be first going up the stairs to hear Saskia’s bedtime stories. They sat miserably just below the landing. I tried turns. No dice. “Would you each like a cookie?” I asked....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 8, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
I stayed up way too late last night reading two articles, one about the debate over whether reducing multiple pregnancies (twins or above) down to singleton pregnancies, the other about a sperm donor with 150 children. The shared theme between these articles seems to...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 11, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
A couple of reasons I know that my jamming has overtaken some prime emotional real estate: 1) I was ready to try a new method—with pectin, well Pomona, the local pectin—of jam making, 2) on someone’s status update about jamming, I commented...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 13, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
How could a day with such blue skies be so horrifying? Ten years, two wars, and here two more children later, I still believe in peace and I still believe peace is not the opposite of war; peace is about learning to nurture compassion. It’s about helping one...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 14, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Yet another degrading to women shirt has appeared on the market. This one is about how girls can’t do math. I struggled with math my entire schooling life. In fact, the recurring dream I had before finishing my B.A. and my MFA was that I had to return to my high...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 17, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
After a couple of days when the rollercoaster aspect of parenting—think stomach-turning freefall sensation and loads of screaming in a loop—was seemingly more prevalent than anything else, we were oddly lulled by an afternoon of people and pie. Or maybe,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 19, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
As the week wended its way to a close, I started to think about bumps on the road. Maybe having a few deadlines piled up got me thinking about this. The freelance writer gig has so many ups and downs and general insecurity. Meaning, deadlines are good. And meaning,...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 21, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
The eldest boy turns 16 today. Just, wow. This morning I drove him to school because he had a calculus test first thing. First thing at our school is 7:30 in the morning, which is like a lot of hours too early for calculus—or school. But there you have it....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 24, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Briefly, between some struggles in teen-dom and a three-year-old unable to fall asleep or tolerate staying in her room alone there’s a wee bit of overload going on around here. Add to that work, allergies and the September adjustment factor and yeah, overload....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 25, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Here’s a moment in time: I’m listening to the rain; that’s because it’s so loud I cannot not listen. I know that sentence is grammatically incorrect. I have the overhead light on because it’s so dark outside and somehow this is making the...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 27, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
This week my eldest turned 16. How did that happen? How did that little babe with the giant eyes and owlish eyebrows from birth become tall and loud and crazy smart and funny and insecure and self-confident and more all at once? How did I go from being in my early...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Sep 29, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
It seems every person has a few rules to live by, not of the golden rule variety but of the this-works-for-me ilk. Over the years, I’ve become a devotee to the three good things school of thought; that is, not so much about the number three than the belief that...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 2, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
I’m totally teen years—the biggest boy turned 16 this month—into parenting. The third guy just turned nine (!). Raising a family and being married is, on the one hand, everything I hoped it would be and completely different from what I imagined....
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 4, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
When I think back on this morning eighteen years ago, it really does seem a lifetime ago. Just a couple of weeks shy of three years in (relationship, love, living together—all more or less an instant deal) we were not strangers or anything. Still, our sense of...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 6, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Last weekend, I whacked my tailbone. It was one of those annoying maternal injuries. I reached for a squirming three-year-old across the table—at Herrell’s of course—and the force knocked me back harder than expected against the banquette. I did not...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 8, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
Last month, I was catching up with my cousin. She called on a morning when the aspiring chef teen woke at five in order to assemble and bake an apple pie for a pie contest. In my slumber, I said to him sure, bake the younger guy’s peach pie as well. That’s...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 10, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
In the land of the blogosphere where you can pretty much convince yourself that every other mother is sewing her house’s curtains, cooking straight from the bountiful, beautiful garden and managing to do BIG IMPORTANT THINGS away from home, all whilst rocking a...
by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser | Oct 12, 2011 | Standing In The Shadows
No question that living in New England, the timing of the New Year works: all that sweet harvest energy, the juicy apples, the mysterious grape scent wafting, even the crunch of the leaves that make your footsteps talk back. The light, the foliage and the endings of...