Bizarro Briefs
Bizarro briefs: Today’s forecast — droplets of iron
Today’s forecast: Droplets of iron Swiss and other European astronomers examining a hot, Jupiter-like planet 390 light-years away have discovered that rain falls there in an unusual form: iron droplets. The mega planet, called Wasp-76b, is so hot on its sunny side —...
Bizarro Briefs: More Than Just Birdcage Liner
More Than Just Birdcage Liner At the Advocate, we’ve had our fair share of readers disagreeing with our coverage claim the only thing this paper is good for is lining their birdcages. Well, an Australian newspaper took things a step further, and printed extra blank...
Bizarro Briefs: Gecko CPR
Gecko CPR A man from Australia might have saved a tiny gecko’s life after he fished the lizard out of his beer at a pub and then performed CPR on the animal when it seemingly stopped breathing. The man thought staff at the Amble Inn in Corindi Beach, New South Wales...
Bizarro Briefs: The Bite of a Yogi
The Bite of a Yogi A 46-year-old Maryland woman is charged in court with second-degree assault after she allegedly bit a man’s neck for peeing on her yoga mat in late January. The story appeared in the Baltimore Sun last week. Although there are still details to come...
Bizarro Briefs: You’ve Got (lots of) Mail
You’ve Got (lots of) Mail In what we can only imagine was a scene reminiscent of Harry Potter’s acceptance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a couple from Ohio received 55,000 identical letters. But the contents of those letters — and the reason there...
Bizarro Briefs: A Drug Lord’s Zoo
A Drug Lord’s Zoo There likely wouldn’t be hippopotamuses living in Columbia if it weren’t for Pablo Escobar. After his death in 1993, the drug lord’s abandoned zoo was dismantled, and while African animals such as rhinos and giraffes were given new homes, there...
Bizarro Briefs: Lost your thumb? Use your big toe
Lost your thumb? Use your big toe A British cobbler was distraught after a freak accident last year — his thumb was caught in some machinery and severed completely. The man thought his work as a cobbler, which he is passionate about, was over. Instead, he agreed to an...
Bizarro Briefs: Robber in the Dark
Robber in the dark A man attempted to rob the Bank of Scotland last September armed with a meat cleaver and disguised by a pillowcase over his head — but he forgot to cut eye holes. The 47-year-old stormed into the bank and wielded the meat cleaver while wearing the...
Bizarro Briefs: Immigration Policies Make Vultures Puke
Immigration policies make vultures puke It’s not clear if they’re making a statement about the Trump administration’s immigration policies. But whatever the reason, a large group of vultures has been getting the drop, so to speak, on a U.S. Customs and Border...
Bizarro Briefs: Man bites dog … while naked and high on meth
Man bites dog … while naked and high on meth A man in Florida is facing several charges after he allegedly punched a deputy and then bit the ear of a K-9. He did it while he was buck naked, too, and apparently high on meth. According to police in Columbia County,...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Be your own farm
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about being your own farm in a dystopian future, generous burglars, and the danger of...
Bizarro Briefs: Become your own chia pet … TO SURVIVE
Become your own chia pet … TO SURVIVE Climate change is a scary concept and is driving people to extreme lifestyles, but it was left to a Californian landscape architect to offer us the self-sustaining vest — essentially a wearable farm that can be watered using...
Bizarro Briefs: In the Socks of Fox
In the Socks of Fox If you ever watch the Fox network and think — are these guys on something? — turns out some of them likely are. A reporter for Fox Business was busted last week at a Manhattan courthouse with a crack pipe in his sock. The man was ticketed and...
Bizarro Briefs: Someone on the Naughty List
Someone on the Naughty List It’s unfortunately a scene that is not completely uncommon. On a train heading from Manhattan to Long Island this past Saturday, two men began arguing until it culminated into a physical altercation. One man, allegedly drunk, shouted...
Bizarro Briefs: Eating a $120,000 Banana
A man walked into the Art Basel gallery in Miami Beach, Florida, and ate a work of art that had recently sold to an art collector for $120,000. The piece of art consisted of a banana duct-taped to a wall and was created by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan and titled...
Bizarro Briefs: Cows hooked into the Matrix
Next stop, The Matrix Farmers in Moscow are now experimenting with virtual reality headsets to help improve milk production among cows. The thought is by rigging a VR headset on cows that simulate tranquil experiences, it will create a calmer atmosphere for the cattle...
Bizarro Briefs: Would-be burglar beaten up by 82-year-old woman
Housebroken A would-be burglar encountered something he didn’t expect when he broke down the door of a Rochester, New York, home — the brute strength of the 82-year-old woman who lived there. The woman, who told a local television station she works out almost every...
Bizarro Briefs: Crappy Booze
In Mossel Bay, South Africa, a gin maker is infusing their alcoholic drinks with something that’s pretty crappy — elephant dung. The creators of Indlovu Gin thought of the idea after learning that elephants eat a well balanced meal of fruits and flowers, of which they...
Bizarro Briefs: Thanksgiving revolt
Thanksgiving revolt Just as Americans get ready to tuck into their annual Thanksgiving meal, wild turkeys in a New Jersey town are counterattacking. Residents in the aptly named Toms River (a male turkey is called a tom) are reportedly being terrorized by the large...
Bizarro Briefs: Fake Cop of the Week
Fake Cop of the Week An eager North Carolina man was arrested for impersonating a cop during a police chase. In October, police pulled over a car in Wilson, N.C., searching for a possible murder suspect, but as police approached the vehicle it took off. A chase ensued...
Bizarro Briefs: So You Want to be Scared?
So You Want to be Scared? Visiting so-called “haunted houses” for Halloween is very popular, but if you want to get chills in two of them in particular, you’ll need to be medically cleared by a doctor and sign a 40-page waiver before you can go in. The McKamey Manor...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: A really scary house, a cautionary tale for hit men, Elf on a Shelf cereal
The Halloween edition of weird news with Dave and Trumpy. Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about a scary house you don’t...
Bizarro Briefs: A joke from beyond the grave … or in it
A joke from beyond the grave … or in it An Irish man raised the spirits of those attending his funeral by requesting a recording be played of him pretending to be alive in his coffin as it was lowered into the ground. “Hello? Hello. Hello? Let me out!” the recording...
Bizarro Briefs: A Fish Out of Water
A fish out of water The United States is being invaded by a creepy invasive species of fish that can breathe on land. The state of Georgia is taking no chances, and its Department of Natural Resources’ Wildlife Resources Division announced last week that the public...
Bizarro Briefs: Um, there’s some toilet paper on your … nevermind
Um, there’s some toilet paper on your … nevermind The long-awaited results are in: Mimoza Haska from Surfside Beach, S.C., is the winner of this year’s Toilet Paper Wedding Dress competition. In this annual contest, competitors design and build elaborate wedding...
Bizarro Briefs: Frostbitten toe used as ice in drink
Here’s to your health A former British Marine became the first person to drink a cocktail using his own mummified toe, after he had lost it to frostbite during a long-distance race in Yukon. Bolton, U.K., resident Nick Griffiths had lost three toes during a 300-mile...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Disappointing attendance at Area 51 raid, a nonexistent flatulence competition, and biting a camel in self defense
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Learn this week about disappointing attendance at Area 51 raid, a nonexistent flatulence...
Bizarro Briefs: Bread-throwing girl costs robber his dough
Bread-throwing girl costs robber his dough A would-be robber armed with a knife in a supermarket in the UK met an adversary he hadn’t counted on — an 11-year-old girl wielding a loaf of bread. As seen on security footage at an Express Supermarket in the city of...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Explosive bull semen, beating an elevator up a building, stuffed Cheez-It pizza
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Learn this week about explosive bull semen, beating an elevator up a building, and stuffed...
Bizarro Briefs: A Race to the Top
A Race to the Top The 2016 world champion of sport climbing took on an unexpected challenger earlier this month: an elevator. The 26-year-old Polish man, Marcin Dzienski, raced a neon-lit elevator on the side of a Warsaw hotel and reached the top of a 75-foot...
Bizarro Briefs: Praying with Robot Priests
Praying with Robot Priests Religion, that opiate of the masses, has found a new way to spread dystopia — robot priests. A robot named Mindar is operating at a 400-year-old Buddhist temple in Kyoto, Japan, and is programmed to give sermons. Right now it only knows one...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Awful gun testing, robot priests, and a poop knife
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about awful gun testing, robot priests, and a poop knife. Listen here: You can hear more of...
Bizarro Briefs: Naked lunch … er … dinner
Naked lunch … er … dinner A family from Fortuna, California, came home to unexpected — and unwanted — visitors. After returning from dinner last week, the family found two naked strangers that had broken into the household and made themselves a little too comfortable....
Bizarro Briefs: Swedish seagull swipes stash
Swedish seagull swipes stash Sweden has among the toughest marijuana laws in the world, with no allowance for recreational or medical use, and a punishment of a large fine and up to six months in prison. That would have been bad news for a Gothenburg man, who had a...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Peed on peas, moose meat solicitation, and a dirty diaper assault
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about peed on peas, moose meat solicitation, and a dirty diaper assault. Listen here: You can...
Bizarro Briefs: The wedding crasher
The wedding crasher Police in Texas are asking the public for help in finding a thief they are calling “The Wedding Crasher.” The Comal County Sheriff’s Office has described the suspect as arriving uninvited to weddings, posing as a guest and then stealing gifts,...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Falling bears, dumb beverages, and a septic tank lightning strike
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about falling bears, dumb beverages, and a septic tank lightning strike. You can hear more of...
Bizarro Briefs: Ketchup Karma
Ketchup Karma Someone stole a bottle of ketchup from a New Jersey restaurant, and claims to have been immediately wracked by guilt — and bad karma. A few hours after the condiment thief purloined the tomato-y diner staple, someone crashed into their car. In the weeks...
Bizarro Briefs: If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Eat ‘Em
If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Eat ‘Em Recently, swarms of grasshoppers have invaded Las Vegas, and videos have been posted of the winged creatures flocking around neon lights. One Las Vegas pizzeria is unfazed by the biblical-level calamity, and is serving the little...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Loose yaks, stolen dentures, and hair farms for rich people
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about loose yaks, stolen dentures and hair farms for rich people. You can hear more of the...
Bizarro Briefs: Hair farms for the super rich
Hair farms for the super rich Furthering the fight against baldness, scientists have determined that a combination of stem cell growth and 3-D printing may hold the solution to a problem that has long vexed companies trying to make money off of people going bald – how...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: Seagull steals dog, asking someone out with a bomb threat, and a port-a-potty disaster
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 host Trumpy talk about the week’s weird news in a podcast version of the Valley Advocate’s Bizarro Briefs section. Hear about five guys getting arrested at a Five Guys, why you shouldn’t cut on...
Bizarro Briefs: Come Back With My Dog!
Come back with my dog! Many of us have had the experience of getting a slice of pizza or food item snatched from us by a greedy seagull while minding our own business near the beach. Few, however, can say that their pet dog was snatched by the grabby birds. But that’s...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: How many people are actually going to show up to this Area 51 raid?
Editor Dave Eisenstadter and Trumpy of Hits 94.3 talk about the weird news of the week, including a proposed raid on Area 51 (are there really aliens there?), a mall sword fight using tiki torches, and a loud fart that reveals the location of someone hiding from...
Bizarro Briefs: Let’s All Go to Area 51
Let’s All Go to Area 51 At least a million people have pledged over Facebook to raid the United State Air Force’s Area 51, a highly classified Nevada military base that conspiracy theorists and UFO-ologists claim houses or once housed remains of alien spaceships and...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast: A popular Japanese poop museum, a late-night pizza walker, and waking up at your own funeral (July 9)
Valley Advocate editor Dave Eisenstadter and Hits 94.3 DJ Trumpy talk about the weird news of the week. Bizarro Briefs this week can be read at https://valleyadvocate.com/2019/07/10/bizarro-briefs-do-starfish-have-butts/. Listen here: You can hear more of the Valley...
Bizarro Briefs: Do Starfish have Butts?
Do starfish have butts? A sea star at an aquarium in California has gone viral after a photo of the starfish was shared showing it as seeming to have large assets on its lower half. Although it looks like the starfish has a butt, marine wildlife experts at the...
Bizarro Briefs: UFO abduction memorialized
UFO abduction memorialized There’s now a historical landmark in Pascagoula, Mississippi, where two men claimed to be abducted by aliens near a river in southern Mississippi in 1973. The two men were said to have been on the shores of the Pascagoula River when aliens...
Bizarro Briefs: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Seal
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Seal Researchers in Scotland have taught three gray seals to sing songs like “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” and the theme to “Star Wars.” Scientists at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland raised the trio of seals from birth in order to...
Bizarro Briefs Podcast 6/26/19: Weird news from the week
Dave and Trumpy talk about this week’s weird news — stories about disembodied toes, Bill Cosby’s prison lecture series, bringing your daughter to a crime spree, and multiple stories about poop. Listen here: You can hear previous episodes of the...
Bizarro Briefs: Definitely not “Saved by the Bell”
Definitely not “Saved by the Bell” A man from Vermont learned that looking up clips from 1990s sitcom “Saved by the Bell” and driving on the open road don’t exactly mix. The man sideswiped a police car while trying to find an episode of the TV show on the internet....
Introducing: The Bizarro Briefs Podcast
Since the retirement of longtime “News of the Weird” columnist Chuck Shepherd, the Advocate has done “Bizarro Briefs,” our own collection of weekly weird news we find. Thanks to a partnership with Trumpy from Hits 94.3, with a similar...
Bizarro Briefs: A Cervine Intruder
A cervine intruder It was a tense moment for an eastern Texas woman. She realized that her Lufkin home had been illegally entered when she heard glass breaking, so she went to hide in a closet and called police. Police decided to surround the house after learning the...
Bizarro Briefs: Swooping to the Rescue
Swooping to the rescue The robot-controlled cameras that film us at all times waiting for us to mess up so we can be fined or arrested have spawned a new genre of Bizarro Brief: the bird photobomb as savior. One such 1984-like surveillance device in western Germany...
Bizarro Briefs: Woody, is That You?
Woody, is That You? The New York City Police Department recently used a photo of actor Woody Harrelson (Zombieland, HBO’s first season of True Detectives, Natural Born Killers) to catch a beer thief who happened to look a lot like the well-known actor. The police...
Bizarro Briefs: RIP Grumpy Cat
RIP Grumpy Cat A generational meme icon is no more. At the age of seven, the beloved feline known to the internet as “Grumpy Cat” has been taken from us, but left us with her always grumpy face, which will surely delight generations of internet browsers in the years...
Bizarro Briefs: A daring escape (with cat)
A daring escape In what could easily be a scene from an action movie (starring an elderly woman and her cat), a Massachusetts woman managed to save herself and her feline companion from drowning when the car they were driving crashed into a river and sank. The woman,...
Bizarro Briefs: The ‘Pooperintendent’ Returns
The ‘Pooperintendent’ Returns Previously on Bizarro Briefs: a mysterious serial track field defecator was revealed to be a rival school’s superintendent. He was fired. But wait folks, that’s not all! Now, the former New Jersey ‘pooperintendent’ has sued a police...
Bizarro Briefs: A Dream Fake-cation To Nebraska
A Dream Fake-cation To Nebraska You’re down on your luck and feeling the blues. It happens to everyone. Maybe you need a trip to Disneyland to lift your spirits … or Nebraska? You don’t have to actually go to Nebraska to go on vacation because a Nebraska-based...E-Edition
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