Blogs
Do you still get mints on the pillow?
Nothing says relaxation like a UFO abduction. Little wonder, then, that a hotel in Osaka, Japan will, for a small fee, give you the chance to achieve a little R&R in your own personal alien abduction room. No word on whether it comes with a free probe. Thanks to...So that's what happened to the Egyptians
Turns out,says dentist and hypnotherapist Dr. Bruce Goldberg (who clearly ought to know), the ancient Egyptians had teevee. Oh, the possibilities. The Nile Crocodile Hunter, Martha Stewart’s Living in the Afterlife, Who Wants to Be A Pharaoh? I wonder if they...If the Democrats won't, maybe the leprechauns will open the door to impeachment?
Yesterday, a man with no pants in Cincinnati declared that he was let into the car in which he was sleeping by a leprechaun.How to tell your basic ridgerunner from your basic gullyjumper
Be back soon, after being repeatedly stuffed full of proper Southern food. So here’s a little lesson in geocultural labelling in the meantime, about which I hope to return with more information. Seems in certain parts, namely some of those where I’m about...Elvis, half-Vulcans and Northampton
Having just returned from Graceland, my head full of rhinestones, it seemed almost normal to be shaking hands with Leonard Nimoy. What I mean is, this was, for me, a convergence sponsored by whatever capricious MC it is who brings a sense of importance to dreaming. It...Fatback, flapjacks, Flywheels and beery chocolate
I have no idea what those have in common, but I’m writing about Flywheel, and those other words just showed up. Flywheel has never been my favorite place in terms of its sound or its size, but it’s certainly my favorite venue in the Valley (besides...You say dilemma, I say dilemna
There’s a hole in the universe, and this may, apparently, prove that there is another universe. That makes me feel a whole lot better somehow. We’ve screwed things up so royally in this one that somebody or other deserves a chance to do better. I have my...The neo-McCarthy road show, coming to a gallows near you!
Imagine a future in which the government creates mobile commissions to conduct McCarthy-esque hunts for "homegrown terrorists" nationwide. Keep in mind that Freedom of Information Act requests revealed that in our own fair Valley, the American Friends...Soft in the head
As the son of a Baptist minister, I often read with dismay the incredible thoughts of some of the most far-gone among the evangelical set. The true top of the heap is probably the apocalyptic crew, the sort who try to calculate the exact date of the Rapture by turning...What spring is like on Jupiter and Mars
Our dumb world gets a little brighter for me when I look out at that whole space thing. Somewhere there is a world where things work out to not be so mind-numbingly stupid as our current dead end of consumer "culture." So it was with great pleasure that I...The Ad-pocalypse is here
I despise the advertising industry’s excesses. As luck would have it, print ads don’t bug me, because you control your exposure. (This is fortunate when one works for a newspaper.) You can turn the page anytime, or fold it over to remain undistracted from...Last chance to hold Bush accountable for spying?
Chris Dodd may not be blowing the top out of the polls, but he’s a principled man. I respect that tremendously, especially on this day when Dodd is being forced to filibuster because his own Senate Democratic "leadership" is bringing the wrong bill to...When you make lawyers angry…
Bush has really done it now. He’s got 1,000 lawyers mad and putting together a posse: visit www.thenation.comStill the one, baby!
We’ve still got it! Just when you thought the U.S. was suffering too badly from the international damage of being led by a dolt, something comes along that reminds you we’re still capable of some real achievements. Witness the latest report from Privacy...Help find intelligent life!
Call me a geek, but I love SETI@home. Way back when my computer was something along the lines of a glorified electric typewriter, I donated all my spare computing time to the SETI@home program. Long story short, it’s a massive project to sift through the...BREAKING: Is this real live actual treason, covered up by our government?
Sibel Edmonds, a former FBI translator, says she could put many Bush insiders behind bars. Plus a few non-Bushies, it turns out. If you don’t know who Edmonds is, you should find out. Her story is quite involved, so rather than tell it all, I’ll go with...Madame President is a fine thing, but Reverend President?
Our nation is a lovely experiment in the ideals of the Enlightenment. Our constitution was drafted with Article 6–no religious tests to hold office–in place for a reason. The early American theocrats didn’t like the Constitution, seeing it as...We can't prove that we're missing millions of emails…
The Bush endgame unveiled: we’d be happy to provide the incriminating emails if you can tell us what they are so we can find them, even though you can’t know what they are since we can’t find them. Oh, and we can’t prove that we’re...Why we can't all just get along
The ever-brilliant Glenn Greenwald skewers "bipartisanship" with the swift sword of truth, which, it turns out, is covered with the blood of Democrats. He offers this helpful breakdown of Senatorial votes on controversial laws, which reveals the true...Bush imitates Putin
The used to call journalism the Fourth Estate. I guess now we’ll have to call it the fourth branch of the Bush Unitary Executive. Seems one of the guys who broke the warrantless surveillance story has now been served with a subpoena for his truly heroic efforts....“It would be a heck of a lot easier if this was a dictatorship, just so long as I'm dictator.”
Today is one of those days—cold, pleasant enough—that makes midwinter in New England enjoyable. At least, that is, to someone like me who grew up thinking of winter as the 57 minutes in January when the Texas heat gives up, throws down a few half-hearted...Showing spine by doing nothing?
Having grown the spine to let the FISA overhaul expire and leave Bush sputtering, "Turr! Turrists! 9/11!" to an empty hall, the Democrats in Congress have an easy way forward. If only, that is, their newfound spine feels as good as it should. I, for one, am...The Shape of Smears to Come
I like Barack Obama. Not because I’m convinced he’s the best statesman up to bat, but because Obama is about as far from Bush (Mr. 19% approval, an ARG poll said yesterday!) as a person can be: intellectual, capable, eloquent. It’s been far too long...Parrotfish poop: what it means to you
Next time you’re luxuriating in some oceanside sand, just remember: Soylent Sand is fish poop.If the campaign's in the toilet, why not the press corps, too?
The Clinton campaign has been spreading the notion that Hillary Clinton has been getting the short end of the stick on press coverage. In Austin, Texas, they’ve certainly gone to great lengths to bribe the press into covering them more favorably: Not a joke. And...Has our children learned?
Barack Obama is a very smart guy. But this is the era of "Is our children learning?" His speech today was a well-conceived Hail Mary that several times posited some "controversial" statements, then fleshed them out and even undercut them in some...George W. Bush's real problem
Uncle Dick was right about everything. Even the Easter Bunny (who gives the best advice on that Iraq business, too).Mmmm–bacon cake!
Okay, so it’s not politics. But… but it’s chocolate bacon cake! A nirvana of sorts. Non-kosher sorts, perhaps. (Hat tip to Leisure Guy.)The Hard Questions
Who would I rather have a beer with? It’s a clear determinant of so many things about a president. And I can tell you, after every election I’ve voted in, I’ve gone straight to Washington, knocked on the White House door and said, “Yo, Pres!...Hey You, Get Off of My Cloud
When people say, "Have you seen that ad where…", well, I never have. I only watch PBS and DVDs unless tied to a chair ala Alex in Clockwork Orange. I loathe advertising with the kind of loathing one might reserve for Marmite, or David Hasselhoff. I...What's a little vote suppression among (Democratic) friends?
So yesterday, Daily Kos reported that some North Carolinians, most of whom, it seems, are African-American, were receiving robo-calls (which seem to be illegal for a couple of reasons) telling them they needed to send in voter registration packets they would be...Some thoughts for primary day
I hate pickles. Which may not matter to you, but it’s pretty important to me every time I order a sandwich and they go, "Do you want a pickle on the side?" and I say, "No," and then I get a sandwich with a pickle on the side. Cause people...Terror: Good for what ails ya! (or so says Donald)
The recent Pentagon document dump concerning the stable of former military men willing to serve as unofficial Bushie warmongers on the teevee has turned up a real gem. We always knew the Republican administration was riding the terror horse all the way to the bank....While You Were Away
The Democrats may yet give Bush a pass for spying on Americans. Back in civics class, things like congressional ‘holds’ and the details of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act seemed dry as cold British toast. And, of course, they largely are that...BREAKING: Cheney steals 10-Gallon look!
You know, a fella can take a lot of things. But when a guy goes and cops his signature look, well, that just ain’t right. What gives, Cheney? (He’s speaking at the Coast Guard graduation.)And I have proof that I had this look long before Cheney–in...Putting your foot down
Dead right feet keep washing up in Canada. I don’t have any brilliant notions about what such a thing could mean, but it’s just so goldang weird I had to bring it up. The experts (who knew there were experts on such things?) say the feet show no evidence...A new low in the who you'd rather have a beer with fooferaw
David Brooks, who blinks more than a guy with contacts in a sandstorm, says Obama’s got a problem–he can’t naturally fit in when he goes to an Applebee’s salad bar. Not only is that the kind of insipid, zero-brain-cell hogswallop that passes...Amurcans: not as crazy as we thought!
We have a new poll pointing toward something I’ve long suspected. Sure, it’s an oversimplification that doesn’t include factors like fundamentalism or being rich, but my half-baked theory goes this way: the easier it is for you to think of human...Mooning seems like fun and games till somebody puts an eye out
OK, not really an eye, but a Dutch mooner got more than he bargained for when he pressed his bare cheeks against a plate glass window at a restaurant. The window broke. That’s even worse than institutional toilet paper.McCainiacs: It's naptime!
John McCain spoke last night from beyond the grave. It was one of the most frightening speeches I’ve ever seen. “Attaturk,” over at the very fine Eschaton blog, offered the best comment so far: “Oh, go with the green background. It’ll...So how exactly do you write a novel?
I still don’t know how, but I’m doing it anyway. And I find that this here Advocate job, what with the deadlines and regular writing, is a real help in getting it done, even if I don’t know exactly how it works.Why does saying that (or typing it,...Novel advice and Supreme Court haiku-izing
I’m back from novelizing. As they say in government, "progress was made." This is a fine thing. And thank you to the folks who dropped by to say howdy on the blog. Mr. Bigbooty, I think haiku is a fine idea. I’m going to try one now in lieu of a...Truly great guitar playing
As a six-string dude myself, there’s nothing I think is finer than someone who can blow the roof off the sucker with a guitar. And Saturday night, Adrien Moignard and his band, L’Ensemble Zaiti (about whom I penned a story last week, I’m happy to...Why are dolphins (possibly) offing themselves?
This just can’t be a good sign. Are dolphins going crazy? Keep in mind the claims that elephants are being driven nuts by humans in Africa.Strange Bedfellows: Help stop Congress' insistence on removing our constitutional rights. UPDATE: It's even worse than we thought.
I’m not much of a joiner, but I just joined "Strange Bedfellows." This is a gathering–from the left and the right–of those who want to stop the FISA "compromise" Steny Hoyer has cooked up somewhere in the bowels of the Capitol...So who do we turn to now?
Congrats, spineless Democrats! You’ve taken the clamoring calls from all Americans to let Bush spy on us even more and to forgive the phone companies for helping him spy, and you’ve kept it real! Congratulations, especially, on the part of the bill that...Police state? Now it's trademarked!
One of the most frightening things about Bush is that he and his don’t see a difference between the corporate and the public. While we aren’t paying much attention, companies like Halliburton and Blackwater are becoming privatized armies, beholden to no...Powdered wigs and Salacious Crumb
Few have done as much to dismantle our Constitution and to transform the executive into a near-dictatorship as the contemptuous Bush minions David Addington and John Yoo. Addington has tirelessly worked to shore up the notion that the president can do as he bloody...Sometimes, former bandmates end up in REO Speedwagon tributes.Then there's my pal who's running for office in Texas.
When I was in college in Texas, I was in a Celtic band. At first, it was a pleasant and earnest trio. It ended up being sort of a cross between the Pogues and circus school. It was an absolute blast from start to finish. I played some guitar, a little mandolin (I...Happy British guy gone crazy Day–check this out!
Want to know why it was so important to declare our independence from the Brits? Here’s one answer.Keep watching–you won’t regret it!Nutjobs and innovators
Item 1:Gary Trudeau nails the GOP in one short comic strip.Item 2:Innovative underwear we can all get behind.Happy Capitulation Day!
Our fine upstanding senators are about to take this: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported...The Texas Turtle rides again!
I left Texas, but Texas keeps catching up to me. There’s a lot to like about the Lone Star State when you get outside the realm of politics, but among the most annoying things in Texas, one finds former Senator Phil Gramm. The Texas Turtle, as I call him. When...Bessie done dealt it.
It’s got to be humiliating anymore to be a cow. You’re mostly harmless, you just eat grass and stand around, then some tool comes along and kills you for hamburgers. But I’ve seen little to equal this bovine humiliation: To combat global warming,...Where's my fiddle? Are those flames I see?
Glenn Greenwald nails our current death spiral, and the utter helplessness of electing people to represent you who promptly sell your rights down the river:"…this highlights the central political dilemma in the U.S. The Bush-led Republican Party, marching...Would you like to buy a monkey?
The Republicans say stuff they think will be hip among "the youth," and end up sounding like focus-grouped Sith Nerds.First, John McCain and W employ nonexistent usage to prove how online-savvy they are–McCain talks about "a Google," and Bush...It ain't over till it's over
Achtung: Bush and Cheney are not through. We are inching closer to fascism even while we are looking forward to the apparent end of the boy-king’s reign. Hyperbole? Here are two factors to consider in addition to the recent retroactive immunity congress granted...Republican operative smells a vote-fixing rat.
Stalin said it doesn’t matter who casts the votes, but who counts the votes.Wonder who counted them in 2002, 2004 and 2006?Department of Vaterland Security's millionth customer!
The ACLU’s just revealed that the "terrorist watch list" has hit one million names! This isn’t even the "terrorist suspect list," mind. You’re a terrorist or you wouldn’t be on it, right? Which is why those unfortunates who...E-Edition
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