Ten Gallon Liberal
The Shape of Smears to Come
I like Barack Obama. Not because I’m convinced he’s the best statesman up to bat, but because Obama is about as far from Bush (Mr. 19% approval, an ARG poll said yesterday!) as a person can be: intellectual, capable, eloquent. It’s been far too long...Parrotfish poop: what it means to you
Next time you’re luxuriating in some oceanside sand, just remember: Soylent Sand is fish poop.If the campaign's in the toilet, why not the press corps, too?
The Clinton campaign has been spreading the notion that Hillary Clinton has been getting the short end of the stick on press coverage. In Austin, Texas, they’ve certainly gone to great lengths to bribe the press into covering them more favorably: Not a joke. And...Has our children learned?
Barack Obama is a very smart guy. But this is the era of "Is our children learning?" His speech today was a well-conceived Hail Mary that several times posited some "controversial" statements, then fleshed them out and even undercut them in some...George W. Bush's real problem
Uncle Dick was right about everything. Even the Easter Bunny (who gives the best advice on that Iraq business, too).Mmmm–bacon cake!
Okay, so it’s not politics. But… but it’s chocolate bacon cake! A nirvana of sorts. Non-kosher sorts, perhaps. (Hat tip to Leisure Guy.)The Hard Questions
Who would I rather have a beer with? It’s a clear determinant of so many things about a president. And I can tell you, after every election I’ve voted in, I’ve gone straight to Washington, knocked on the White House door and said, “Yo, Pres!...Hey You, Get Off of My Cloud
When people say, "Have you seen that ad where…", well, I never have. I only watch PBS and DVDs unless tied to a chair ala Alex in Clockwork Orange. I loathe advertising with the kind of loathing one might reserve for Marmite, or David Hasselhoff. I...What's a little vote suppression among (Democratic) friends?
So yesterday, Daily Kos reported that some North Carolinians, most of whom, it seems, are African-American, were receiving robo-calls (which seem to be illegal for a couple of reasons) telling them they needed to send in voter registration packets they would be...Some thoughts for primary day
I hate pickles. Which may not matter to you, but it’s pretty important to me every time I order a sandwich and they go, "Do you want a pickle on the side?" and I say, "No," and then I get a sandwich with a pickle on the side. Cause people...Terror: Good for what ails ya! (or so says Donald)
The recent Pentagon document dump concerning the stable of former military men willing to serve as unofficial Bushie warmongers on the teevee has turned up a real gem. We always knew the Republican administration was riding the terror horse all the way to the bank....While You Were Away
The Democrats may yet give Bush a pass for spying on Americans. Back in civics class, things like congressional ‘holds’ and the details of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act seemed dry as cold British toast. And, of course, they largely are that...BREAKING: Cheney steals 10-Gallon look!
You know, a fella can take a lot of things. But when a guy goes and cops his signature look, well, that just ain’t right. What gives, Cheney? (He’s speaking at the Coast Guard graduation.)And I have proof that I had this look long before Cheney–in...Putting your foot down
Dead right feet keep washing up in Canada. I don’t have any brilliant notions about what such a thing could mean, but it’s just so goldang weird I had to bring it up. The experts (who knew there were experts on such things?) say the feet show no evidence...A new low in the who you'd rather have a beer with fooferaw
David Brooks, who blinks more than a guy with contacts in a sandstorm, says Obama’s got a problem–he can’t naturally fit in when he goes to an Applebee’s salad bar. Not only is that the kind of insipid, zero-brain-cell hogswallop that passes...Amurcans: not as crazy as we thought!
We have a new poll pointing toward something I’ve long suspected. Sure, it’s an oversimplification that doesn’t include factors like fundamentalism or being rich, but my half-baked theory goes this way: the easier it is for you to think of human...Mooning seems like fun and games till somebody puts an eye out
OK, not really an eye, but a Dutch mooner got more than he bargained for when he pressed his bare cheeks against a plate glass window at a restaurant. The window broke. That’s even worse than institutional toilet paper.McCainiacs: It's naptime!
John McCain spoke last night from beyond the grave. It was one of the most frightening speeches I’ve ever seen. “Attaturk,” over at the very fine Eschaton blog, offered the best comment so far: “Oh, go with the green background. It’ll...So how exactly do you write a novel?
I still don’t know how, but I’m doing it anyway. And I find that this here Advocate job, what with the deadlines and regular writing, is a real help in getting it done, even if I don’t know exactly how it works.Why does saying that (or typing it,...Novel advice and Supreme Court haiku-izing
I’m back from novelizing. As they say in government, "progress was made." This is a fine thing. And thank you to the folks who dropped by to say howdy on the blog. Mr. Bigbooty, I think haiku is a fine idea. I’m going to try one now in lieu of a...Truly great guitar playing
As a six-string dude myself, there’s nothing I think is finer than someone who can blow the roof off the sucker with a guitar. And Saturday night, Adrien Moignard and his band, L’Ensemble Zaiti (about whom I penned a story last week, I’m happy to...Why are dolphins (possibly) offing themselves?
This just can’t be a good sign. Are dolphins going crazy? Keep in mind the claims that elephants are being driven nuts by humans in Africa.Strange Bedfellows: Help stop Congress' insistence on removing our constitutional rights. UPDATE: It's even worse than we thought.
I’m not much of a joiner, but I just joined "Strange Bedfellows." This is a gathering–from the left and the right–of those who want to stop the FISA "compromise" Steny Hoyer has cooked up somewhere in the bowels of the Capitol...So who do we turn to now?
Congrats, spineless Democrats! You’ve taken the clamoring calls from all Americans to let Bush spy on us even more and to forgive the phone companies for helping him spy, and you’ve kept it real! Congratulations, especially, on the part of the bill that...Police state? Now it's trademarked!
One of the most frightening things about Bush is that he and his don’t see a difference between the corporate and the public. While we aren’t paying much attention, companies like Halliburton and Blackwater are becoming privatized armies, beholden to no...Powdered wigs and Salacious Crumb
Few have done as much to dismantle our Constitution and to transform the executive into a near-dictatorship as the contemptuous Bush minions David Addington and John Yoo. Addington has tirelessly worked to shore up the notion that the president can do as he bloody...Sometimes, former bandmates end up in REO Speedwagon tributes.Then there's my pal who's running for office in Texas.
When I was in college in Texas, I was in a Celtic band. At first, it was a pleasant and earnest trio. It ended up being sort of a cross between the Pogues and circus school. It was an absolute blast from start to finish. I played some guitar, a little mandolin (I...Happy British guy gone crazy Day–check this out!
Want to know why it was so important to declare our independence from the Brits? Here’s one answer.Keep watching–you won’t regret it!Nutjobs and innovators
Item 1:Gary Trudeau nails the GOP in one short comic strip.Item 2:Innovative underwear we can all get behind.Happy Capitulation Day!
Our fine upstanding senators are about to take this: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported...The Texas Turtle rides again!
I left Texas, but Texas keeps catching up to me. There’s a lot to like about the Lone Star State when you get outside the realm of politics, but among the most annoying things in Texas, one finds former Senator Phil Gramm. The Texas Turtle, as I call him. When...Bessie done dealt it.
It’s got to be humiliating anymore to be a cow. You’re mostly harmless, you just eat grass and stand around, then some tool comes along and kills you for hamburgers. But I’ve seen little to equal this bovine humiliation: To combat global warming,...Where's my fiddle? Are those flames I see?
Glenn Greenwald nails our current death spiral, and the utter helplessness of electing people to represent you who promptly sell your rights down the river:"…this highlights the central political dilemma in the U.S. The Bush-led Republican Party, marching...Would you like to buy a monkey?
The Republicans say stuff they think will be hip among "the youth," and end up sounding like focus-grouped Sith Nerds.First, John McCain and W employ nonexistent usage to prove how online-savvy they are–McCain talks about "a Google," and Bush...It ain't over till it's over
Achtung: Bush and Cheney are not through. We are inching closer to fascism even while we are looking forward to the apparent end of the boy-king’s reign. Hyperbole? Here are two factors to consider in addition to the recent retroactive immunity congress granted...Republican operative smells a vote-fixing rat.
Stalin said it doesn’t matter who casts the votes, but who counts the votes.Wonder who counted them in 2002, 2004 and 2006?Department of Vaterland Security's millionth customer!
The ACLU’s just revealed that the "terrorist watch list" has hit one million names! This isn’t even the "terrorist suspect list," mind. You’re a terrorist or you wouldn’t be on it, right? Which is why those unfortunates who...Now that's a smart monkey
Not alot to say politically, but hey, LOOK AT THIS CHIMP!(And yes, Corwin, I know chimps aren’t monkeys. But hominids most definitely make a mean omelette, pictures notwithstanding.)Have you accepted George W Bush as your personal savior?
The ultimate cross of evangelical-speak and politics?The Washington Post found a real gem in the new Department of Justice report saying yes, Bushies done broke the law. Remember Monica Goodling, the softspoken, earnest woman who was vetting DOJ candidates for...Cool cars
Who doesn’t love cool cars? If you’ll pardon my inner 13-year-old, I used to think the coolest car ever devised by man was the hearse-Jaguar coupe from Harold and Maude. And it’s still a major contender.It’s closely followed in my fevered brain...Bush the Decider and now, the Counterfeiter too
Well, if we needed anything else to prove Bush must be impeached for the U.S. to have any self-respect left, this is it. Ron Suskind reported this a few years ago:The [senior White House] aide said that guys like me were "in what we call the reality-based...A Dear Joe letter
It’s not often wise to feed vitriolic feedback, but one receives vitriol, therefore one is. So what the heck. Here’s Joe, commenting on the Ten Gallon Liberal yesterday: Few things here: 1. It appears that you believe ANYTHING you read as long as it...Ten Gallon, straw man edition
Letting your mogwai get wet is not wise, as we all know by now. But I did it, and now I have a nice collection of straw men. When that happens, one must dry off that mogwai durn quick. So here goes the symbolic destruction of the straw man. May he run off to live on...Straw man, hairy man (in the other Georgia)
Today is either the biggest day in Bigfoot history, or the biggest hoax in Bigfoot history. Seems some dudes in Georgia have a body in the freezer, or at least they claim to. They also claim exclusive rights to all images and "commercial opportunities"...PROOF: Bigfeet have advanced dental technology!
Take a look here at our largefoot friend: Pardon me, but, as I told my friend Earl earlier, that fellow has a really good set of choppers. Could he have naturally acquired such teeth? I think not!I am therefore announcing my own major find: Bigfeet not only exist,...Bigfoot still walks among us.
There are plenty of people taking the easy road on this Bigfoot thing. Hoax, rubber foot, blah blah blah. Well, don’t believe them. Oh ye of little faith–why not see the truth that stares you in the face, all beady-eyed?Maybe, just maybe, the true nature...Getting some Zs–two of them, to be precise
Last night three of the fine fellows of the Local Buzz teamed up with some of us Advocate types (Tom Sturm and Kendra Thurlow plus me) to be ZZ Top for Transperformance. I’ve never had so much fun in a fake beard. After spending the last several years playing...So much for the “daddy party”
My big question of the day: Just how uncomfortable is John McCain going to be standing next to a much younger, very non-manly VP candidate? His pick of one-term (well, part of one-term, following a stint as mayor of a small town) Alaska governor Sarah Palin is at once...My (or your!) manly truck
I come back from a week of vacation, and find that it’s the little things that offer the biggest humorous rewards. Witness this comment from my Palin post about her giant lapel pin, in which "Eric" responds to my saying Palin is less qualified than...Wow, am I scared now!
I have to take a break from the current debate with reader Eric long enough to say something about McCain’s latest ad. It uses the utterly silly notion that Obama opposition researchers are wolves, out to get their helpless prey (the woman who describes herself...Seven Years Ago
There is much that is terrible to remember from seven years ago today. But in, as they say, the fullness of time, there are two things that really seem to stick with me. One is the utter quiet of that night, looking up at very bright stars untroubled by airplane...The Doctrine of Pre-emptiness
I’m sure someone will come along shortly to tell us why this moment is evidence of Sarah Palin’s grand expertise. Check it out for yourself, and see what you think of Palin’s knowledge of the "Bush Doctrine" of preventive (not preemptive)...What He Said
My friend Jamie Berger is angry. Angry in a deep-seated way. Angry in a way I understand. First, a reference point: I taught Freshman English for years. This taught me a lot about what I call “belligerent ignorance.” There were, happily, exceptional...A Republican who wants his country back, too
A quick missive from Grand Band Slam land… This is as eloquent a follow-up as I can imagine for my last post (which I would be most grateful if you took the time to read). It’s from a Morrison, Colorado Republican named Greg King, from a blog at the Denver...Another Republican embraces Obama–as the conservative in the race
No less a conservative than former National Review publisher Wick Allison lends credence to something I think is clearly the case: conservativism, a perfectly reasonable political viewpoint I just happen to largely disagree with, is no longer conservatism. Enjoy! A...Whither old-school conservatives?
Some prominent old-school conservatives are noticing that Bushies, including McCain, aren’t really on their team anymore. GOP senator: A ‘stretch’ to say Palin is qualifiedNebraska Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel said his party’s vice presidential...Drunkards and fools
Quiz time: When the drunk who micturated on the rug that tied the room together comes to your door and demands you give him the keg of beer in your garage with no strings attached, what should you say? a) Of course! And be sure to check out the wine cellar before you...Voting–who needs it?
Republicans have focused on "voter fraud," an individual crime which seems to be quite rare. But how about large-scale, systemic prevention of voting? This seems to sometimes be an equal-opportunity vote preventer, and other times to be lopsided against new...Getting deep, post-debate
Deep thought: McCain has dots for eyebrows.Deeper thought: What was "that one" about? McCain seemed nigh unto unhinged in that moment. What is the antecedent of "one" here? I can’t put a finger on it, but that seemed untoward at best.Deepest...E-Edition
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