The V-Spot
The V-Spot: How To – The Sex Talk
My dad gave me The Sex Talk one night during my freshman year in high school. We were driving home in his car. As he did his best to stammer through the basics of STD transmission and cautionary tales of unwanted pregnancies, I kept one hand on the truck’s...
The V-Spot: My Boyfriend Won’t Lick My Sundae
Hi Yana! I’ve been seeing a wonderful man for about a year and a half and I feel like I’ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with. Here’s the problem: He isn’t a very sexual person and won’t perform oral sex on me. He says he never has on any of...
The V-Spot: Am I a Creepy OKCupid Troll?
Hi Yana, It’s been a few years since I last got laid. Lately I’ve been trying to use OKCupid to look for a hookup. I also tried using Craigslist personals, but that didn’t go anywhere. While on OKCupid I email women asking if they want to chat, but I don’t get a reply...
The V-Spot: My 12-year-old is watching porn. Now what?
Hi Yana, I’ve enjoyed hearing you speak on the sexpert panels at the Platinum Pony. Your name popped into my head today after learning my 12-year-old son has begun to dip his toes into the world of online porn. I knew it was going to happen. I just hoped it wouldn’t...
The V-Spot: Masturbation, how much is too much?
Dear Yana, Is it normal for my husband to jerk off four times in a day? And then not want me? — XO Dear XO, Maintaining a certain amount of individualism while you’re in a relationship with someone is a completely healthy — and, in fact, recommended — thing to do,...
The V-Spot: Dating clichés that need to go
So many sex and dating clichés, so many hot-tub induced yeast-infections, accidental sex farts, and awkward threesomes. Here’s to half-a-dozen intimate “ideals” that gotta go: ∎ Subtly hit on your crush. No. Make that flirting obvious as hell. I don’t mean in a...
The V-Spot: At The End of My (Long-Distance) Rope
Hello Yana, I’ve been seeing a great guy for almost a year now who lives one and a half hours away. We’ve seen each other less than 15 times in the past year and I do 90 percent of the driving. We talk all the time through texts, but almost every weekend we make plans...
The V-Spot: Something Borrowed, Something Lubed
Dear Yana, Hey! I have a lube question and I thought who better to ask? My friend is going to be losing her virginity on her wedding night and is wondering what the best lube out there is — especially considering she hasn’t used any before, is unsure of allergies, and...
The V-Spot: Tying to Get Kinky
Hi Yana, My girlfriend and I are in college and we’ve done some like really, really basic BDSM: blindfolding, a little handcuffs, and some bondage stuff, but nothing serious. Now we want to do some tying down. What would you suggest? — Tie-Guy Dear Tie-Guy, Like a bad...
The V-Spot: Sweet (Sex-Positive) Sixteen, Is it ever okay for a dad to buy his daughter a vibrator?
Dear Yana, My eldest daughter is now 16. I’ve had to cover the sex talk basics as her mother (we’re divorced) is FAR more conservative (and shall we say repressed) than I. How do I, as a father, steer my daughter towards a more sex-positive outlook when it’s clear she...
The V-Spot: Feeling Rough
Ladies, when it comes to bangin’ banging, if you do the crime, you gotta do the time. Though this “time” can come in many forms, such as cramping, bruises, welts, and off-cycle vaginal bleeding, rarely will you get slapped with a life sentence. Sexual pleasure, much...
The V-Spot: Problems in Poly Paradise
Hi Yana, I’m in a relatively recent relationship, eight months, and my girlfriend is bisexual — not a problem — and polyamorous. I’ve known this from the beginning and I decided that I was okay with it. But I’m getting so heartbroken at the idea of her with someone...
The V-Spot: Seeking Spunky, Not Clunky
Hey girl! I was wondering if you might be able to recommend a good vibrator to use during sex with my boyfriend. Something with power, but not too cumbersome? xoxoxoxo — Seeking Spunky, Not Clunky Dear SSNC, I don’t make many assumptions in this job, but I get the...
The V-Spot: #SILO, Dumped in the digital age
So, you just got dumped. If you have a cell phone, a laptop or any kind of social media presence, your life just got real hard. There’s always something there to remind you of your ex. I recently read an article that depressingly informed me that “Facebook knows...
The V-Spot: Halp! I’m Totes Jelly
Dear Yana, My ex-boyfriend of five years cheated on me the whole time we were together. My low self-esteem let him convince me he still loved me despite the cheating. By the end we had opened our relationship to outside sexual partners, but it was mostly him going out...
The V-Spot: Getting Selfish in the Sack, Asking for better sex
We’re socialized to not ask for what we want. This applies to promotions, the best looking cookie in the cafe’s pastry case and, of course, sex. When we pointedly ask for what we want, we’re seen as selfish, greedy, finicky and maybe even a little mean. When women ask...
The V-Spot: Aftercare Is Not a Grey Area
A housewife’s wet dream, Fifty Shades of Grey, hit the big screen this past month — and hit it hard. The popularity of the book series, and now movie, has caused quite the stir in the practicing BDSM (bondage, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism) community,...
Finding the Male G-Spot
If you’re a loyal reader (and you should be), you know that I recently wrote a column that asked the ever-important anal sex question, “Why the avoidance, bros?” I then systematically listed and destroyed the pesky barriers to male anal sex and prostate stimulation,...
The V-Spot: When Can We Ditch the Rubbers?
Hi Yana, After how many months of no symptoms can one safely assume he or she is free of sexually transmitted diseases? I’m in a monogamous relationship right now with someone who’s just as healthy as I am, and we’re wondering how long until we can be reasonably sure...
The V-Spot: A Straight Boy and His Butt
“Prostate stimulation can be otherwordly, like you are not sure where the pleasure is coming from.” — The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman, Ph.D. and Aislinn Emirzian “[I] can’t put words on the orgasms, but it felt like I was having about three...
Between the Lines: SEX! Now that I’ve got your attention, SEX! The importance of The V-Spot
Since returning The V-Spot sex advice column to the pages of the Advocate earlier this month, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from our readers. Most are thrilled to have a sassy sexpert closing out the paper every week. Others question why a newspaper would dedicate so...
The V-Spot: Hopin’ 2 Open
Dear V-Spot, My husband and I were married in May. We’ve been together for eight years. He’s leaving in April for a year-long residence out of state. I’d like to be able to have a “monogamous-ish” (thanks Dan Savage) type thing while he’s gone. How do I bring that up...
The V-Spot: New Vibe for a New Mama
Hello V-Spot, I had a baby and now I’m so busy. I just want to buy a sex toy. I was going to get the newer JeJoue Mimi as I remember [from past columns] that was your favorite, but I read some people don’t like it and I don’t want to take the chance. I may get the...
Sexpert Yana Tallon-Hicks is back: You Found The V-Spot, but What About the G-Spot?
Editor’s Note: Back by popular demand, Yana Tallon-Hicks returns with The V-Spot, the Advocate’s weekly sex and relationship advice column. She received her undergrad in sexuality studies and sex education and worked as a sex educator/sales associate at various sex...
The V-Spot: Feeling Menage-a-Trepidatious
Dear Yana, About a year ago my girlfriend told me that she thinks she’s bi and that it was important for her to explore sex with women. So, I know at this point, as a dude, I’m supposed to go all crazy excited about a three-way, but I had a lot of reservations and...
Oh, That’s Better: How to have hotter sex in 2015
Another year goes by, another high-tech sex toy hits the market: remote-controlled vibrators that respond to your moan intonations, masturbation sleeves shaped like your favorite porn star, and whatever else the kinky nerds come up with next. Your i-Brain might have...Ahoy, Matey!: A Captain's Guide to his Semen
Having accomplished the majority of my boy-on-girl action in my teens and set up shop in lesbianland soon after that, I haven’t needed to put much serious thought into semen besides “Spit or swallow?” and “Please don’t fertilize...Eating Out
On the way to famous sex columnist, I’ve been taking a (long) detour in “slashie” land as a waitress-slash-sex writer (thanks, liberal arts degree!). Lately, between bringing customers bread and interviewing my co-workers about their favorite...Easy A
In the shadow of the spotlight-hogging G-spot, deep in the invisible caverns of the vaginal interior, there lies a hidden gem: the A-spot. The new vaginal black, as it were, the A-spot (or “the cul-de-sac” as it’s sometimes called) is the new coital...Top of the Moaning To Ya!
Yesterday I watched porn for breakfast. I’m not usually an a.m. porn-watcher. But when Tristan Taormino (well, her assistant) sends me a porno in the mail, I feel special, and therefore inclined to add some extra “oh’s to my morning Cheerios. Tristan...Cheap Thrills: Sexcessories Under $20
Twenty dollars doesn’t go far these days (good thing orgasms are still free), but it’ll go farther in a sex toy store than you think. Just stay away from the cash-wasting penis tiaras and edible undies. Here’s to more banging for your twenty bucks....Fist Fright: A reader's question answered
Dear V-Spot,I am willing to bet I have a question that probably doesn’t come up very often, if ever. My boyfriend and I recently starting experimenting with “fisting.” It is such a turn-on to me that I have some of the most powerful orgasms ever...Love at First Fist
After a Westfield reader’s fisting question was answered last week, I’m sure some of you have caught the highly contagious fisting fever. I mean, it’s fascinating, really—how do you get such a big, powerful symbol of strength into such a small...Spring Flings
Today I went to the Bulb Show at Smith College’s greenhouse. Maybe it was the sticky humidity, the intoxicating floral scent, or the suggestive cacti towering next to the quivering folds of pink orchids, but it was the first time in quite a while that I’ve...Dildo Takes a Vacation
When my partner and I decided to travel around South America, we couldn’t imagine four months without a strap-on harness and dildo. Nor, upon finding out that good lube was hard to come by abroad, could we possibly live without Sliquid Sassy Booty Formula....Hippity, Humpity, Hop!
No one made putting a cute little bunny on your clitoris look better than my favorite promiscuous cougar Samantha from HBO’s series Sex and The City. This fictional femme fatale and her overacted orgasms made the original Rabbit Pearl and Rabbit Habit vibrators...Feminist Porn
Feminist porn. To many, this sounds really oxymoronic. Yet I, a modern feminist, am constantly watching, getting off to and recommending you get off to porn. Allow me to explain. Porn can be violent, anti-feminist, degrading and exploitive. But it isn’t...I Bet Lance Armstrong Makes a Great Cocktail
For the past column, “Ahoy, Mateys! A Captain’s Guide to His Semen,” I was looking for an answer to a reader’s question about how to increase the volume of his ejaculate. While bulking him up with quite a load… of information, I stumbled...Hanky Panky
Pride season is here! A bi-coastal girl, I’m most familiar with the GLBTQ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer) Pride festivals in San Francisco and in our quaint little town of Northampton. San Francisco Pride is a massive affair of rainbows, ass-less chaps...Non-Missionary Accomplished
Missionary can be cozy, comfortable and just the uncomplicated, satisfying position you need after a long workday. Even if you are feeling the universal sexual urge to “mix it up,” it can seem like Mission Impossible to get out of Missionary. Well, you...Perfect Form
I wouldn’t dare call JimmyJane’s Form Series “toys.” Sure, technically they’re sex toys. But when JimmyJane’s (jimmyjane.com) founder Ethan Imboden and designer Yves B?har knocked the mental boots, an entirely different sexcessory...The V-Spot: SASSY SEX WRITER SEEKS EAGER READERS
I love getting people off. There’s something about the moment you glimpse that final spark in their eye before everything clicks and ah-hah! insecurities and hesitations melt away and it suddenly all makes sense. I’ve witnessed these climaxes in people 18...Life Beyond KY: The Wide, Wet World of Lube
Sure, KY lube is enticing with those commercials where a shy couple simply touches the bottle and, pow! A suggestive hurricane hits, resulting in a pair of dazed looks and rumpled hair. Good thing they came up with that “Yours + Mine” formula, because what...First Trip to a Sex Store?
You’ve never been to a sex toy store. Or, maybe you went into one when you turned 18, just because you could. You laughed at the toys, flipped through some dirty books and left. Or you went to one a while ago (just to see what it was like), but didn’t like...The V-Spot: Prostate Power, Part I: The Not-So-Dirty Truth
Everyone’s always looking for the G-spot. With its reputation, who wouldn’t? So boys, how would you feel if I told you that you had a G-spot equivalent—the P-spot, which can lead to longer, stronger and multiple male orgasms? Now what if I told you...The P-Spot (Part II): Exploring the great back door
If you read last week’s column (and did your homework) you’re probably at least intrigued about the male G-spot (the prostate, or P-spot), and, hopefully, those pesky myths about taking it up the you-know-what (it’s “gay”,...Love Your Latex
Excuses: unfortunately, that’s what many hear when it’s time to put on that condom. Who knew a little latex could be responsible for sensation loss, erectile dysfunction or inability to “really connect,” or that it could even make sex...Naughty Films for the Nice Couple
Usually when one hears the word “porn,” intimate kissing scenes between real couples or romantic dramas aren’t what come to mind. Though the readily available “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” adult flicks can be hot, they aren’t for...
PC Pilates
Whew! Dr. Arnold Kegel sure knows how to work out a girl’s vagina! Now, get your minds out of the gutter, dear readers, (this isn’t a porn script)—I’m talking about Kegel exercises. As they caused quite a stir a while back, you may have heard...A Quick Guide to Your First Vibe
When people find out that I write about sex toys, they lean in to whisper the inevitable question: “So what’s the best?” Especially when it comes to vibrators, they’re always looking for The One, the guaranteed insta-orgasm. Though I hate to...Potty Talk
Like many queer Northamptonites, I regularly pay my dues to the dance floors at Diva’s. When it’s time to do my private business, it warms my heart to see signs informing the club’s multi-gendered clientele that both bathrooms are open to everyone...The Sweet Couple's Guide to Getting Spicy
So you want to get spanked. Maybe called some dirty words. You want to get tied up, see her in a cheerleader’s uniform or bark like a dog for him. The easy answer is “Just do it,” but this isn’t a Nike ad, this is your sex life. And the fear...The Ties That Bind
After last week’s column, you and your partner are ready to get spicy. As one of the most common and multifaceted fetishes, you may be considering BDSM (bondage and discipline/domination and submission/sadism and masochism). Despite what many believe, BDSM is...Men-Oh-Oh-Oh-Pause
Thanks to a little annoyance called biology, menopause changes female terrain pretty drastically. It’s understandable that post-menopausal dryness, soreness and tightening and deterioration of the inner vaginal walls may make sex more mentally and physically...'Roid Rage
Hi ,Yana. First I want to say I think your column rocks. Initially I was like, “Gasp! Where is Ask Isadora?” Then I read what you had to say, and I was like, “Hey, that was actually pretty good and informative.” I read this week’s P-Spot...Tri-Curiosity Killed the Couple…
…but it doesn’t have to. Sure, for some, three’s a crowd. But for others, three’s a party. And a party’s always better with a little planning. Though there are all kinds of threesomes, I’m focusing on the couple/third-wheel variety,...Getting Better
It’s no longer breaking news—in just the last few months, seven young gay/queer men have taken their own lives after being homophobically bullied. And though I’d love to write the usual column about cockrings or strap-ons, it can’t go...Feeling Cocky
Though I don’t get these myself, from what I understand, erections are all about blood flow. Blood flows in, penis becomes erect, blood flows out, things get a little droopy. Unfortunately, tides change frequently and are hard to control. However, cockrings are...Dirty Little Secrets
Though I am a let-it-all-hang-out, sex-revolution-encouraging sex columnist, I do understand that not everyone has the privilege of leaving their dildos in the dishwasher, their restraints attached to their bedposts and their favorite vibe in their purse “just...E-Edition
Best Of 2024
Readers Choice 2024
