Columns
Nightcrawler: Can't Find a Better Band
The name of the new disc and tour—Lightning Bolt—may suggest a quick, intense burst of energy. But as Pearl Jam pushed its way past the 30-song, three-hour mark at Harford’s XL Center on Friday, Oct. 25, it was evident to all in the sold-out audience...
Nightcrawler: They Built This City
Forgive Group Deville's Rick Murnane if he's not quite as bubbly as you'd expect him to be when he performs this Saturday, June 30 at Bishop's Lounge in Noho. Sure, that's the night he and his Group troupe will be celebrating their first release in...
Nightcrawler: Building (City) Block
When the need arises, the folks at the Springfield Business Improvement District (SBID) can break out market projections, Powerpoint presentations and trend analyses with the best of them. In addressing the desires of Springfield restaurateurs and club owners to...
Nightcrawler: Fireworks, Music, Melons
It started as an opportunity for locals to sample savories from various area eateries and soak in the sounds of a few of the region's bigger bands. Since that summer of 1985, however, Committee President Scott Crosson says that his Enfield, Connecticut Fourth of...Ahoy, Matey!: A Captain's Guide to his Semen
Having accomplished the majority of my boy-on-girl action in my teens and set up shop in lesbianland soon after that, I haven’t needed to put much serious thought into semen besides “Spit or swallow?” and “Please don’t fertilize...Eating Out
On the way to famous sex columnist, I’ve been taking a (long) detour in “slashie” land as a waitress-slash-sex writer (thanks, liberal arts degree!). Lately, between bringing customers bread and interviewing my co-workers about their favorite...Easy A
In the shadow of the spotlight-hogging G-spot, deep in the invisible caverns of the vaginal interior, there lies a hidden gem: the A-spot. The new vaginal black, as it were, the A-spot (or “the cul-de-sac” as it’s sometimes called) is the new coital...Top of the Moaning To Ya!
Yesterday I watched porn for breakfast. I’m not usually an a.m. porn-watcher. But when Tristan Taormino (well, her assistant) sends me a porno in the mail, I feel special, and therefore inclined to add some extra “oh’s to my morning Cheerios. Tristan...Cheap Thrills: Sexcessories Under $20
Twenty dollars doesn’t go far these days (good thing orgasms are still free), but it’ll go farther in a sex toy store than you think. Just stay away from the cash-wasting penis tiaras and edible undies. Here’s to more banging for your twenty bucks....Fist Fright: A reader's question answered
Dear V-Spot,I am willing to bet I have a question that probably doesn’t come up very often, if ever. My boyfriend and I recently starting experimenting with “fisting.” It is such a turn-on to me that I have some of the most powerful orgasms ever...Love at First Fist
After a Westfield reader’s fisting question was answered last week, I’m sure some of you have caught the highly contagious fisting fever. I mean, it’s fascinating, really—how do you get such a big, powerful symbol of strength into such a small...Spring Flings
Today I went to the Bulb Show at Smith College’s greenhouse. Maybe it was the sticky humidity, the intoxicating floral scent, or the suggestive cacti towering next to the quivering folds of pink orchids, but it was the first time in quite a while that I’ve...Dildo Takes a Vacation
When my partner and I decided to travel around South America, we couldn’t imagine four months without a strap-on harness and dildo. Nor, upon finding out that good lube was hard to come by abroad, could we possibly live without Sliquid Sassy Booty Formula....Hippity, Humpity, Hop!
No one made putting a cute little bunny on your clitoris look better than my favorite promiscuous cougar Samantha from HBO’s series Sex and The City. This fictional femme fatale and her overacted orgasms made the original Rabbit Pearl and Rabbit Habit vibrators...Feminist Porn
Feminist porn. To many, this sounds really oxymoronic. Yet I, a modern feminist, am constantly watching, getting off to and recommending you get off to porn. Allow me to explain. Porn can be violent, anti-feminist, degrading and exploitive. But it isn’t...I Bet Lance Armstrong Makes a Great Cocktail
For the past column, “Ahoy, Mateys! A Captain’s Guide to His Semen,” I was looking for an answer to a reader’s question about how to increase the volume of his ejaculate. While bulking him up with quite a load… of information, I stumbled...Hanky Panky
Pride season is here! A bi-coastal girl, I’m most familiar with the GLBTQ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer) Pride festivals in San Francisco and in our quaint little town of Northampton. San Francisco Pride is a massive affair of rainbows, ass-less chaps...Non-Missionary Accomplished
Missionary can be cozy, comfortable and just the uncomplicated, satisfying position you need after a long workday. Even if you are feeling the universal sexual urge to “mix it up,” it can seem like Mission Impossible to get out of Missionary. Well, you...Perfect Form
I wouldn’t dare call JimmyJane’s Form Series “toys.” Sure, technically they’re sex toys. But when JimmyJane’s (jimmyjane.com) founder Ethan Imboden and designer Yves B?har knocked the mental boots, an entirely different sexcessory...The V-Spot: SASSY SEX WRITER SEEKS EAGER READERS
I love getting people off. There’s something about the moment you glimpse that final spark in their eye before everything clicks and ah-hah! insecurities and hesitations melt away and it suddenly all makes sense. I’ve witnessed these climaxes in people 18...Life Beyond KY: The Wide, Wet World of Lube
Sure, KY lube is enticing with those commercials where a shy couple simply touches the bottle and, pow! A suggestive hurricane hits, resulting in a pair of dazed looks and rumpled hair. Good thing they came up with that “Yours + Mine” formula, because what...First Trip to a Sex Store?
You’ve never been to a sex toy store. Or, maybe you went into one when you turned 18, just because you could. You laughed at the toys, flipped through some dirty books and left. Or you went to one a while ago (just to see what it was like), but didn’t like...The V-Spot: Prostate Power, Part I: The Not-So-Dirty Truth
Everyone’s always looking for the G-spot. With its reputation, who wouldn’t? So boys, how would you feel if I told you that you had a G-spot equivalent—the P-spot, which can lead to longer, stronger and multiple male orgasms? Now what if I told you...The P-Spot (Part II): Exploring the great back door
If you read last week’s column (and did your homework) you’re probably at least intrigued about the male G-spot (the prostate, or P-spot), and, hopefully, those pesky myths about taking it up the you-know-what (it’s “gay”,...Love Your Latex
Excuses: unfortunately, that’s what many hear when it’s time to put on that condom. Who knew a little latex could be responsible for sensation loss, erectile dysfunction or inability to “really connect,” or that it could even make sex...Naughty Films for the Nice Couple
Usually when one hears the word “porn,” intimate kissing scenes between real couples or romantic dramas aren’t what come to mind. Though the readily available “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” adult flicks can be hot, they aren’t for...
PC Pilates
Whew! Dr. Arnold Kegel sure knows how to work out a girl’s vagina! Now, get your minds out of the gutter, dear readers, (this isn’t a porn script)—I’m talking about Kegel exercises. As they caused quite a stir a while back, you may have heard...A Quick Guide to Your First Vibe
When people find out that I write about sex toys, they lean in to whisper the inevitable question: “So what’s the best?” Especially when it comes to vibrators, they’re always looking for The One, the guaranteed insta-orgasm. Though I hate to...Potty Talk
Like many queer Northamptonites, I regularly pay my dues to the dance floors at Diva’s. When it’s time to do my private business, it warms my heart to see signs informing the club’s multi-gendered clientele that both bathrooms are open to everyone...The Sweet Couple's Guide to Getting Spicy
So you want to get spanked. Maybe called some dirty words. You want to get tied up, see her in a cheerleader’s uniform or bark like a dog for him. The easy answer is “Just do it,” but this isn’t a Nike ad, this is your sex life. And the fear...The Ties That Bind
After last week’s column, you and your partner are ready to get spicy. As one of the most common and multifaceted fetishes, you may be considering BDSM (bondage and discipline/domination and submission/sadism and masochism). Despite what many believe, BDSM is...Men-Oh-Oh-Oh-Pause
Thanks to a little annoyance called biology, menopause changes female terrain pretty drastically. It’s understandable that post-menopausal dryness, soreness and tightening and deterioration of the inner vaginal walls may make sex more mentally and physically...'Roid Rage
Hi ,Yana. First I want to say I think your column rocks. Initially I was like, “Gasp! Where is Ask Isadora?” Then I read what you had to say, and I was like, “Hey, that was actually pretty good and informative.” I read this week’s P-Spot...Tri-Curiosity Killed the Couple…
…but it doesn’t have to. Sure, for some, three’s a crowd. But for others, three’s a party. And a party’s always better with a little planning. Though there are all kinds of threesomes, I’m focusing on the couple/third-wheel variety,...Getting Better
It’s no longer breaking news—in just the last few months, seven young gay/queer men have taken their own lives after being homophobically bullied. And though I’d love to write the usual column about cockrings or strap-ons, it can’t go...Feeling Cocky
Though I don’t get these myself, from what I understand, erections are all about blood flow. Blood flows in, penis becomes erect, blood flows out, things get a little droopy. Unfortunately, tides change frequently and are hard to control. However, cockrings are...Dirty Little Secrets
Though I am a let-it-all-hang-out, sex-revolution-encouraging sex columnist, I do understand that not everyone has the privilege of leaving their dildos in the dishwasher, their restraints attached to their bedposts and their favorite vibe in their purse “just...The Notorious G
I once made the mistake of telling a guy that not everyone likes having their G-spot touched. He stared at me with what could only be hatred for dispelling the myth that the G-spot is the be-all-end-all of female orgasms, the turbo switch, the one thing between him...The Best Things in Life Give You Orgasms
The giving season is upon us. And we generous sex partners love to give. The thrifty side of me thinks the best sex-related gifts are porns or books about something you want to try with your sweetie (think Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes or The...Bon(e) Appetit!
Ah, the blow job. Somewhere on the road to sex-god(ess), between reading the Kama Sutra and installing the sex swing, the once terrifying adolescent sexual initiation rite sadly becomes a mere pit stop between a faltering erection and penetrative sex. Big mistake. You...What to Sexpect When You're Expecting
Babies seem determined to destroy the very thing that created them: your sex life. Yes, they’re awfully adorable. But don’t let the googoos and gagas fool you—even the baby talk itself can and will be used against you. Luckily, with a...Va-Va-Vanilla
I used to be one of those serial friend-fuckers. I was that girl—the universal sexual link who didn’t seem to know the meaning of “platonic.” Whether the people in my close circle of friends turned into long-term partners, one-night stands or...Cunnilinguistics 101
After the column covering blow-job basics (“Bon(e) Appetit,” December 30, 2010), readers have been chomping at the cunnilingus bit. This makes me both smile and cringe. Smile because nothing’s better than an eager muff-diver and cringe because...Strap-Happy
The perfect harness to your favorite dildo is like sunshine to your picnic, chocolate chips to your cookie, gel-based lube to your… you get the idea. Time to learn the ropes (well, straps) of harness buying. Do you only knock the vegan boots or would you rather...Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Vibrator?
Once upon a time, in a big bed far away, there was a princess who wanted to use a sex toy with her partner. But when she broached the subject, all her partners feared that they would be replaced by a sex toy! The first little partner said, “If you want me to...Open for Business
With my sketchy “open relationship” track record, you’d be foolish to take non-monogamous advice from me. In theory, I get it. But in practice… So instead of my advice, I’ll give you a bit of an open relationship book report on Tristan...Climb Your Way to the Top
“Drop those pants.” “Roll over.” “Bottoms up!” You Tops think you’re soooo special with your cocky attitudes, sexual demands and complicated rope knots. Well, let me tell you, dears, Topping is about more than just getting...Hey!
For those sneaking peeks at the Advocate’s back section who maybe shouldn’t be: It may be hard to believe but I, too was born a virgin. Though it’s an amusing thought, I didn’t waddle around as a toddler handcuffing my stuffed animals and...Sex and the Springtime Star-Gazer
Many of you Valley Advocate readers turn to this back section under the pretense that you’re brushing up on your weekly horoscope. Though I enjoy reading Rob Brezsny as much as the next wandering soul, you have to admit, it’s also a good excuse to peek at...Need a Hand?
The hand job is like blow job’s annoying cousin you have to hang out with sometimes. It doesn’t have any real fans. You won’t see many HJs in pornos whispering the phrase, “Hey, baby—how about a nice hand job for your birthday?” Why...Strapping Young Lads!
At the sex toy store I worked at, it wasn’t uncommon for men to walk in, look around at the vibrators, harnesses and dildos and ask, “What’s in this for me and my penis? How do we get off around here?” The obvious answers are masturbation...Straight to Lesbianland
You’re feeling a little curious. You’ve been casually asking questions, maybe doing a little Internet research. You’ve probably come across answers like “Only when I’m drunk” and “Only around my boyfriend” and a little...Distance Makes The Hot Grow Fonder
Three short months after meeting my wife-to-be in San Francisco, I was forced, kicking and screaming, back to the East Coast where I had started, and needed to finish, my undergrad degree. Four months and 3,000 miles apart on a college student’s budget is a...Summer Sextrology
Let’s state the obvious first. Yes, Cancer’s (June 22nd — July 22nd) astrological symbol looks a lot like a popular little sexualized numeral called 69. Though this does make for an unfortunate tattoo, it doesn’t say much about Cancer’s...SWF Feminist Seeks Same
Hi, Yana! Thank you so much for writing this wonderful article (V-Spot, “Feminist Porn,” May 5, 2011). I am an educated heterosexual feminist woman in my mid-20s and am so sick of subjecting myself to the porn I find on the Internet, which constantly...Dildo Does Not Take a Vacation
The many fans of past column “Dildo Takes a Vacation,” April 21, 2011 (which chronicled my short-lived quest to bring my dildo to South America), know that I’m no stranger to packing it in abroad. Earlier this summer, embarking on a shorter quest to...Riding the Crimson Wave
Great sex is peppered with a lot of punctuation—slow, seductive “dot, dot, dots,” hyphens for sexual meldings like “girl-on-girl” or “penis-to-booty” and, hopefully, lots of exclamation points!!! But the punctuation mark many...The Breakup Break Down
I’m the breakupper who likes to disguise the demise of my relationships as something else. I like to call my breakups “breaks” or an “attempted open relationship,” or blame them on an early “mid-mid-life crisis” and then feign...The Lies Porn Tells Us
Nobody likes a liar. This is probably why many people hate porn—though rare, truthful porn does exist. As I’ve said before in a past column (“Feminist Porn,” May 5, 2011), there is good, positive porn to be had. You just have to know how to...E-Edition
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