Ten Gallon Liberal
Bush's disappearing halo
A while back, I collected photos of Our Dear Leader with a halo. Apparently some AP photographer was having a good time fuzzing up the presidential seal, making Bush look downright saintly. See what I mean? I was never quite sure what this was supposed to mean. Was...Git a rope
For all you wannabe cowboys, I’ll say this: Saddam? Bad guy. He meted out his share and more of ugly death. Though I oppose the death penalty, there have been times I couldn’t muster the high-flown idealism to oppose it. This is one of those times, and the...Oh great swami
"Oh great swami," many people say to me, "what will happen in 2007?" And unto them I say: "I know not much. But I can guess a few things and see what sticks."Chief among those things is this: now that Democrats have managed to take both...The boy can write, too!
Dubya wrote an opinion column. Well, at least his name is on it. Shouldn’t they credit the starry-eyed Oral Roberts University grad or College Republican Lieutenant who no doubt saw this ghost-writing gig as his (uncredited) moment of Kool-Aid-fuelled glory?...Gore was right
Today’s unusual fact:The world really is falling apart. The whole dang thing. In pieces, I tell you. See?Via Fortean Times, a very fine UK publication.Dem busts a move?
Keith Ellison, new Minnesota congressman and Muslim, shows us how to give as good as you get from the merciless commentators of the Right. This is the guy who was told by Glenn Beck on CNN, "You are a Democrat. You are saying, ‘Let’s cut and...Bush and the Progressive Angst Two-Step
The frustrations of those of us who never fell for Bush’s propagandizing destructions of rhetoric and common sense have been manifold. The Bushites’ overwhelming number of manipulations of process and loopholes have been nearly impossible to track, thanks...Bush may have done something good
Interesting how on the day Virginia Rep. Virgil Goode’s worst nightmare happens–Muslim Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) gets sworn in with the Koran (see earlier post "Dem busts a move?")–it’s breaking news that Bush has chosen to send as...the rest of the axis of evil
While Bush is planning to "surge" us into oblivion Iraqi-style, the North Koreans are looking for a little love, too–according to ABC News, there’s activity at a nuclear test site. That’s the problem George has never gotten used to: the...Hogzilla
I really don’t care for politics. I’ve been up to my widow’s peak in it since 2000, but it’s only because it’s seemed necessary in a way it never was before. The whole Gore-Bush election-stealing bit woke me from my slumber, and since...Napoleon could learn a thing or two
A few days ago, I wrote about the multi-step process that kicks in every time I read of a new example of Bush hubris. At that point, it was Bush’s desire to read anybody’s mail he’d like to, given "exigent circumstances," a term so vague...Texas pigotry
Sometimes the best you can say of my home state is that it’s got a flamboyant sense of style like few other places. In this case, even the anti-Muslim push in Katy, Texas is utterly Texan: the guy who lives next to a proposed mosque site is throwing pig races on...What's the word for soulless sell-out?
Last night on the NPR show Fresh Air, Terry Gross interviewed Frank Luntz. When I found the link this morning to review the show, I was stunned at what a freshly scrubbed, chipper face evil has chosen to wear. Luntz has even shaved his beard.Luntz is usually dubbed a...Progress in the ongoing battle to sell more stuff
There’s a central theme to what fills me with dismay about my country. (And this time I mean all of it, not just Texas.) It’s full of good, decent people who, I believe, are mostly generous and want to do the right thing. So what is it about us Americans...Iraq or Iran?
Though it’s certainly important to note another piece of pig news (pork arson?), there are yet bigger doings in the world that need addressing.Steven Clemons’ blog The Washington Note features some insider confirmation of the president’s obsession...Turducken without all that danged stuffing!
And you thought meat came from cows.In my ongoing attempt to stay on top of all the porcine news, I give you: Mad scientist time.It’s not strictly pigs, but you could do bacon. Foxes, henhouses and of course, covering W’s arseWhat do you do when...A proposal: the troop Serge
A brilliant idea, prompted by the musings of one Tom Sturm. The Rebubblicans keep sayings the Democrats don’t have any ideas, but this’ll stop ’em dead in their tracks. You can have the troop surge. We want a troop Serge, as in French pop star Serge...Turrists, identify yourselves!
Gentle reader, I humbly beseech thee: proffer thine assistance. You see, it’s getting tough to keep straight who’s a turrist and who’s not. Not to mention who’s giving in to the turrists by thinking the wrong thoughts. The bellwether has been...Decider, Educator-in-Chief, NeoClown
Straight from the big top, I give you Giorgio "Wiggles" Bushemi. You can certainly expect to see more of him.And his sidekick, Richard "Bubbles" Chainlink. Staying the course.With many thanks to Josh Ryan for these fine creations.O Little Town of Bethlehem how subversively we see thee lie
This from Yahoo News today:"BETHLEHEM, Pa. – An elderly man who wrote in a letter to the editor about Saddam Hussein’s execution that "they hanged the wrong man" got a visit from Secret Service agents concerned he was threatening President...Peanut patty pilot
When I was in high school in Texas, my best pal and I had a little notion. We thought, "Hey, what would happen if we blurred the focus on the old Pentax and threw stuff up in the air?"The results, some of which I hope to post later, were some of the most...NASCongress
My steamed colleague over at the Frank Dodge Report has endorsed a Jim Hightower notion I strongly support: "Make them folks in congress dress like those NASCAR fellows. They shld wear jumpsuits with patches for all their sponsors. bigger the patch, bigger the...The perils of youth in Asia
Weird things happen everywhere. But only in Asia are people producing weird things from their bodies. I mean, apart from the usual what-have-you. There was this one time I… oh, forget it. Anyway, it was weird enough that Nepal recently boasted a young girl who...From the We Told You So Department
Today brings a small victory for those of us who’ve maintained that there was more than ample fishiness in the results of the 2004 presidential election in Ohio. Robert Kennedy, Jr., in a Rolling Stone article, did a very fine job of laying out the many...In outer space, no one can hear you vote Republican
If living in a red state seems tough, you could give a try to the red planet. And as U2’s The Edge once said in an online chat, "I think Mars is a great idea. I’m all in favor of Mars."The pen is mightier than a lion
Seems a fellow on the West Coast got attacked by a mountain lion, and, from the lion’s mouth, calmly directed his wife to get the pen from his pocket and poke the lion in the eye. The jury may still be out on whether the pen really is mightier than the sword,...Our Republ president and his Republ friends
Earlier in my voyage in Blogland, I pointed out the language-based sins of Frank Luntz, "Republican pollster" and bald-faced manipulator of public discourse. He’s one of those guys who’s long been in the inner circle of stratospheric, amoral...Your very own Bush appointee!
We are apparently fighting the nonsense at home so we don’t have to fight it abroad. What I mean to say is, when do we get to stop writing, over and over, the same story? Yep: the Bush-child has given himself, you guessed it, even more power!New York Times:...a tip of the hat to Molly
The world is poorer for the loss of Molly Ivins, dead at 62 of breast cancer. Texas, thanks to its political exports, has plenty to be ashamed of these days. But to those who would decry my home state, I can always point to Ivins and say, "They ain’t all...Deus ex Marketa
Here’s a story to watch for sure. A cheap drug called DCA has demonstrated the ability to kill cancer cells. Not just one type, mind, but apparently most cancer cells in general. In cancer cells, the main cell body produces energy through something called...Say it ain't so, Chewie
It just breaks my heart when wookiees turn bad. Best quote: "Nobody tells this wookiee what to do!" Chewbacca, we hardly knew ye. Superman was a witness. This whole scene seems like some sort of comics convention gone very wrong. What will we tell the...Electric squid
Had to take a little time in non-blog mode there in order to re-point my spurs and grout the old gray mare. Or something. Anyway, it’s good to be back in the saddle. Much of note has gone down, most notably Great Leader Bush has decided to speak out on his own...The %**mind of Bush
I often feel as if we’re led by a 12-year-old, but apparently we’re led by a Deliverance-style 12-year-old. Ted Haggard ain’t got nothing on Brokeback Bush, it seems.From a Ha’aretz review of a Sharon biography: Speaking of George Bush, with...When all else fails, bike sideways
Of course, people are naysaying this brilliant inventor, who’s come up with a sideways bike. Useless, you say? Well that’s what they’ll say when I come out with my double 2-liter drinking cap, not to mention my non-swivelling chair and my pen that...Six feet high and rising
I used to live in New Orleans, and it was a horrifying thing to see pictures of my old neighborhood after Katrina–the water was up to the top of the street signs. It was breathtaking to watch the hubris as Bush had generators light up St. Louis Cathedral in the...12 is one less than 13, which is 10 less than 23!
I propose a little experiment. After reading how Jim Carrey suddenly started seeing the number 23 in everything from his oatmeal to his underpants and ascribed mystical meaning to it all, I just chose my own number with which to get all mystified up. Maybe I’ll...Bigfoot Arnold
The news today seems a sort of miasma– the VP was near a mostly thwarted bombing in a dangerous part of the world (reports that he was the target are impossible to confirm– suicide bombing are apparently quite common in Afghanistan these days, so it might...Merry Fitzmas!
Oh, happy day. Isn’t this the very first time a Bush administration official has been dragged into court and found guilty? How many more will follow? My favorite comment from the one juror who’s openly talking to the press– he says they felt kind of...Nothing to see here– just clearing some brush
You may have heard about the emerging scandal of the Bush administration’s firing of U.S. Attorneys for what appear to be, in several cases, clearly political reasons. Wherever an abuse of power is possible, the Bush crew have set out to exploit it– this...What happens when you eat too much garlic
Remind me not to rile any Serbs. Seems a trio of Van Helsing wannabes drove a stake through Slobodan Milosevic’s heart. Geez Louise! I mean, we’ve got our own undead — Robert Novakula and this guy: come to mind — but it’s a metaphor,...Is it just me, or is it getting scaly in here?
You know that old interview question about who you’d invite to dinner if you could? I just discovered a new invitee who could change everything at that particular candlelight supper. You might have to invite Winston Churchill just to hear what he’d say to...So much depends
So much depends on a red-state Attorney, glazed with Republican talking points, beside the white chickenhawks.El Corazon: theory and practice
There’s a political law I’ve observed that bears a strong resemblance to my own, ultra-patented Corazon Theory (TM, baby). The Corazon Theory (TM, baby) bears a longer explication, but the basic notion is that the more authentic and tasty a Mexican...The Republican Memory Fund
As Howie Kurtz notes today, there’s a disturbing amount of amnesia hitting the Republican upper crust. This is tough on the rest of us as we try to piece together who last prayed at the Karl Rove altar, or worse yet, rapped with him. (This is the most disturbing...Bad cardinals
Okay, which one of you dudes in a funny hat is smoking while the Pope preaches? Sure, you could just ‘fess up, but no, you’ve gotta go blaming it on angels… On the other hand, maybe we’ve found the 10-foot cigarette that’s gone missing in...Woah, man! Cosmic IT
So much is clear to me now about how computers work. Courtesy of the White House and their incredible missing Attorney Purge Scandal emails, I can now present a new, fascinating computer fact:Did you know that emails actually go to another universe when they leave...Drive-thru grieving
First, a disclaimer: the post below is a work-in-progress. Your commentary is therefore much appreciated. The text will change as this becomes a for-print piece.To the significant number of us still encumbered by a sense of irony, last week’s terrible and...Meanwhile
Sometimes you catch a glimpse of the world outside the handbasket. This image just made me happy. It’s tiresome to have to waste so much perfectly good brainpower on counteracting a bunch of criminals who want to destroy life, liberty and happiness for all but...Send in the czars
I’ve often wondered how we got to a point in our government in which somebody thought, "Hey, what this crapshoot needs is a czar!" A czar?(This is Bob Pease, who declared himself czar of bandgaps. He understands.)Last I checked, a czar (tsar, if...Blogging in a jumpsuit, uh-huh
There is an intriguing phenomenon afoot. (Though a foot is not a phenomenon.) What I mean is that, though blogs are as readily contracted as athlete’s foot (another phenomenon entirely), there is a particular brand of anonymous wordslinger who prefers the...When Star Wars really goes to your head
I just found, in researching some of the finer points of detail for the new Advocate cover story on Star Wars, what happens when you really let your Boba Fett mix with your Jabba the Hut. I mean, I too wish for my own personal landspeeder, light saber and Millenium...Ours for the taking
Greg Palast is once again proving that we live in a remarkable bubble of propaganda. Of course, it’s all possible because most of us refuse to believe it, or else we don’t want to admit it until everyone else has been snookered, like the hustled crowd who...Why we haven't gotten that bin Laden fellow, explained!
From yesterday’s press conference:Q: Mr. President, why is [Osama bin Laden] still at large? THE PRESIDENT: Why is he at large? Because we haven’t got him yet, Jim. That’s why.This also just in:We haven’t left Iraq because we’re still...War on Turr! Now 50 percent off!
The central problem with selling the War on Turr ™ as an indefinite proposition is that the only people who seem to be fighting it are the soldiers themselves and George W. Bush. We don’t seem like a nation at war. What do we conserve? What do we...Since policing Korea has been so gosh-darned swell…
Yesterday, White House obfuscaterTony Snow brought to light the news that our Great Leader, far from listening to the will of the majority of the people who may or may not have elected him, envisions his great Iraq war as something along the lines of Korea, where we...Elephants in trouble
You know things are bad when elephants are becoming highway bandits to extract food from surprised travellers. Of course, the metaphorical possibilities are endless when it comes to our Republican friends and their current well-deserved decline, but it may well be...Engage smug mode
Greg Palast, thrower of journalistic Molotov cocktails, has recently been attacked on Daily Kos. Many people catch heat there, but in Palast’s case, the attack was a bit weird. He brought his allegations of a little something called vote caging (for more, please...Hefzilla?
I never intended to cover the wild hog beat. My parents were born in Arkansas, however, so perhaps it’s destiny. Perhaps I’m destiny’s child? It’s early. Anyway. (For earlier hog news, see this or that).Thanks to the latest monster pig killed...Hefzilla BREAKING!!
Eleven-year-old Jamison Stone shoots old friend of giant hog he recently downed. The giant pig, whose name was Fred, used to cavort with a chihuahua, at least when he wasn’t being irate about a lack of hog slop. Stone recently learned the whereabouts of that...E-Edition
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